To Honeyfund or not to Honeyfund?

Honeyfunds are a big bowl of tacky no-no's.

Just don't register anywhere and usually people take the hint that you just want money.

This is the worst and most hated topic on WW, just so you know...

I'm struggling with this too, some say it's rude...some say not.

@LissyLoo I literally don't even know how the whole star thing works lol

I post this on every Honeyfund and cash bar post. So don't feel picked on. At least not by me.

Unpopular opinion -- I personally find NOTHING wrong or tasteless about a honeymoon fund. I've attended numerous weddings for which brides have set up a honeymoon fund, and not one person that attended them was offended. Who cares about a $75 spatula? Give your friends, family, etc. the gift of a great experience that they'll remember for the rest of their lives! To me, that's more meaningful, especially during an era in which couples are living together more and more before the wedding, and often have all of the physical items they could possibly want. If you ask me, I'd rather know that a friend gifted me with a delicious dinner in Italy than bought me a blender I'm never going to use again. (Also, for those who are horrified that honeymoon funds typically take a percentage of the "gift," fear not -- there are sites (like Zola) which allow the bride and groom to cover off on those fees.)

http://emilypost.com/advice/wedding-registry-etiquette/

Why the hell does everyone think people register for stuff like blenders and toasters they're never going to use? We have a ton of stuff from living on our own for years before moving in together and still registered at 3 stores. It's not like you make a registry of things you don't want, just because.

And LOL at the extremely well off couple who had a honeyfund. That's just the epitome of tacky.

Lol the shock and horror at a honeyfund on this forum is pretty funny. There's a reason it exists and I see why people think it's rude but *gasp* I plan on having one because honestly I'm just gonna take back that gravy boat anyways. If honey funds are rude than registries in general are equally rude because presents cost money. Most people don't want to go pick out that overpriced gravyboat anyways. It may be new fangled but it's way less hassle for the many people I've known (myself included) who forgot a wedding present and ended up throwing a 50 dollar check in a card.

@Natalie

A registry is not a request for gifts. It is a list of items the couple plans to use and exists so that they don't get 4 blenders or purple sheets for their orange bedroom.

Pray tell exactly when you think registries were considered rude? My great aunt, who went to Smith in the 1920s, always used them to buy wedding gifts and never once had a bad thing to say. And believe you me, that woman had a lot of opinions about proper etiquette; men no longer wearing hats and women gloves was a huge deal to her.

No to HoneyFund ever

@kirackle, my mother told me that registries were considered rude when she got married (early 1970s), as it presumes the guest is getting you a gift. She's not against registries, just noted it when I asked her about setting up some sort of Honeyfund. I had talked it over with her as I also have a number of relatives with strong etiquette positions. I wasn't alive then or in the 1920s so I can't verify, but that's what she remembers from her own wedding and her friends' weddings.

Can agree to disagree, I just don't see much a difference between wishing for a Kitchenaid and wishing for a sunset cruise, and have a strong preference for receiving the latter.

I'd just put a tip cup on the altar or pass a collection plate during the cermony. Hey, if you want money, just be blatant about it.

To not.

If you don't want to register for gifts, don't register for anything. This includes a Honeyfund, auction off any at wedding, none of that! Family & friends will get the hint to give you a card instead.

I don't personally think honeyfunds are rude, but I think they are completely ridiculous. If I am a guest and I want to give you $100, then I want to give you $100! I don't want $5 of it to be lost to a fee to the company. That's just silly. If you do not have a registry, people will understand that you would like a cash gift if they are going to give you a gift.

I think the problem with honeyfunds is a lot of guests don't realize there is a fee associated with it and that you aren't getting the entire amount they gave you. I think it's also deceptive, as other people mentioned, since they are not actually buying the experience for you, and that the company just cuts you a check.

I agree with most of the PP's.

Nope.

But, this is your wedding and you know your guests better than I.

I you choose to do it, I suggest to be clear about any fees associated.

If you're interest in honeyfund the you might want to look more specifically into travel agents and potential honeymoon resorts. Honeymoon registries have become very popular so some travel agencies/resorts do them as well and that way you may be able to avoid fees! You also may have more options for what people can "gift" you on the registry

@celia... actually you're wrong about that. Our moms made the comments they wanted to WAY EARLY in our planning when we brought it up. We hadn't even made one yet let alone guests didn't even know. So no, they weren't relaying anything. My mom actually purchased a big chunk off ours in the end because she loved the idea after looking more into it!

Here's a more honeymoon registry friendly thread and discussion of honeyfunds in case you decide to go that route! for what it's worth, the Emily Post Institute, Martha Stewart and every other wedding guru is fine with honeyfunds. https://www.reddit.com/r/weddingplanning/comments/2mb0ps/my_wonderful_experience_with_honeyfundit_may/

Thanks for bringing back a zombie thread, @Sara.

No. Plain and simple. No.