To Honeyfund or not to Honeyfund?

Adults know how to put cash or a check in a card and call it a day. I did it for two weddings a couple weeks ago. It was simple and the couple got to keep 100% of the amount I gifted to them. If guests really want to give you something to use on your honeymoon, they will find a way!

Big fat NO!

don't do it

Nope.

Nope.

YES! I am pro honeyfund and we've actually had A LOT of positive feed back from our guests that they love having that as an option. No store gifts have been bought off our registries but there's been a handful of honeyfund ones purchased. It's only been our moms that have given us negative comments about it. You're not asking for money, you're asking for a gift of an experience for the two of you. It's the same thing as making a store registry and asking for gifts.. literally the same. The point of registries is to ask for things you want or need. If you want a couples massage on your honeymoon, you register for it. I purchase off a couples honeyfund over a store registry..every single time.

@KTK the problem with Honeyfund is you don't get the experience. They simply cut you a check minus the fees they deduct. So your guests think they are buying you an hour massage when they really are not. That is why we say they are no different than a guest putting cash or check in a card. You get the money and without a honeyfund, you get to keep 100% of the amount you were gifted.

@MandiG I guess that's where we are different, we will actually be using the GIFT from honeyfund towards the experience. Yes, I'm sure there's people that don't do that and just use the GIFT to whatever they want, but we will not be.

This post is not going to be popular, be forewarned (I already have my rock-blocking shield ready)

To a certain extent it depends on your guests. Some are horrified by it (per the commenters here), some don't have an opinion, and some actually like it. If you have a lot of people who are very traditional, they probably won't like the idea. It's also somewhat generational, most people I know in their 20s-30s love it. My personal view is that it's not that much different from a registry that says, "hey, buy me fancy dishes," and for an older adult couple can make more sense then getting extraneous stuff you don't need (even without a registry, people get you stuff). Registries also used to be considered very rude, but times changed.

We do have a Honeyfund, because similar to you we have everything we need and little space for extras (as it is we're storing things at our parents' homes). I did put a more general line item on there, but as best I can I tried to gear the "fund gifts" towards specific experiences, as I feel like that's more personal than just putting money in a pot. Are they technically buying us the experience? No, but we're treating the money as a gift certificate, will spend it for the intended purpose, and plan on communicating with the giver on how wonderful it was. If someone thinks it's offensive, they're more than welcome to not give a gift at all (frankly, this was my preference but was goaded into doing "something").

If you do wind up setting up a Honeyfund, you can avoid the fee by turning off the credit card option and leaving it as offline or "custom" with a PayPal instructions (payments to friends & family have no fee). This probably has some of you lighting projectiles on fire to throw at me along with the rocks, but I have a lot of friends who generally prefer online payments. If you don't like it, don't use it.

Agree with Natalie who says it depends on your guests. Especially if the reasoning is you have both lived separate and have almost two of everything. If you said you were dependent on a honeyfund for a honeymoon, I'd recommed you establish yourselves first, but it sounds like that's not the case. FH and I aren't registering at all but a lot of our guests asked if we had a honeyfund (friends and older family members alike). If you have a lot of traditional family members who might be slighted that they can't purchase a physical gift or will think it's offensive, don't register. If you have a lot of family members who you know understand your current living situations and are open to it, by all means do it.

FH and I just received a wedding invitation in the mail and they are registered for a honeyfund. We aren't offended nor do we think it's rude. We cut a check to avoid the fees and to include a fun card but it wasn't a terrible idea. The couple in question are extremely well off and have a huge, beautifully furnished home. They can afford their own vacations and they do several times a year. We'd love to be a part of treating them on their first vacation as husband and wife. And we're certainly not going to buy them random things they already have or don't need/want.

There are fees on the honeyfund site (part of the reason why we skipped paying through honeyfund). They take the fees from your guests so you don't quite receive the total amount so if you're okay with that, you're good. If your guests don't like the fact it takes a fee, they don't have to use it.

We did a Zola registry and have a few monetary funds for our honeymoon as well as other gifts. I didn't put the registry on the invites but if they go to our website - they can find it there. You can also opt to eat the fees yourself instead of the guests.

@Lissy she's not even new, she's been here for several months which is why a few of PP's (including myself) are confused how she's asking this

Don't set up a honeyfund. They take a fee. Just don't register and most will give cash/checks. Use the money as you see fit.

ETA-I'm personally not offended by a honeyfund or requests for cash. I would be happier to give a couple what they want/need vs wasting my time gift shopping.

I think you just get wedding themed deposit slips Hey, if you want money, just be right out there.

No honeyfund

Just don't do it. It's always rude.

No need for a fund.

.

I agree with the the minority. I love buying people experiences. I buy gift cards for every holiday. I give gift cards for showers and cash for weddings. I hate wrapping and schlepping a gift anywhere. I will pay the convenience fee for the convenience. Hallelujah for options like this for busy guests.

My sister had a "honey fund" cage at her wedding. She got a whopping $56 out of 230 guests. Why? Because it's rude and everyone agrees. I had guests tell me they were relived that I didn't do the same. Love my sister, but it was gross and tacky.

Kiss? I can tell you that your guests were not delighted, and your moms relayed what they thought but were too polite to say to your face.