To Elope or to have a Wedding?

Coming from someone who has lost their dad and stepdad, there are ways to honor him and still find a way to enjoy an actual wedding. Have a mother/daughter dance, or even ask your FIL to dance! I am carrying photos of both of my dads on my bouquet down the aisle, having a moment of silence for all we have lost, and then bypassing those dances at the reception.

I'm sorry to hear about your Papa. It sounds like he was very special to you. Do you have other people in your life you are close with? While its traditional for brides to share wedding moments with their father figure, those can also be shared with your mom, siblings, or other close family members who you feel were part of your upbringing. What about a microwedding or small destination wedding? You could keep your guest list small with just immediate family and do a shorter reception at a restaurant or small venue where you can skip some of the traditions like parent dances. That way FH's family gets to be part of his wedding but you don't have to feel like you are stuck trying to make those things work.

This decision should be made between you and your future spouse. What does he want? I know you mention not taking away the dance from him and his mom, but do you know if that dance is even important to him? It may not be, but having his parents and others at his wedding might be. But the only way you will know, is if you ask.