Tired of being told your too young?

Im not going thru this now because this is my 2nd marriage. I am now 40 but I also got married when I was 19 (almost 20)...and there wasnt anyone that could change my mind ...I thought I knew best of course. But there were many people angry with me and giving me stress. I planned a wedding for 500 guests pretty much on my own becasue of it. My husband and I did have three kids and we were married for almost 14yrs...but we separated at 10yrs....we realized we were just to young and we grew apart. But thats not to say what youre doing is wrong...like you said..only you know what your heart feels.

YES! And its freaking annoying as hell! I can understand my family's concern, especially since its more of an anti marriage thing instead of a young thing, Not to mention they don't really do it anymore, but for some reason it REALLY annoys me when strangers say it. I was taking a painting class last year and I was talking to a friend about weddings and some woman in my class as like "But your so young! You should think this through!" Hello! Who are you and why are you judging my life?

What annoys me is when his family is like "When are you having babys!" Call me traditional, but I would like to actually get married and be somewhat financially table before I start popping out kids...

People change and things don't always work out. This can happen when your 17, 23, 42, or 78! Age doesn't matter. Its your love now that matters, even if that changes you will always have this experience and its plain rude for people to judge your love because of their own life experiences.

Exactly the point I was trying to make Chelsey...LOL

I am 22 and my FH is 26. My family, though a bit shocked, is completely supportive, however his family uses the "But you're so young." excuse all the time. I have always wanted to get married at a younger age because I want to start my family while I am younger and able to keep up. We have been together for over 3 years and its a little over a year before we get married. It isn't like we met yesterday and are running to Vegas tomorrow.

As far as the children thing goes, don't try and "wait for the right time." It doesn't exist. I myself don't have children, and I know I am hoping the child-bearing experience holds off a little longer, but if it's going to happen, guess what...it's going to happen.

I say this, Congrats to you and your FH! The perfect time to get married is when your heart tells you to!

I'm not going thur this because of my age. I hear about it from people that talk to my FH as he is 10 yrs younger than I am. I just think it is because of the way most people see mariage now at days or because of thier own fears. Don't let what other people say about your age infulence you in anyway. I'm sure the two of you have talked everything thru and have committed to eachother. The fact is that not everyone grows apart just because they get married young. I for one would love to congratulate you and wish you the best of luck!!!!

Im 20 and my FH is 25 By the time our wedding day comes around i'll be 22 going on 23, and he'll be 27 going on 28. We got engaged only after seeing each other for only 2 1/2 months!! its crazy i know but we fell in love. We spent alot of time getting to know each other and just doing our own thing. we got engaged easter sunday and went almost a week without telling our familes and now that they know they asked are you sure, dont you think its a little early to be thinking like that. and other things like you dont have a job!! and are you crazy! But we love each other for who we are. i know im tired of people saying were too young. well basically im to young and hes only after one thing. but thats not the case, we havent given into temptation yet and we dont have a relationship built around it. Overall i myself am tired of being told IM to young to be thinking like this. Oh well there not me they have no idea whats going on. Dont let it get to you. You love each other no matter what.

You are telling me! jeeze. i'm 18. my fh is 23. (i'm turning 19 in less then a week!) but anyways.. everyone says "your so young!" but my mom got married when she was my age. and my dad is 10 years older then her! so my parents are supportive cuz they were here and they have been married for 22 years and are very happy. i'm not worried. people can think what they want.

I just turned 20 and fh will be 26 in december and everyone always says i'm too young and then they ask how old he is and i tell them and they are like omg! i get SO sick of it. it literally happens every single day! i'm so sick of hearing it! it's so annoying!

Yah I am 21 and he is 25..we have been dating for 4 years, living together for 3...

About the kids thing I was talking about... I want kids and I do plan on having them, but its annoying when I am still in the process of planning and I was 20 last time they mentioned it and they were like how come you havn't had babys yet!? It irates me because his cousin has two kids she can't afford, they are loosing their house and have no where to go, and that was happening before they intentionally had the second. I realize that a wish of being rich before I am pregnant is never going to happen but I don't want to be buying diapers while our electricity gets cut off either... So I believe that unless you can financial take of a child I don't think you should actively try and get pregnant. Of course, if it happens it happens. Hope I don't offend anyone, just wanted to say my 2 cents.

I will be 22 and my FH will be 23 when we get married.... we will have been dating for 5 and ahalf yeas on our wedding date! My family, i guess doesn't really realize how old i am, because they used to say "when are you 2 getting married" I used to have to remind them i'm 19, i'm 20... i have time lol. When I think about it, I sometimes feel like wow, i am young! but in my heart we are ready and we know each other so well and are ready to be together forever.

its all in your heart.

I'm 20 and my fiance is 22. I've noticed that the only people concerned about our age or how long we've been together (about a year and a half at this point, engaged for 7 months) are the people who don't know us or our relationship. Once people get to know us as a couple, those questions stop. The people who know you and know your relationship are the ones you should listen to. If all of them are raising red flags over it, maybe think it over, since they're the ones who you KNOW have your best interest at heart. Everyone else? Fuggedaboudit!

We've been dateing for 3 and 1/2 years now and people who are related but not really around us very much are continuing to ask if we are sure this is what we want. why don't u wait a little longer. both our parents are completely supportive. i'm just so tired of the "your too young" don't u want to live life a little. I AM living life OUR life lol. I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one going through this. I was 16 and he was 19 when we started dating. We use to talk it over all the time starting probably a year after being together and we finally decided after the 2nd year to get engaged.

I'm 18, he's 19. Trust me, I've heard that! His sister is 21, her fiancee is 24, and they're getting married in the fall. They're "just right" for the family.

Don't you just love how everyone is an expert at everyone ELSE'S lives? Lol. My mother was married when she was 18 and my dad was 22. They have been married 33 years this year. And my cousins who married after college are divorced. Age does NOT always matter. All that matters is what's in your heart. If you know this is your One, then go for it! Screw everyone else!

I can so relate. I'm 41, FH is 36. My third, his second. We dated for 2-3 months and he asked me to marry him. I'm getting the 'so soons" and the "take the time to get to know's" as well. We're both not working as the job market in our area is terrible! He does odd jobs when he can, and I live off my student loans and grants. I got married the first time at age 23. You have to do what you think is right. My daughter is 17 and engaged. MY only requirement was they complete 2 yrs of college...but of course, legally, when they turn 18 I can't stop them. So we both are getting the 'So soons' and the 'give it time'. Can be stressfull, but follow your heart..only you know what it's saying.

It sounds like there are a lot of other people going through this, too. One thing to think about: the younger people are when they get married, the greater the chances of the marriage failing. There are lots of statistics that support that. That tends to happen because when people are young they still have a lot of figuring themselves out to do, and a lot of people don't really know who they are or what they want out of life in their late teens, early twenties. It's almost as if at this age, people are changing life stages really rapidly and it can be hard to make sure a marriage keeps up.

What does that mean for you? Not much, except maybe this: expect your FH to change. Have him expect you to change. As you change, find ways to change WITH your partner instead of away from him. Recognize that these changes do not have to threaten your love or your marriage, but they will be trying at times.

I think this is your choice and NO ONE has the right to tell you what you should do or not do!!! SO NEXT TIME SOMEONE TELLS YOU THAT YOU ARE SO YOUNG! TELL THEM "I KNOW HUH? BUT ISN'T 20 THE SEXUAL PEAK FOR OUR GENERATION? AND I DON"T WANT TO MISS OUT ON IT???" LOL and you'll see that people will stop telling you that you are too young!!!!

Well I dont think I have ever really been told this except mty moms friend asked me if I was sure. Are you sure you love him and bla bla bla. We do have a daughter already and thats prob why they dont make an issue over the wedding because they have already drove me crazy about being a young mom. My experience with that has definitely made me realize that everyone has an opinion on EVERYTHING. IS it the right man? right venue? right lipstick? and anything else. Just take the opinions you care about and just nod to the rest. It isnt anyone elses life its yours and if you feel ready to be married then that isw your choice. No one knows what your life holds for you not even ourselves so take the opinions that matter. You arent 12 you know if you are ready or not. Age doesnt make you a better wife or in my case mother its about love, patience, responsibility and how mature you are not a number. Good luck girl and who cares what everyone else thinks!

View Quoted Comment Just curious, are you Christian? Did y'all pray together and center God in your relationship within the first marriage? I keep getting told that I shouldn’t marry too young by all of my family who isn’t Christian, but my boyfriends family who is (I am too) is all for getting married young, just seeing if there’s a correlation, thanks!

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How long have you known each other? Long enough to know how each other handles day to day situations? I don't think there is increased risk in marrying young. Just need to make sure you both have balanced lives -- not compulsive on anything.