Tipping on Wedding Day

I know this "don't tip owners" idea has been around for a long time. We own the business and routinely get tipped. At last Saturday's wedding, an envelope with $400 was left for us (yeah...we're THAT good, lol).

Usually if the vendor has gratuities added into the contract, I don't think you need to tip them.

As for the "you do not need to tip if they own the business", I don't want to not tip them. To me, I find that rude. Unless they do a really bad job.

You did mention your planning to send the company owners a separate gift as a thank you....that would be considered a tip/thank you for their services as well.

Yeah it's kind of weird to me, but we have such a strong relationship with the vendors who are business owners that we prefer to give them more meaningful gifts. Also, for example, our business relationship with our photographer and cinematographer will extend past the wedding night to make our final video, album, prints, etc.... so I feel like cash in an envelope that night is a little weird since we aren't done working with them. We know what their interests are, and will be sending them gifts post-wedding. But I really didn't know how else to divide the tips. In NJ most vendors have included the gratuity. I think the florist is the only one who didn't... but we won't be on site during the delivery, and I won't know how they came out until after we arrive at the reception venue. Do I just leave an envelope sealed for them? How do I guarantee it makes it back to the shop?

We tipped every vendor we used even if they owned their own business. I separated all the tips in envelopes, labeled them, and gave them to our DOC to hand out at the end of the night.

^^^And we love you for it, Mrs. Pope, lol.

The old, "don't tip the owner' thing doesn't really fly; if there is an issue, a price rise, any kind of money issue, the often the first one to take up the slack and the last one to pay themselves. You should tip anyone who goes over the top for you.

(And Elle, I'm in NJ too; besides limo drivers, I've never seen an automatically added gratuity; if I did, you can be sure I wouldn't be using that vendor...I find that practice really rude and tacky.Tips should be at your discretion, based on exceptional service.)

Usually, if your venue includes a 'gratuity' as a line item, you should ask if that is actually a tip or the way they disguise the staff salary.

Still, the best 'tip' is a detailed, well written review.

We tipped everyone regardless if they worked for a separate company or owned their own business. We gave everyone $200 cash except for our minister. Since he was only there for 30 minutes, we gave him $100.

As Celia said, "You should tip anyone who goes over the top for you."

Following--I'm really curious what "percentages" people figure. We will want to tip almost all of our providers except where hefty gratuity and fees have already been built into the cost.

Like in restaurant, I think 20% is a good number if they were really great.

I was just wondering about this this morning, especially for independent vendors (my MUA works independently, so the entire fee goes directly to her). I feel like I'll probably want to tip once I see what a good job she does, because I'll be super excited and thankful, but I was wondering if it's customary to tip someone who is independent. I guess she could technically be considered the owner of a one person business...

I don't think a percentage thing actually works in most situations. Here is my unofficial guide.

-waiters, bus people; 25-50 each. (BT's; entirely dependent on whether they are allowed to accept tips at the bar, which is almost always the case, tip jar or not)

-Maitre D; ask your venue. There is usually an expectation for them and the bridal attendant, if you have one.

-MUA/hair; 20%, mostly because that's kinda the norm and they probably came to you and got up at dawn to do so

-Photogs/video/djs; if they really went to the mat for you? 50-150.00

-anyone who delivers anything; 20.00

-floral setup; 100 ish

-officiants; a weird area.....if it's an independent who was fab, 50-200.00. Someone from a church/temple? Your best bet is to call the church/temple and ask what's customary

-limos; they usually have this built in, which I fucking hate.

-photobooth people; 50.00

-DOC's; for some reason, I think they should get a gift rather than a tip, and it's not logical, but it's me.....a gift card for a massage...a bottle of champagne, a box of fab chocolate....

(for anyone who really interacts with you to the point where you feel you know each other, an intuitive gift is much more wonderful than money. Really. One of my brides gave me a screaming cool hourglass with the reading we picked together engraved on it. That was five years ago, and it's been on my desk ever since.....)

And it goes without saying, a detailed, personal review is the best, best tip ever.

I am tipping everyone - they all provided services. The girl who i get my hair done by owns her own business - i still tip her

Really appreciate everyone's feedback. We have tips built into our budget, but I am also curious...

For my hair and makeup artist, I'll tip 20% the grand total for my entire bridal party. I think that's in line with the service industry for that field.

Photographer and cinematographer is tricky... we have second shooters for both... but a 20% tip for each would mean we would have to tip each far more than we can afford to tip since those were our splurges! A 5% tip is far more feasible... do we hand the main shooters their tip, and a separate envelope for the second shooters?

Lastly, for the florist, how would we deliver that? I would prefer not to leave an envelope on site because 1. I can't guarantee it will make it to them, even though we trust our venue... and 2. We won't even see the flowers until we arrive at the reception venue. So should we send something afterwards?

I want to make sure everyone is taken care of

SUPER helpful!

Celia- since you're also from Jersey you might be able to give me some advice. Our wedding venue already includes a 22% gratuity per person off the top, PLUS a suggested tip of 5% to the two Maitre D's we will have. Should we still tip each server and bartender?

@MrsPope--that's what we're doing, too. Our DJ owns the DJ/videography business and our florist owns her own business but we are tipping everybody--I'm not going to stress over whether I should or shouldn't. "YOU get a tip! And YOU get a tip! And YOU and YOU get tips! Tips for everybody!"

My MUA has an 18% built in, so I may tip $20 on top of that if she rocks my world. I'm also going to the salon the day of, so I'm not going to tip over that.

My officiant, I'm thinking a $50 or $100 tip and a handwritten thank you note, plus one of our favors.

Photog, also $50 tip and handwritten note/favor....and after we get the edited pictures back, maybe another $50 or $100.

We don't have a florist or DJ and we're not tipping the cake delivery guy (because nobody will be there, sorry dude) but we are tipping our cake BAKER, in advance.

I think that covers everyone. Our reception is at a restaurant and has gratuity built into it as well, but if they go out of their way that night, I'll toss some extra to the hostess or staff. We're pretty lowkey so we won't need much work from them...but who knows, maybe I'll have a guestzilla lol.