Throwing your own Bachelorette Party...opinions?

Your gut is correct - you should not throw your own Bachelorette party...

No, you do not throw your own Bach party, but you can have a night on the town with friends that you plan-just don't call it a Bach party.

Correct, you should not throw your own. If your friends really do want you to have one, I think it's fine to mention that you won't be planning your own. Maybe someone will take the reigns.

Ya Don't throw yourself a party. If no one steps up just skip it.

Aww I wish one of them one step up and throw you one!

Don't throw your own party.

I guess I kind of did. I didn't have a bridal party, so I organized a fun beach day with my girlfriends and sisters on the weekend before the wedding. It wasn't really a "bachelorette" though...we didn't even drink!

I think you can throw FW a party if she really wants one and no one is stepping up. But I get the cost factor. Maybe you can invite people and tell them the cost per person for the bus plus their own drinks and stripper money/club entrance/etc. You are not expected to pay for everyone's night out on the town. Generally you shouldn't plan your own. But also, it's a not shower where you are getting gifts, so you aren't looking gift grabby if no one is stepping up. There are plenty of brides that know they want to go to Disney or Vegas or NOLA or where ever, so they have to take some degree of control and make sure it happens.

People usually get confuse on the etiquette of this. No you don't throw your own bridal shower because it's a gift giving a event. A bach. party is different. It's not a gift giving event. It's pretty much a night on the town with your girls. There isn't anything wrong with planning your own bach party. But note if you plan it then you host it. You have to cover all the cost.

I wouldnt. The financial reason you listed is a good one!

If you want to plan a night out, just don't call it a bachelorette party, call it a girls night out. But I wouldn't go as far as renting a party bus, etc, by myself.

It is not ok to plan your own bachelorette party. Doesn't matter that it isn't a gift giving event!

@Katy - That's how I've been putting it..."We don't really have plans for it but it'd be nice to do a party bus or something."

@Tania - That's the flipside of why I think it may be okay, we wouldn't want gifts because honestly we don't even care about gifts for our wedding. Our whole goal in this is to celebrate our love and happiness with our friends. I think FW wants a Bach because it's kind of the "thing" to do. FW keeps picking out weird wedding traditions that she is SET on having. She is SET on having a head table despite all of my reasons not to do it...she is SET on us not seeing each other the night before, etc. In her mind, I think she is SET on having a Bachelorette Party but doesn't want to say it or spend the money on it. I like your idea of throwing her one since I don't really care about it.

@SweetBean - It's okay. I'm kind of used to it since I'm the one in the group who usually throws the parties for everyone else. Plus, like I said I could go either way, if it happens great, if not well okay.

Agree with the others, but have you tried hinting or mentioning it?

I only say this because my MOH has never stood up in a wedding before and had no idea what she is doing. She wants to do everything right, but she was really confused when I brought up the shower the other day. She said she's been wanting on me to tell her what to do. As in, she thought people planned these things and just delegated to their BMs what to do. So it could be something like that too.

Of course I feel the need to say I do not expect a shower, but my aunts want to throw me one and I just mentioned it to my MOH because I'm sure she wants to be involved.

If they want you to have one, they should offer to throw it. If you want to have a get together and just go out for drinks and celebrate with everyone, then go for it but I wouldn't expect anyone else to pay unless they offer to.

I agree with the others. I wouldn't throw my own bachelorette party.

I personally would not throw my own. If no one offers just move on. You can always plan a night out 'just because' and throw it out there like "hey we should do this, we should all pitch in to make this goodtime happen". Hope it all works out!

Skip it.

Do you have a wedding party? Talk to them. Decide what you guys would like to and ask if everyones in. They should be organizing something for you. It doesn't have to be expensive. Keep it simple. They can all pick up their own tabs. Go out to dinner, bar hop, whatever. Have your bride put on a little veil and everyone Mardi gra beads, lol. It's amaizing the # of ppl who will congratulate you, let you in free or even buy you a drink. Enjoy your moment! I hope it works out for you!

Eh, I think it's weird when people throw themselves any party where they are the guest of honor. It's not just about whether gifts will be involved.

I look at it this way: if I had a friend throw herself a birthday party, complete with invitations, birthday tiara, whatever, I'd roll my eyes at her big time. It's just something that feels incredibly AW-ish about doing that. But if I had a friend who sent out a text saying that Friday was her birthday and she'd love to go get some drinks with all of us, I wouldn't find that weird at all. Same thing with a bachelorette party. I don't think it's okay to throw yourself a legit bach party. But asking your friends if they wanted to go out for drinks to celebrate your upcoming marriage? Sure, that's totally fine. It's a subtle difference but one that kinda makes or breaks this for me.

I'm going to take a guess as to why your friends may be reluctant to throw a bachelorette. Since you said that nobody is volunteering to help with the cost of the party bus, I'm going to assume it's because they know how expensive renting a party bus can be. I have no idea how many friends you and FW have or whether or not you each have your own social groups, so it's impossible to know how big of a bus you'd need. In this area, a 20 passenger limo bus is $135/hour, a 28 passenger party bus is $165/hour, a 35 passenger party bus is $200/hour, and a 40 passenger party bus is $225/hour. If you rented the bus for five hours, the bill would be anywhere from $675 to $1,125 (and that's without tax and gratuity). I'm assuming you'll also want to have liquor on the bus, so that's another cost to consider.

Added to that is the money they will need to go to all of these clubs. Not only will your friends be covering their own tabs, but they'll be covering the expenses for both you and FW. That means alcohol and lap dances for two. I think some of them have done the math and are worried about the expense. These parties do tend to be expensive when all is said and done.

I don't really think this has anything to do with how much your friends care about you. I think it's about expense.