Three incidents that say Say Yes to Dress is a big, fat lie-- humorous wedding dress shopping weekend

Excellent reading! LOL.

I am a CFG (current fat girl)....street size 18/20. I was so apprehensive about shopping for a gown. When I was married in 1991, they literally clipped a size 6 dress to my clothing and had me "imagine" what it would look like.

I was lucky that I had a good experience at DB, had the crying and everything. I suggest Alfred Angelo as well. They have beautiful classy sophisticated gowns. I also suggest trying a different DB if you can.

I'm sure you will have your "moment". It might not be like anyone else's moment, but you'll know.

It sounds like we have a similar body type (except you're about 4 inches taller than me, so excuse me if my short girl complex comes out). The tube sock analogy is dead on, except for me it was with the mermaid style gowns. Dear lord it was like trying to put on pantyhose, like where you pull it up, then have to slowly scrunch it up from the bottom? Ball gowns were easier to put on for me, but I had a more substantial consultant who just like threw them over my head and pulled it down. Much easier.

What kills me about bridal sizing is how different they are. I guess that's true for all clothing brands, but seriously. I would put on a Maggie Sottero in a size 10 and not be able to get it over my damn hips, but the next dress I'd try would be a size 12 and I'd be swimming in it.

For the record, I also never had that "OMG OMG THIS IS IT I'M SO BEAUTIFUL" moment. Some other people at the second store I was at were like trying to get me to have "the moment" in a dress I tried on that I wasn't even crazy about. That's what I hate the most about SYTTD and other shows like that. It's a dress, people. Not everyone is going to get emotional about it.

@KarenM & @Gina - which DB in NJ did you go to?

I'm in NJ, and am planning to make an appointment at a DB in December.

Thanks!

Thank you so much for posting this. I have had almost identical situations. DB was my first experience and it was really great...i'm just to picky and got overwhelemed and stressed so no Yes for me there. The next place made me do my own work and they were highly unorganized, there was a screaming baby, 1 mirror so i had to parade down the hall and the consultant kept picking at her face. This weekend the consultants made me feel like the Fat Poor Bride and made me try on things "off the rack" but yet none of them fit so it was a waste of time...then they were pushy on the other ones that were in my budget but not what i wanted to spend.

I got so stressed this weekend I crawled in bed last night with my FH and bawled my eyes out. I too am a street size 10 but apparently a bridal size a million in there eyes.

I loved your story, I had a terrible experience with DB as well, in 3 trips in I was never assigned a consultant and no one ever offered to help me and I didn't try on one single dress there. I went to a smaller bridal store and they helped me and the consultant was at least nice to me. I love my dress but honestly I was going to get a dress that day no matter what because I didn't want to go to another store. Worst part of my wedding so far was the dress shopping. I hope you get your Say yes to the dress bridal moment, and if not I hope you find a dress that you love and makes you feel beautiful. Good Luck!!

You are a great writer. And "It might ruin the experience of our other shoppers" What did they mean by that? WTF?

I am a street size 16 and I only went to stores that carried those sizes. I called ahead to one designer shop to ask if they had those sizes and their response was "We only carry up to a size 12 and we have about 4 samples in that size but you should come in and look around and try things on and we can order them in your size." Um...why would I want to come into a store and try things on that are going to be WAY too small? That sounds like a disaster for my self esteem. Thanks but no thanks.

So... I went to a bridal salon in Scottsdale, AZ that came highly recommended (and receives many positive reviews.) Let's just say that, at 5'8" and a street size 12/14, I was not their "target client."

Every bridal coordinator in the place was teeny tiny. Seriously. Approximately size 2 and under. There were several with thighs approximately the same diameter as my wrist and waists smaller than my thigh. The little itty bitty one assigned to me actually said (in snotty mean-girl voice): "Oh. Well. We have some return/cancelled dresses on the sample rack that *might* fit someone 'of your size'... but we can order many things in the right size for 'bigger girls'". Overall, awful. NO THANK YOU. I will take my business to someone who is not so snotty...

I found a salon that had a larger variety of sizes. Ultimately, the dress I chose was in a sample size 8... but, as they were the main dealer for Maggie Sottero in the area, they were able to have a "borrowed" sample in a larger size shipped to the store for a $50 fee that I could apply to the final dress purchase if I bought my dress from them. It wasn't the most swanky salon on the planet but they were lovely to me through the whole process.

So... hang in there. You will find someplace that works for you. (And understands that brides come in ALL shapes and sizes.)

Which boutique in Scottsdale?!

Update: pending Say Yes to the Dress gets picked up for a 14th season, I'll be scheduled to film at Kleinfeld's in January.

I'm looking forward to hearing more from you on these forums....

MrsMorales, when is your book coming out? If you're not planning on writing one, you should! Your wedding tales are funny and refreshing. Something a lot of overwhelmed (or in your case underwhelmed) brides need in their lives. I hope you get on the show. Let us know. I'll watch for sure!

While I don't have a book, I do write a personal blog on weddings, dating, and now MY WEDDING which has gotten some popularity over the past couple years. Please feel free to check it out for a good reminder of why it's great to be NOT single and NOT in everyone's wedding but your own.

http://singlegirlineverybodysweddingworld.blogspot.com/?m=1

OK the stores sound super rude... BUT I laughed so hard at the way you wrote it, super entertaining to read! Hope you find your dress soon and yes, like you, I like to think about things before buying them and under no circumstances do I cry over a piece of damn fabric. Even whole-body-tube-sock fabric (I am gonna think of wedding dresses as tube socks from now on, hahahahaha)

Interesting Story indeed!! I agree with you that its not a sappy moment either. I never cried either. I'm also a Street size 10 and hated that I had to go up 2 or 3 sizes...

I went to one Bridal "sale" and absolutely nothing fit (they were all zip up gowns made for sticks), imagine trying on a size 14 gown that doesn't even zip up (not even close) when you're a good size 10... ugh so embarrasing i left that place.

"normal" bridal size 14's fit me like a glove... the irony...

My proportions are so off too I will def need alterations (esp the bust area, as I'm smaller up there )

I think it honestly just varies person to person. I didn't cry or have a huge "this is my dress moment" when I choose and bought my dress. However when it came in and we took it out to give it the once over it did hit me. I think I was just less stressed when it came in.

Also, you are one heck of a story teller! I was cracking up at my desk while reading these, but I seriously do hope your dress shopping experience gets better for you!

I'm sorry your dress shopping experience was so frustrating. It definitely gets more and more irritating not finding something you like and not having helpful sales associates on top of that. Just remember that every bride is different. My dress was the very first dress that I tried on (I tried on 8 dresses, but that first one was the one), but there are other brides who will try on over a hundred before they find their dress. Your dress is out there somewhere. You may just have to search a little more to find what you like. And you still have plenty of time! Good luck

I am also a SS 10 and you basically described all of my experience with the exception of one crazy consultant insisting I needed a dress size 16 that was so big it was actually rididuclous but don't worry they would fit it to my body with their $599 alterations package.

It really does depend on your experience and you as a person, your style, etc. I did find my dream dress in under 4 dresses at the place I ended up buying from. But it is not like that for everyone. I was just very lucky.

Sorry about your crappy experiences! It seems so hit or miss with bridal stores. The store I bought my dress from was FANTASTIC. I had scheduled an appointment there in the morning and at another store in the afternoon since I had bridesmaids coming in from several states and not all of them could make it to both appointments. I found my dress in the morning and told them I'd call back to order it in the afternoon if I definitely wanted it. Went to the other store in the afternoon and omg wtf. I'm pretty sure my attendant was in high school and when I described to her what I wanted (lace, fit and flare, some type of sleeve), she basically just said "ok well start looking around and pulling things." Uhh, I am looking at a sea of white taffeta. How about a little help? I put on three dresses and spent 25 minutes in there before walking out and ordering my dress from the morning's bridal shop.

Update: it just got much worse.

Went to a boutique in Scahumburg, IL. They had the smallest samples I've ever seen. Size 12...street size 4....swear to God. Consultant was like "wow, I would never have guessed you wouldn't fit in these samples, let's go across the hall to the bigger sized room".

So, now I'm in the very small plus size room swimming in plus sized dresses (I'm a street size 10-12).

The FFG (former fat girl) in me just sat down in my bra bs undies and cried in the dressing room. I worked so hard to be a "standard" size....and there I was again.

The bridal industry is so fucked up, I swear. No woman, no matter her size, should have to go to the back room to try dresses like they're some separate breed. Like seriously, I was livid and so upset not just for myself but for everyone else who's been made to feel this way unrightfully during what is suppose to be a really happy, exciting time.

And now I'm eating a cupcake. Because if I'm going to be told I'm fat constantly by bridal for the next year, I'm gonna be fat and happy eating a cupcake, god dammit.