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Jennifer
Savvy September 2022

Thoughts??

Jennifer, on October 21, 2021 at 1:45 PM

Posted in Family and Relationships 48

Hello I'm just curious on how anyone would feel if your fiance had a secret cellphone? I caught my fiance with a secret cellphone, for the second time and he swears he is not cheating but just wanted "privacy". It is totally not ok and he is trying to make me feel like it is my fault he had to go to...
Hello



I'm just curious on how anyone would feel if your fiance had a secret cellphone? I caught my fiance with a secret cellphone, for the second time and he swears he is not cheating but just wanted "privacy". It is totally not ok and he is trying to make me feel like it is my fault he had to go to such lengths to "be able to text whoever he wants " and that I have no right to know whom he texts. I was not able to look through the other cellphone bc he factory reset it. Yes i know its not healthy and that's a whole nother level of deciet but just curious on other women's thoughts and how you could ever trust them again. I was married for over thirteen years previously and never once had to "check up" on my partner, so this is just blowing my mind.

48 Comments

  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride
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    馃挴 percent!!! This guy does suck.
    The only reasons why I could think someone needs a secret cell phone is because 1) he has a secret family or lover, 2) drug dealer, 3) secret agent (but not likely because he鈥檇 probably warn you if he had a dangerous job鈥攎y friends married to a spouse in the FBI or CIA at least know where they work).

    Run. Don鈥檛 walk. Don鈥檛 engage in any conversation. Just leave. Leave a sticky note if you really want to.
    • Reply
  • C
    Just Said Yes April 2022
    Christine
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    Girl, I think you know what鈥檚 the right thing to do here. You feel it inside but need to hear it from others. I get it. I鈥檓 the same way. You don鈥檛 deserve this. Sending you lots of love and good thoughts. I know you鈥檙e getting to the point to have the strength to do what鈥檚 good for you.
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  • Amanda
    Savvy November 2021
    Amanda
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    Privacy from..? Are you one of those kinds of people who has to go through all his things because of an insecurity or something? If not, what does he need privacy from exactly?

    Red flag. I wouldn't be able to be with someone who has 'secrets' like that, specially if it's going down a path of marriage. I've been in way too many relationships that were insecure or jealous and, obviously, they didn't work out. Only reason you would ever need a second phone is.. probably for work.. and even then, it shouldn't even be a secret. If you can't be honest and trust your significant other, you really shouldn't get married. It probably won't last. Not only that, it's so much money to divorce if it ever comes down to that.. it's not just something you can say 'alright, i'm out of here' and leave it at that. He needs to change, or you both need to change, not sure what the situation is but.. work it out or leave it.

    I actually have a friend who is in a relationship with a guy who hides all his messages from her. She snooped one day to find that he was Snapchatting all these women.. the kinds you just find on the internet and they do things for money, whatever. She just cannot find it in her heart to get him out of her life and keeps giving him second chances. Now, he just hides all his crap better and she lives every day unsure and insecure about him and what he's doing. Not the kind of life anyone should live, everyone deserves to be happy and secure.

    Good luck!

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  • Alison
    Just Said Yes November 2021
    Alison
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    Sweetie, from experience TRUST YOUR GUT!! MY ex did the same things, he WAS doing things that he DEFINITLY should not be doing. He had no reason for a 2nd cell phone, nor to start keeping secrets like that. Your partner should be able to be honest and open with you, and vice versa. You should never be made to feel that something is your fault--this is mental abusive behavior. my soon to be mother in law is the same, guilts you to feel bad even though it is her insecurities that she portrays on to others. This person is not being proactive or healthy for you. Dont do as I did and marry someone when your GUT says NO!! I was then trapped with no vehicle or way to escape!! I had to find an outside source to get me free and away!!

    Girl I dont know your full situation, but talk with people you trust and make a plan to leave that toxic situation, sooner than later!

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  • J
    Just Said Yes October 2022
    Jillian
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    So not right!!! Secret cell phone is messed up but making it seem like you're the problem?? Absolutely not! Get rid of him! I'm so sorry.
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  • Stefanie
    Devoted May 2022
    Stefanie
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    First of all I鈥檓 sorry you have to go through this. What is his reasoning of having a second phone? Is it for work? I wouldn鈥檛 be ok with a 2nd personal phone. It would be a red flag for me.
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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal
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    I love this.... Just in case he is ACTUALLY a secret agent.... lol! A dear friend was married to an undercover DEA agent, she didn't know details, but knew enough to know that if they were out and he asked if she "needed to go to the ladies room," she needed to move ASAP as some serious stuff was about to hit the fan. OP, I'd stake my life that your good-for-nothing boyfriend is NOT a secret agent, which only leaves secret lover/family or drug dealer, so get out and don't ever look back! Good luck! Smiley heart

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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride
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    Lol, right?! It made me laugh when I wrote it. 馃槅 This guy is definitely no secret agent.


    One of my friend鈥檚 hubby was in CIA. She didn鈥檛 know what he did or where he went but she could tell how he鈥檇 be gone by what he鈥檚 pack (with that kind of eye, SHE should have been in the CIA).
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