Thoughts on social media blackout

You could ask that people not mention you and FH in their posts from your wedding, but allow them to still post pictures of themselves or your other guests. But a total blackout will be difficult to achieve.

I totally get what you mean and would be uncomfortable with people posting photos of me without my knowledge. We're only inviting immediate family to our DW so I don't think that'll be a problem.

I think you could request that people don't post photos of you and your FH. Of course they can post photos of themselves all dressed up or of other wedding guests but I get the idea that's not really what you're worried about right?

If you don’t want guests posting to social media either don’t invite ANY guests, or don’t invite any guests with social media who have you in their lists. Problem solved.

A cousin of mine had a social media blackout wedding. The details card that came with the invitation was harsh worded and really turned a lot of people off. Most people want to share a moment they are proud of and were told "If you cannot respect our privacy, please decline this invite". They did not allow cameras other than their photographer and if your cell phone was out, their DOC asked you delete the photo in front of them - I am not kidding. The guest sitting next to us had to do it.

So, if done right, why not.. it is your wish. & if your wedding is smaller it may be easier to monitor. But if it is like said wedding - nooooooooo.

"Once something is posted online you lose all control of who sees it/ how it is shared. The thought that one of the most intimate day of my lives could be "public" makes me uncomfortable. "

This almost makes me laugh.

Almost- except I realize you're dead serious about it. And then I get uncomfortable because the only type of people I know who actively avoid ANY digital foot print are paranoid people- and quite frankly people I don't want to be around for safety reasons.

If you are that serious about not having any "digital foot print"- go have a ceremony with your mom and dad and siblings- and your FH's mom and dad and siblings. You're far more likely to get away with asking 6 people not to take pictures than a whole guest list.

honestly I think it's naïve to live in this world with a goal of no digital foot print- you're not that important. I can promise you- no one cares about you- or any digital foot print that you might leave. Not being rude- just telling you the likely hood of it mattering at all is pretty much negligible.

You absolutely cannot control what other people post on social media. All you can do is reset your privacy settings so that anything you're tagged in needs to be approved by you. If you don't want evidence of any part of your wedding on social media, don't invite any guests.

"honestly I think it's naïve to live in this world with a goal of no digital foot print- you're not that important. I can promise you- no one cares about you- or any digital foot print that you might leave. Not being rude- just telling you the likely hood of it mattering at all is pretty much negligible." - JoRocka

100 X yes.

Sos0033 - yeah , I thought the same thing... like, do you know what TACKY means?

@Elayna wow. They might as well have put an NDA in with the invite too

Of course you're not going to not have a digital footprint - otherwise we wouldn't be on this forum at all - but there's a difference between that and posting 100000 photos of yourself on social media. If that's what you want to do, that's fine, but I think it's also fine to request that your guests DON'T post photos of you if that's something you don't want. Just because you own a smartphone it doesn't automatically give you the right to take photos of people and upload them onto the internet.

You know Facebook owns all the photos you upload, right? I actually don't want a private company (or any company) to be able to identify my face, just because I posted a lot of photos online. I was pretty naive when I was younger and posted and posted but this really is stuff that is online _forever_ and you can NEVER know where it goes or who has access to it.

It's not about not wanting to leave a digital footprint because I (or OP) is important, it's about not wanting to leave one to give companies like facebook and google even more power than they already have. If a product is free, you're the product.

I did a social media blackout for my bridal luncheon. It was small and I didn't want anyone to feel left out. They all respected it

OP - Sorry you're getting blasted on this. I completely agree with you. I have a very public facing job and I've struggled with how to loosen up control over what gets posted about me and my FH at our wedding.

PP - Guys, come on. You don't know this woman. I can think of a million different reasons she might want this. Maybe she's a politician having a lavish wedding and doesn't want the backlash. Maybe she escaped an abusive relationship and lives in fear of someone. Maybe she's in the witness protection program (somewhat kidding here).

Point is, you don't know.

Old peoples privacy settings?

hahahahaha What in the world???

Do they have like FBI leaked data that I don't know of?

Personally I'm asking for no photos of me to be posted at least before I do. I don't think you can stop other posts reasonably

I haven't read all the comments yet but have to say that once you invite people, it's "public". If you want top secret then don't invite anyone to come.

Ladies, thank you so much for your advice! Really appreciate it.

To be honest, I don't think I should have to provide my reasoning- because that implies that certain reasons are better than others, or more valid. It seems that curiosity is getting the best of many of you (and your manners). Drawing parallels between an etiquette question vs the iron curtain is a bit much, no?

I would also venture to say that the ones who are vehemently against this post aren't old enough to remember when you could go to a party/ event and not have it posted for the world (and potential employers/ clients/ community members) to see.

And let's be truly real here- if one of the reasons that I was hiding from an abusive ex, or was a public figure, or Celebrities were coming- could we agree that perhaps that isn't something that any one would feel blasting to a semi-anonymous forum?!

And btw- i only need permission from my FH on Mon & Weds- for those so concerned about him "not allowing" us to elope. it's his day too!!

Why not let people be excited for your wedding and post about it??

If you want an unplugged ceremony, sure. But asking them not to post at all? I think that's rude tbh

I think the most you could really ask is for an unplugged wedding ceremony. That would reduce the number of photos taken during your ceremony, but won't guarantee that there won't be someone who doesn't take or post them.

Change your settings on your fb so that you have to approve photos before they get posted to your wall and you are tagged in them.

Anyway I think this is perfectly reasonable to want this and I have no idea why OP has been criticised here for suggesting it. I think it’s rude when guests post photos of other people’s wedding before the couple have. The couple should be allowed to post the first pics to announce their marriage if they desire to.