Thoughts on social media blackout

In this day and age, you can request, but don't expect it to happen. People post things about themselves, what they are doing and where they are at all the time. If someone wants to post a selfie of themselves and their SO while dressed for a wedding, they will.

You can't control what people post. All you can do is set your FB privacy that requires you to approve posts you are tagged in before they show up on your wall.

I'm asking people to not take photos during the ceremony and to not post pictures of FH and I until we do, but I know it'll happen anyway. People will probably follow the "no phones" but I always see wedding posts on social media before dinner is even finished at the reception. I don't think it's possible to have a full blackout honestly

You really can't dictate what people post on their social media. You can ask that they refrain from taking photos or using their phones during your wedding, but that's about it.

I think it's completely okay to request an unplugged ceremony. However you cannot control what people post. You can untag yourself but these people are adults and you don't get to control their phones.

We're having someone record the ceremony to live stream for his family in Germany that can't come to the wedding.

@Kristin, I've already had those 3rd cousins and acquaintances ask for the invite

@fall bride - I can't elope FH won't allow it.

Once something is posted online you lose all control of who sees it/ how it is shared. The thought that one of the most intimate day of my lives could be "public" makes me uncomfortable.

I like the idea of the privacy settings on FB for my wall posts!

Who cares if family members who where not invited see your pictures it's up to you who you invite to your day and if they have a problem and say something just say your budget only allowed for what you had. No need for fear of what people think. However I would avoid facebook post about your wedding as much as possible ie what flavor cake should I pick.

@Sara, no worries about that! I'm so keeping stuff on the DL for my wedding that my colleagues had no idea I'm getting married in 3 months

You can totally request an unplugged ceremony. But you're never going to get everyone to stay off social media for the whole wedding/not post pictures afterward.

You can request it. You can also call each person ahead of the wedding, explain your position and request they not post or mention they are there. I have a friend that does not do social media in general (even during group outings) so we know for her wedding not to post.

You can't tell people what to do on their social media pages.

I think it's okay to ask for an unplugged ceremony but really a marriage is public record anyway so people can easily find out if they want to.

You can ask people not to post pictures of the bride and groom to social media but anything else is OTT and you can't really tell people what to do

'Don't trust the old people's privacy settings'?

Ageist much? A lot of seniors are very computer savvy, and lots aren't fans of being called 'old people'

Thank god I am not invited to your wedding. I m not sure I'd be happy if someone told me what to do.

I guess I'm a little confused what the purpose of you wanting privacy is. So the 3rd cousins/acquaintances don't realize they weren't invited?? So if you ever see or talk to these people again are you not going to mention you got married? They're going to realize at some point, and they'll just have to get over it. I could understand the desire for privacy better if there were a situation like an abusive ex that you didn't want inadvertently finding out about the wedding, or something.

I agree with PPs that asking for an unplugged ceremony, and to not post any photos of you or FH is reasonable, but unfortunately you have to expect that at least one person won't listen. Asking them to not post about the wedding at all is going a little far.

@Tamara's comment was not tacky. I'm not even sure you know what that word means. Like someone else said, what are you gonna do, hide the fact that you're married forever? Eventually people will realize you got married and they weren't invited. Your wedding isn't the social event of the century. People will get over it (if they even cared that much to begin with...)

@Op - a picture of you getting married on the internet is a lot difference then a photo of you doing a keg stand in college.

I get wanting to have some control over your online life and being aware of your digital footprint. However I think you're being a little dramatic about this. It's a wedding and people are going to be excited and want to post pictures.

Have a unplugged ceremony. Reset your privacy settings so you can approve tagged post and photos and then just let it go.

Your wedding stopped being "intimate" when you invited guests. Your FH "won't allow" you to elope? That's kind of a red flag.

Are you worried that people will be offended that they weren't invited? They will realize you're married the next time you see them. If you rarely see them, then they aren't close enough for you to worry about.

Are you worried that a potential employer will see these photos? A former stalker? Aliens from Mars? If you're that concerned about privacy, why do you even have social media accounts?