This wedding planning family drama has me stressed and crying myself to sleep

Oh happy times...my boyfriend now fiance have been together for 7 years and we are finally getting married. We put our wedding on the "fast track" and just wanted a small intimate ceremony and a reception at a bar with close friends. We decided to do this all in 4 months, however again we wanted to keep it small and also were prepared to fund the wedding as my family has had a lot of stress the past year (my parents married 20 years got divorced, my oldest sister has ended up incarcerated, and my middle sister unfortunately lost her fiance/boyfriend of 12 years). Well....my dad, being my dad, (always being there and offering to help financially) was so excited to hear that one of his daughters was getting married that he took it upon himself to fund the entire wedding. Not only, but he pretty much took over and started suggesting things me and my FH weren't interested in as we wanted a small intimate ceremony. Long story short, two months later, after thousands have already been spent on a catering service, DJ, expensive venue, too many flowers , centerpieces and other things me and my FH weren't interested in but just were laid back and let him do what he wanted (with our input) because it's his money and I the bride realize that I am the first of 3 girls to be getting married. I wanted to let my dad have his day. He reassured me that the money was coming from the house he recently sold, and told me to not worry about the money.
Welll.....
Sunday we had A BIG ARGUMENT.
He told me a whole bunch of hurtful things such as how I will look tacky in a ballgown and tennis shoes, and I will be too formal against my FH and wedding party whom are also wearing semi formal dress with Van's sneakers...and then he proceeded to remind me that he is going on vacation in one month and he now might have to cancel the vacation because of the cost of the wedding.
My mom has offered to help financially but we aren't close and I don't want to involve her...she is highly opinionated and will add to the stress.
My question is do I tell my dad that he hurt my feelings by all the things he said, and confront him by reminding him that this big wedding was his idea, or just let it be and try to forget about it? I went from feeling like daddy's special little girl to now having a huge amount of guilt attached to my wedding. Please help!!!!