This is something that has kept me up at night so please no hate.

I don't think there would be any problem inviting just her and not the kids if that's the route you want to take. My FH and I get invited to events just us, including a wedding in a couple of months, and I would never dream of complaining or even asking why my kids aren't invited. The unvaccinated issue I won't even comment on because I could go on and on... Protecting the health of your family and friends is far more important than someone else's beliefs whether it is because of fabricated science or religious reasons, it really doesn't matter.

Honestly, I wouldn't extend an invite at all. It really shocks me that people have the nerve to ask why they aren't invited, but I guess we'll see if I have that issue when the wedding gets closer since we kept the guest list small. She's your neighbor, so obviously she's someone you will inevitably see and I'm guessing don't want to cause issues with, so I would just give a vague budget/venue excuse if I was asked rather than go into the anti-vax issue. I really focused on the quality of our relationship with people when deciding whether or not to invite them. My FH has gotten close to our neighbors over the last year and asked about inviting them to the wedding, but I have cut friends I've known for 7+ years to keep our guest list small, so unless we become BFFs in the next 8 months I'm not adding them to our slowly growing list that recently jumped from 53 to 65 with people FH "forgot" to include.

Try not to overthink this and stress yourself out about it (easier said than done, I know)!

I agree I would invite her and if shes married I would give a plus +1. Having her kids there would be too much of a risk.

If you're definitely sending her an invite, stick to your guns and let her know that she needs to get a babysitter. I would not risk the health of other friends and family because one mother doesn't vaccinate. You'll likely have to have a conversation with her as to why, but she may already know. I'd focus on the immune compromised/chemo therapy and turn it into a health concern over a friend one. Sure, she may be upset, but better than saying her kids are brats.. wishful thinking, but it may be a wake-up call for her.

I think you can go two ways on this. Not invite her, and if she questions it just tell her it's a budget thing(like someone else said), or you can invite her and not her children. Although you have children at your wedding, it seems like most of the children that are coming are family and that's understandable. I don't think you are obligated to invite her at all, or her children.

Bad behavior and not vaccinated? Goodness. Don't invite. And if you're the straightforward type who doesn't mind when people get upset after something you've told them, tell her straight up (if she asks) that you are not invited because your children are not vaccinated. Harsh, but that is literally today's reality. If she made the decision not to vaccinate, then she had to have thought through all the things she would not be able to do, attend, etc.

This. If there are immuno-compromised guests I wouldn't even take the chance because if her children are unvaccinated, she could still carry a communicable disease.

I think it's awesome that you are prioritizing the health, safety, and well-being of your guests. The most responsible thing you can do to protect those people is not invite her, unfortunately.

Personally, I would try to avoid inviting her all together. However if you absolutely feel the need to, tell her it is an adults only affair and let that be that. If she asks why other children are going, say it is only children of family. You do not need to explain yourself girl!

She's a neighbor. You can leave her off the guest list. She would be quite offended if she came to the wedding without her kids only to find out other kids were there.

Don't invite her and if she asks tell her you have some medically fragile folks there and you are not comfortable with her unvaccinated kids there.

Do not defend yourself.

People who not vaccinate their kids get on my last nerve, lol.