Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Beginner August 2020

They picked the same wedding date as me

Cassie, on November 8, 2019 at 4:46 PM Posted in Planning 0 20

Saved

Flag
Hide content

So my fiancé and I got engaged in June and one week later we picked out venue and set our date for August 8, 2020.

Well in September, my family friend and his girlfriend got engaged. Fast forward, my mom spoke with his mom about my concerns for them picking the same wedding date after his fiancés mom ask a million questions about my wedding. By this point I already had my date, venue and photographer/videographer booked. I was told they wouldn't pick the same date as me.......

Well just last week I found out they did indeed pick the same date as me, knowing well that I was getting married on that day.

Do I have the right to be upset??? I was told they wouldn't pick it, but then they did! I find it so rude and disrespectful of them. Now my family friends won't be at my wedding and I'm worried about others that overlap.

Flag
Hide content

20 Comments

Latest activity by Jennifer, on November 11, 2019 at 2:15 PM

Master September 2019
Sarah · on November 8, 2019 at 4:47 PM
Flag

Hide content
How many guests overlap? I mean, I can understand being upset and you’re entitled to your feelings but if they’re looking to get married next summer, it’s possible that the venue they love didn’t have any other dates available.
- Reply
Beginner August 2020
Cassie · on November 8, 2019 at 4:50 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I spoke with his fiance because I was confused and they said it was between the 8th and 22nd. They said they picked the with because it worked better for HER family. Totally undermining the grooms family, as they were going to come to my wedding. And about 10 people overlap
- Reply
Master September 2019
Sarah · on November 8, 2019 at 4:56 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
But if it was between her family not being able to attend at all and the groom’s family just having to miss your wedding, I think they made the right call.
- Reply
Beginner August 2020
Cassie · on November 8, 2019 at 5:00 PM
Flag

Hide content
It wasn't that her family wouldnt be able to come at all. Her family lives in the area. It was more about convenience. Idk I guess it is hard to explain if you dont know her mom. All of my friends know her mom and think her mom made her pick the same date as me for competition because her mom is extremely competitive
- Reply
Devoted August 2020
Rose · on November 8, 2019 at 9:29 PM
Flag

Hide content
Two of my friends are getting married on the same day. They didn’t realize it until it was too late. Couple A has family that works with couple b. The groomsman in couples A wedding is engaged to bridesmaid in couples b wedding. There’s about 25 people who over lap each of these weddings. If they can make it work I’m sure you and the family friend can make it work. Just focus on your wedding and be happy for them.
- Reply
Beginner August 2020
Cassie · on November 8, 2019 at 11:00 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
But isn't it different if they set their date knowing that it is the same day as my wedding? It wasn't an accident
- Reply
Devoted August 2020
Rose · on November 8, 2019 at 11:04 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
So say they did. Being angry or upset won’t change their date. There’s nothing you can do about someone else’s actions except how you react to it. You have 10,000 other things to worry about with your wedding. Don’t upset yourself more. If they did it intentionally that’s really crappy to do but you can’t change it. I’m sorry that happened, but it could always be worse.
- Reply
Dedicated October 2020
Rebecca · on November 8, 2019 at 11:07 PM
Flag

Hide content
I think you have a right to be upset. What they did was shi-tty. Obviously don’t let it ruin your wedding planning fun and the day itself but you have a right to be upset about it.
- Reply
Beginner August 2020
Cassie · on November 8, 2019 at 11:36 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Thank you for agreeing
- Reply
VIP September 2020
Willow · on November 9, 2019 at 1:12 AM
Flag

Hide content
In fairness, double digit dates (8/8, 10/10, etc) are super popular. It may have been a venue availability thing. They may be trying to upstage you. Maybe they forgot. Who knows.

Bottom line is, you can't do anything about it. Being mad won't change their date. Just enjoy your own wedding. A 10 guest overlap is not huge.
- Reply
Beginner August 2020
Cassie · on November 9, 2019 at 1:14 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Well she told me she knew when I was getting married. And 10 people might not be alot but when they are really close to my family it is sad to think about them not being there on my big day
- Reply
Dedicated June 2020
Yvana · on November 9, 2019 at 3:26 AM
Flag

Hide content
I think what they did was messed up... even though I dont know them according to your original post they chose the same date as you AFTER they were told all the information for your wedding. I would be upset too! Is there anyway you could call your venue and photographer/videographer to change the wedding date? Maybe you could choose a week before or after 08/08 (by the way my birthday is 08/09 😉). If I were you I would see if my date could be changed and I wouldn't tell them anything else about the wedding until the very last minute.
- Reply
Beginner August 2020
Cassie · on November 9, 2019 at 3:37 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I would expect our photographs and venue are booked the 9th. Plus I have family in the Marines that have to leave on the 9th
- Reply
Master December 2019
Courtney · on November 10, 2019 at 4:01 PM
Flag

Hide content
I'm a little annoyed with my cousin's fiancee has she picked the week right after ours. They live in a different city and now a few of our shared family members aren't coming to my wedding because they can't afford to do both.
My FH and I were engaged and sent out STDs at least 4 moths before he even proposed to his FW.
It was the same deal as yours- her family completely steamrolled over him when it came to wedding plans. My cousin and aunt tried to appeal to reason with their future in-laws stating that some family members can't do 2 weddings in 2 cities a week apart.
Nope.... the princess got what she wanted....
- Reply
Beginner August 2020
Cassie · on November 10, 2019 at 4:02 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Ugh, I'm so sorry! That's so crappy!
- Reply
Master December 2019
Courtney · on November 10, 2019 at 4:04 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

It's fine, only 4 shared family members can't make it to our wedding. I was really hoping to have all of my cousins together on my big day. We're scattered across the country so getting us all together is a feat.
- Reply
Beginner August 2020
Cassie · on November 10, 2019 at 4:06 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I totally get that!
- Reply
VIP August 2021
Jennifer · on November 11, 2019 at 2:13 PM
Flag

Hide content
If you are concerned about overlap, I would send your save the dates earlier. That way if the overlap guests get one for both weddings, they got yours first! That may just be the petty side of me coming out though lol!
- Reply
Beginner August 2020
Cassie · on November 11, 2019 at 2:14 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
No, that is a great idea!!! Thank you!
- Reply