The Wedding Night

Oh, you picked an interesting topic to jump back in with.

If you've never had sex, it will be awkward and weird the first time. It just will. The movies make it look like every time should be a porno. Don't let that be your frame of reference.

And don't have sex just for the sake of doing it. If waiting is important to you, awesome! The most important thing is communicating with your partner about what the experience will be like and what your expectations (both yours and his) are for the wedding night. ETA: I forgot to mention, looooots of couples are so tired after their wedding they don't even try, they just pass out. I fully expect zero hanky panky on our wedding night.

Awww... well, without getting too personal, if you want to wait for your wedding night (which at this point, I think would be pretty neat!) you can still (ahem) play around a lot more before then and get a bit more comfortable with each other

I think it will be precious! Talk about your feelings about that night and keep an open dialogue

I'm not in your same position so I can't offer any advice, other than everyone I know had an awkward first time whether they loved the person or not. Don't blow it up to be some huge thing with expectations of magic and perfection or you'll be sorely disappointed (pun intended). Just relax, enjoy yourself, and make sure you have plenty of lube (the water-based kind...doesn't last as long but oil-based is STICKY).

Seriously, buy lube.

That is awesome! Not that my opinion matters on this topic at all, but I think you should wait until your wedding night! Its so rare now-a-days for people to do this!

Remember when I told you to just hang out? This isn't doing that.

I definitely agree with waiting you have gone this long go all the way.

Hahahahah Cats

Catsbonincats- Yes I remember, but that was also because I had terrible ideas, and caused an uproar. Why would this topic do that?

Fowler, it's not about the topic. It's about giving everybody time to forget about your other post.

Ya definitely talk about ALL expectations and thoughts about the big night! Be prepared that it may hurt and may also be awkward. But if you guys get pretty frisky in the months leading up to the wedding, it shouldn't be all that awkward hehe

I would agree with those saying to wait- you've made it this far. I'm definitely not in the same situation, and I highly doubt FH and I will do the deed that night after such a crazy day. So, I'd say just see how it goes.

Oh yeah FutureMrsKristenS makes a great point---if it doesn't happen the night of your wedding, don't feel badly. Almost all of my married friends disclosed that they didn't have sex on their wedding night, they were too damn tired lol. I know my FH and I won't be worried about it one way or another--either it does or doesn't.

OP I would say wait. Yes it will be awkward and last 2 seconds but it will be special you will be one of few who waited it out. HOWEVER, if you want to know what your doing and be able to have good sex on your honeymoon you should start now. Its all about what is the most important to you.

It will be awkward the first time,everyone is.... just be open and hopefully you can look back on the situation and giggle

I agree with what everyone is saying about not having expectations of it being grand and romantic and movie-esque....it wont be. it will be awkward and you will be hella nervous. the most important thing is to be relaxed and to communicate about it beforehand.

also agree with PPs saying to not put too much pressure on yourselves to have sex that night. As of now, my post-wedding plans involve the jacuzzi tub in my hotel suite and a takeout box of leftovers

Go pee after.

I was a little nervous but not much really. We were comfortable with each other, loved each other, were happy with having waited, and I knew that even if it was awkward, we had plenty of time to get comfortable with it on our honeymoon! Relax and don't have grand expectations and it'll be fine.

I agree with OPs not to put too much pressure or build up on this night. Yes, its the first time but the first of many times! Remember that you will both get better with practice There will be awkwardness - give yourselves permission to laugh and not try to be too serious/sexy/romantic! Real life sex is nothing like porn or the movies. Definitely buy lube, haha. It will help significantly. Don't expect to have an orgasm, and don't expect it to last very long if its his first time. I also think it will help to talk to your FH about it openly and honestly leading up to your wedding, so that neither of you has unrealistic expectations. Best wishes!

ETA: @Mrs.Faith is right. Pee after. Also, if he isn't going to wear a condom - keep in mind what goes up must come down. The second you get up all of it will be eveerrrryyywhere. Gross! So if he isn't going to wear a condom, definitely keep tissues or a towel within arms reach lol.

Mrs.faith has good advice----genuinely good advice.

sex with a new partner is clumsy and I don't want to have any expectations of grand romance. it's entirely up to you and fh if and how long you wait---just be sure to keep the communication open and honest.

and yes, to pee after sex.

ETA: phone thought my paragraphs were optional

Wow! Good for you, that's crazy. I lost mine at 15 (with DF!) The first time is most likely going to hurt and probably not feel too great. It took 3x for it not to really be painful for me