The shower and the wedding, has color ever been an issue for you?

Our friend "John" attended our wedding with his then fiancee "Amber" and she wore a dress most the exact shade of our bridesmaids dresses. John's ex "Sarah" is one of my husband's best friend so she was the groomswoman in our wedding and wore the same dress as the bridesmaids. Amber felt really uncomfortable because she was in the same color as John's ex. Not sure how she didn't realize red was one our wedding colors. Our invitations and wedding website we black, white and red so we thought it was pretty obvious red was one of our colors. Fast forward two weeks after our wedding, John and Amber broke up. John had a car loan that Sarah co-signed with him when they were a couple and John wanted to sell the car so he needed Sarah's permission. They met up just to talk and they ended up talking for 3 hours. Amber was convinced he cheated on her and ended their engagement. Later it turned out, Amber was cheating on him for over a year. Sarah and John got back together about two months after our wedding.

I've never had this issue and, as a bride, couldn't have cared less what anyone wore to my shower or wedding. I think it's tacky to request that your guests wear specific colors (or prints) for a shower. I'm also not a fan of the bride wearing white to every single pre-wedding event. We had a fall wedding and our colors were burgundy and navy, so it would have been ridiculous for me to tell guests that they couldn't wear either of those colors.

Lots of people wore the color of the bridesmaids dresses to our wedding. It was a pretty color! I really wouldn’t get too stressed about. Looking back at our pictures it’s funny because so many of my friends that weren’t in the bridal party actually coordinate with it. The only color you can usually count on people avoiding is white.

I’m with you on not caring if people “match” the colors of a wedding or not. I’ve been telling guests it’s dressy attire, so no sweatpants or flip flops 😉 I was so surprised when I went to a wedding where the entire bride side family wore different shades of the wedding color (purple purple everywhere!) even the grandpas and uncles wore purple suits. I had never seen that before and asked my mom afterwards if that is a common thing and she just chalked it up to different people having different wedding traditions depending on where they are from. 🤷‍♀️

Oh girl, I wouldn’t worry about that. There’s so many other details worth your attention. I will say the only thing color-related I’ve been concerned about was my sisters dress, who is my only bridesmaid/matron of honor.


My focus as far as color goes is on portraits and what will be photographed, most of the guests won’t end up in pictures anyway, so I wouldn’t worry about it or have them stress about it too much

View Quoted Comment Thank you Caytlyn, wow I love your colors: burgundy and navy. Gorgeous!


Yeah I never heard of the organized shower attire before, I’ve been to quiet a few baby showers and never ran across a dress code.

You make me feel a bit better so thank you for your comment!!!

View Quoted Comment Thank you Courtney! I appreciate your comment. That is true about the photos! I wasn’t in a single one of their wedding photos.


Thank you for making me a feel better!

View Quoted Comment Kimberly, that sounds really interesting with the wedding with all the different shades of purple!


I am glad we are on same page! Thank you!

View Quoted Comment Thank you Leanne! Yes so many other details to think of!
Best of luck with all wedding festivities!

Yeah, it was pretty rude of the bridal party to insist on a dress code for the shower to begin with. I have never seen that. Also, unless someone gets the exact same dress as the bridesmaids in the same exact color and is trying to sidle their way up to the altar, I don't think it matters if guests wear the same or a similar color. I had a few people reach out and ask me what the bridesmaids were wearing so they could avoid that color. I sent each one a picture of the dress because they asked, but also clarified that I did not care if they wore a light pink dress to my wedding.

Her friends range from simply lacking good manners, as though they learned them from high drama reality TV, and being totally rude. It is considered rude to tell guests what style or color to wear to any party or special occasion. Period. The formality, the location, and special details of dress for weather or safety are the only things family or guests need be told. This is true for showers and ceremonies and receptions. For example: The ceremony will be on the dock at the Town pier. Dress will be formal (business attire, cocktail attire, casual ), with all in rubber sole shoes for safety. ( Park authority does not allow wearing heels or hard soled shoes.) Regular shoes may be worn in the restaurant for the reception meal and dancing to follow. The Seaview Club does not allow flip flops inside the reception or dancefloor areas. ....Formality, and special details of clothing needed for safety on docks.
The brides most often wear shades of white, at the wedding ceremony. They wear any color at showers, engagement parties, bachelor parties. The only time there is a color restriction, is that guests do not wear anything white and bridal to the wedding. If this particular bride is in red or blue, those are not prohibited. While guests and family should not go out of their way to match bridesmaid or groomsmen colors, so there are 40 ladies in peach or mint, there is no problem if the occasional guest is in the same colors, just by chance. At a shower, brides don't own the color white, not at engagement parties. And though the hostesses of a shower, or the BP, may decide it is fun to wear bridal party colors, any other guest can wear what they please. These are long standing social etiquette. Family wear what they want for colors and styles, of the correct formality. Guests do also. Except for bridal white finery at the wedding itself, there are no restrictions on wearing any color, or wearing lace or satin. ....Reality TV and media have been creating high drama, that as with a Celebrity Entourage, no one but the top tier and bride wear certain things. That is not good manners, which prohibit dictating styles and colors for anything except the clothes the bridesmaids and groomsmen wear to the ceremony, and a reception that immediately follows. ... Erase everything these people taught you, so that other people will not be horrified by any bad ideas you picked up. Brides are not Queen of all they survey even for a day. They choose attendants' clothes, period. Not even father's and mother's clothing. And guests avoid bridal white clothing. ( A white silk blouse and pants, worn with a bright blue jacket, while a bride is in a formal white satin and lace gown, is perfectly fine. As are print dresses, on a white background, or men in tropical white suits.). This OP post is a perfect example of why it does not work for everyone to make up new rules for their own affair. Guests should not have to jump through hoops, or attend classes to figure out what they are " allowed to wear.". And when hosts or bride's rudely decide to set color and style dress codes, people they tell are free to do whatever they want. No reason to show respect for things other people say and do that are rude.

That's a whole lotta drama over color!!

I'm sorry your first shower was like this. It's fairly common these days for showers to have a theme, and coordinating colors, but this goes way beyond that! I've actually never heard of coordinating shower outfits, or colors, or anything of the sort. And I've attended a lot of showers in my life. I'm sure your wheat-colored dress was lovely, and not at all inappropriate for the occasion.

I'm with you on this.......I want my guests to wear whatever makes them happy and feel good about themselves!

As long as no one shows up wearing white, I wouldn't worry about it! I agree with the others, I have never heard of having to wear a specific color or print to a shower. I always just wear a nice dress haha!