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M
Savvy November 2020

The flaky wedding party

Marah, on June 21, 2020 at 1:29 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 10
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So about a month ago when my fiancé and I announced our engagement his friends were confused because it’s only been six months and they automatically assumed things about the situation that were further from the truth


Then my SO got a job offer closer to meAnd he moves in this weekend we are so excited about this next step
We sent out the save the date cards to our very small and restricted guest list and his friends all seemed excited about it. But then suddenly something changed.., now back to moving
We got are all set to move yesterday and we called everyone asking when they would be on their way and I called all the girls first because my fiancé was packing and they all just texted saying “oh it’s this weekend right ?”Then my fiancé gets a bunch of texts saying “ sorry bro we are out of town on the annual camping trip we thought it was next weekend “ A camping trip they invited him to go on but not me even though their girlfriends and kids go He is really hurt by this, and some of these people have been friends of his for years and it’s a little shocking that they acted all hurt because we aren’t announcing bridal and grooms parties until October and they all wanted to be apart of it but now it’s all in the wind. I kinda feel like it’s my fault but I don’t know how At least my in laws like me lol
I just need to know if anyone has had issues too

10 Comments

Latest activity by Marah, on June 22, 2020 at 1:30 PM
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    No issues but this sounds like a discussion you both should have with your friends. It seems like there is a misunderstanding there.

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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    What do you think the issue is ? That they don’t like you or they’re just being forgetful, etc?
    Sometimes wedding parties aren’t always going to be as great as we would hope they’d be.its something I learned later on that no one is as into and as excited about your stuff as you are
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  • Emily
    Expert September 2020
    Emily ·
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    It may be that they are just slow to warm up. I know it does take me awhile with our friend's significant others. It's not a "trying to be mean" thing (with me at least?) It's just a comfort zone/ feeling forced to make a new friends deal.
    If I'm reading right, y'all have been together less than a year - that may be a big part. It's tough to go from "wait, what was her name?" at the party to close friends/ in the gang for many. Give it time, and it can get there - raising it as a major issue this early may not endear you to them. It probably took your partner a long time building those friendships as well and they've stood for a few years - if you're getting married, you've got the time ahead of you.
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  • M
    Savvy November 2020
    Marah ·
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    So we have two friends in mutual that introduced us that are also married and they are probably on the same page as us
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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    I would just talk to your friends about it. Sometimes we have great expectations for bridal parties, but they just don't come out that way. It sounds like there's been a miscommunication somewhere, so maybe just try to bring it up and see what's happening?

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  • A
    Super October 2021
    Ashley ·
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    It could be that they didn’t want to help him move. Moving is a pain and helping someone move is a big deal. I’ve moved several times and have only ever had family and significant others help.
    They probably also need time to get used to all of the changes. It’s probably not that they don’t like you. It’s likely that they don’t know you. To them, you’re a random girl and things are progressing faster than they would’ve expected. They need time to get to know you and see that you’re actually sticking around. Right now, they’re still trying to get a feel for the situation, and you’re still a stranger. Keep being kind to them and give it time.
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  • M
    Savvy November 2020
    Marah ·
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    We have set up several times to hang out they just never show up
    Even in the beginning
    And we thought it would get better if they were included in something important


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  • Nahnie2552
    Dedicated October 2020
    Nahnie2552 ·
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    Honestly, I dont think there's an issue. I just think people are flaky in general. I have several "friends" and when it comes down to it, you can never rely on folks to handle business such as showing up to move. I would have hired movers bc you know they're responsible and reliable. Don't hold it against them; unfortunately this is how people are sometimes. My cousin just eloped and had a backyard BBQ and hardly no family showed.
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    It's a little hard to tell what the issues are exactly from the way you wrote that, but did they say they were going to help you move and then not show up? It's annoying when people fail to come through after committing, that's for sure. But I honestly am not sure if they committed and then flaked or if you were just assuming they would help and then they were busy.

    Anyway, none of that is related to your wedding or them being in the wedding party, especially if you haven't actually invited them to be a part of your wedding party yet.

    If they are all truly just flaky people, it's good you know this now before asking them to be in your party. People don't change who they are just because they have a new title of bridesmaid or groomsman.

    I would only invite people you already know you can count on, while at the same time making sure your communication is very clear, AND that your expectations are realistic.

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  • M
    Savvy November 2020
    Marah ·
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    The moving thing is just the tip of the ice berg


    They have met me all of two different times We invited everyone to the engagement party We invited everyone to a BBQ And everyone tells us they are coming and then doesn’t show up
    Our mutual friends do but the friends that are just his don’t even after confirming
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