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TaylorMarie06
Savvy January 2010

The "First Look" picture session before the wedding?

TaylorMarie06, on March 25, 2009 at 5:13 PM Posted in Planning 1 19

So I have decided to do the "first look" picture session with my photographer. For those of you that may call it something different....it's where the bride & groom see each other before the wedding and take pictures together & with the family/wedding party. I was back and forth with this decision, since I'm a very traditional person. I just think I had rather do my crying in front of the people who are closest to me, rather than crying in front of 300 people. And I know I'll be emotional! Smiley smile I would love to hear from anyone who has done this and what they liked/disliked about it. Thanks! Smiley smile

19 Comments

Latest activity by jfredericklathem, on October 7, 2015 at 7:24 PM
  • Jessica
    Expert September 2009
    Jessica ·
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    Pretty much every wedding I have been to or in does this. Mainly it's done to save time so that guests are not waiting for a long time at the reception location. But one thing that they do is that everyone else (wedding party, family) leaves the altar area and the groom waits with the photographer. The bride, who is elsewhere getting ready, is sent up. That way the bride and groom have their private moment (with the photographer, of course, to capture the looks) of seeing each other for the first time. I am very traditional though, and want my fiance to see me when I walk down the aisle. I figure I'll be emotional no matter what Smiley smile We are just going to do all the pictures ahead of time that don't involve us to be together in the picture and then do the remaining few afterwards. But if you are having that many people, it might be easier for you to do it all beforehand.

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  • FMS, the barefoot wife!
    Master August 2010
    FMS, the barefoot wife! ·
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    I personally would not do the photo session before we were married, I'd rather have the 'newly married/just saw each other glow and twinkle in our eyes. I think having them after captures the moment way better than the before and then pics..And you never know.. you may only blubbering at the rehearsal, decorating, etc. (like my sister in law) But be totally calm on the day of the wedding (also like my sister in law).

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  • steeler74386
    Expert April 2009
    steeler74386 ·
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    Your ring is very pretty taylor.....i personally id rather wait to do it after. id rather have his eyes when he first sees me walkind down teh aisle. thats just me though.

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  • juhgail
    Devoted October 2009
    juhgail ·
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    Since I am Jewish I MUST see the groom before the wedding. We have to sign the Jewish wedding contract before the ceremony, so I don't get to stay separated Smiley sad But anyhoo...I was told by my caterer that I should do a "first look" photo. As far as I was told (and discussed) its not a photo "session", rather a moment. It's just capturing when the bride and groom see each other for the first time on the wedding day. I will do it, then we will move on to rest of the pictures.

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  • Anthony Scamberti
    Anthony Scamberti ·
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    It's getting more and more popular to do your pictures before the ceremony, especially when the ceremony & reception are in the same place. If you don't do your pictures beforehand, you don't get a chance to relax and enjoy your cocktail hour. I think it's fair to say that a large amount of brides that I have worked with regret not doing their pictures before the ceremony when they're in one location. If they could go back and do it again, they would get the pictures done early.

    Hope that helps!

    Kevin

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  • Stacey Pinkney
    Stacey Pinkney ·
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    Setting aside the fact that photographers enjoy doing pics before b/c it's less rush and more time to be creative, there are other pluses. This is what I've heard from my couples...

    1-It helps with those "I think I'm going to explode" nerves that you often feel before the wedding. Seeing your honey and sharing that time makes all the brides I've worked with instantly relax! However, those "OMG, it's really time" nerves come back when you are about the walk down the aisle. Don't for a second think it takes ANYTHING away from that moment.

    2-Many guys lock up when you come down that aisle. They feel "on stage" and you often won't get an honest response out of him. He's nervous too! When he can see you before, he can take it all in, respond to how beautiful you are, laugh with you, cry with you, and most importantly... TALK TO YOU!

    3-Many churches restrict access to the front of the church, making it hard for photographers to get that reaction shot. This way we can't miss it!

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  • TaylorMarie06
    Savvy January 2010
    TaylorMarie06 ·
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    Thank you all for your response. I definitely feel more comfortable with my decision now! Smiley smile

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  • Anthony Scamberti
    Anthony Scamberti ·
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    No problem! It's really the way to go. Think of it this way. You go from the ceremony, immediately to pictures, and by the time with pictures, MAYBE you get to a few minutes of cocktail hour. The second you walk into cocktail, you're bombarded by guests that you're seeing for the first time that day, and then you're quickly pulled away to start getting ready for your introductions. By the time all the formalities are over, and you actually get to sit down, majority of the day is gone! By doing your pics beforehand, you can see your cocktail hour, get all the talking to friends and family out of the way, and actually enjoy the reception.

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  • C
    Just Said Yes June 2009
    Care ·
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    My fam's pretty traditional and we attended a wedding where they did photos first -- my parents were really skeptical so was I -- then, after seeing it, we ALL change our minds -- hands down the smartest decision.

    So that's what we did. You actually get to enjoy Your party. Our guests loved having the time to meet with the bride and groom during the cocktail hour - we had 350 people - lemme tell you it was still a whirlwind of making sure to get to shake hands with everyone there so we needed the extra hour. Plus, our family photos were over so no one stressed about it the rest of the evening and just enjoyed themselves.

    That whole first look being at the ceremony is so overrated btw, we still felt every bit connected and excited.

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  • Lainey
    Dedicated August 2010
    Lainey ·
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    Personally, I want my FH's first time to see me all beautified is at the alter.

    You can always do the picture session after!

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  • Jenni
    Just Said Yes October 2010
    Jenni ·
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    This tradition has been romanticized over the years, but where it originally came from was back in the days of arranged marriages. They didn't see each other until they were married (hence the veil as well) because the families were afraid that the grooms would see the bride, not think she was pretty enough to marry and run away! They also carried flowers because they didn't shower as often back then.

    While over the years it has changed and become this big deal, what is the real significance other than the fact that is is a "tradition". Is the world really going to end? no. And i'm pretty sure your groom won't run away!

    I'm a wedding photographer and I tell all of my brides this. They always choose to see each other before. They are able to touch-up makeup, are able to say things to one another and are actually able to enjoy their time before the ceremony and focus on the marriage rather than just the butterflies of seeing one another.

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  • Michelle Grove
    Michelle Grove ·
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    I second what Stacey said.

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  • TaylorMarie06
    Savvy January 2010
    TaylorMarie06 ·
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    So....I got married on the 2nd and I have to say that the first look was pretty amazing. I do not regret it one bit and loved the fact that it was just us two and the photographer in the room. Our true emotions came out and I loved every minute of it. Smiley smile

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  • datia
    Beginner April 2011
    datia ·
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    I am doing a First Look as well. It took months to get my FI to agree but it makes things so much easier. We get to spend some alone time and a very personal moment together, we save time during our reception, and we get to enjoy the picture taking process w/o feeling rushed. I am glad that times are not as stiff as the used to be and more and more people are hip to the idea.

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  • A
    Just Said Yes December 2012
    Aileen ·
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    I did it and it was an amazing experience, it was the best idea ever. We got married in the Florida Keys and had a sunset beach wedding. The hotel we got married at had a loose bridge connecting two of the buildings together, and that is where the "First Look" took place. It was just me and him, and the moment he saw me, is a moment that I will never forget.

    I recommend this to everyone Smiley smile XOXO


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  • LOlson9
    Beginner April 2015
    LOlson9 ·
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    My FH was not on board when I told him this idea, but after thinking about it, it just makes sense. Especially after talking to our photographer, it will be a way better photo opportunity with the light, other wise we'd be taking our pics later in the night with not very good lighting. Plus I like how we can get creative with our first look pictures. And we are definitely going to cry when we see each other, so at least this way we have a chance to get ourselves together for the ceremony, where I'm sure we'll cry some more, but get the majority of crying out of the way with our bridal party and close family.

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  • Molls115
    Just Said Yes August 2014
    Molls115 ·
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    I am so glad I did a first look! The pictures were to die for. Want to see 'em? http://wp.me/p5g2YW-eY

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  • jfredericklathem
    Just Said Yes December 2016
    jfredericklathem ·
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    First Look

    After reading this I think we are going to do the First Look and here is why...

    Wedding days should be full of emotion. Wedding days should not be stressful. But let’s face reality, they are. This is why I ask all my clients if they are interested in doing a first look. The first look adds so much beautiful emotion and happiness to a wedding day and alleviates SO much stress, it’s hard to know where to start raving about it!

    Well let’s start from the beginning…from the ancient tradition of the bride and groom not seeing each other before the ceremony. Many people don’t realize the reason for this was because the bride and groom had NEVER seen each other before the ceremony! It was so the groom, quite frankly, wouldn’t split! Luckily we’ve progressed and in our modern society, marriages (for the most part) aren’t arranged. We CHOOSE to marry the one we love. And we can choose to see them before the ceremony!

    Whenever I photograph a couple that chooses not to see each other before the ceremony I try to put myself in their shoes. The bride walks down the aisle to her soon to be husband. They are both completely nervous with all these guests staring at them. The bride reaches the front of the church. Her father is standing between her and her future husband. Her father gives her away and she moves to stand next to her husband. They don’t touch. They don’t talk. They can’t tell each other how amazingly beautiful the other looks. They can’t tell the other how incredibly excited they are to be getting married. They can’t hug, they can’t kiss, they can’t embrace. They can’t have a moment to themselves. After the ceremony is over they are immediately approached by all their loving relatives to be congratulated. This continues into the reception and throughout the night. They never have a moment just to themselves. I’ve been told by many people that your wedding day goes by in such a big blur, that sometimes it’s hard to remember everything. If you do a first look you have time scheduled to slow down and appreciate what this day is all about…being madly in love with the person you’re about to marry!

    Some people are concerned that a first look takes away from the emotion of the bride walking down the aisle and being given away by her father. It doesn’t. The bride being escorted by her father creates a completely different kind of emotion. I see grooms choked up in a totally different way than they were when they saw their bride for the first time. Your groom is also prone to have a more natural reaction as you approach him – he’s calm because he has already seen you…instead of being nervous while seeing you for the first time with the stress of 200 guests staring at him!

    So how does the first look work? After you are both all done up and dressed for the wedding, we position the groom facing away from where the bride will appear behind him. She approaches him while we capture the happy anticipation on his face. She usually touches (or grabs!) his arm and turns him around. And we the photographers capture, from a distance, all the emotion! You two get to hug, embrace, and savor this moment as long as you want…without the pressure of your guests watching you. You get to talk, laugh, cry (and reapply your makeup before the ceremony!) and we’re there to capture it all!

    Another reason to do the first look is that it reduces stress so much! Not only will you be less nervous walking down the aisle, it makes the day run much more smoothly. After we do a first look we do portraits of the bride and groom together. We have plenty of time for creative portraits that you will treasure forever! Then we get the whole bridal party together and do all of the formal photos with them, and then formal photos with your immediate family. We stop taking photos at least 30 minuets before the ceremony starts so you can tuck yourselves away, usually separately, without being seen by guests. The only formal photos we have left after the ceremony are any large family photos, which take about 30 minutes. When you do a first look everyone gets to the reception quickly and your guests aren’t sitting there waiting for two hours because guess what, we did all the photos before the ceremony! Of course it is possible to do all the photos after the ceremony but they are always rushed, which means as a photographer I’m not as creative as I could be, and you’re not getting the photos you could be! You’d also be getting photos taken when you’d rather be celebrating with your guests, which stresses you out!

    “Rights to EricaM”

    Read more: from the post and comments

    http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/should-we-do-a-first-look/#ixzz3nuMkdhiy

    others talking about it

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/20/wedding-first-look_n_3467290.html

    http://www.amazingdaysevents.com/the-first-look-taboo-or-to-die-for#comment-588

    http://www.bridalguide.com/blogs/bridal-buzz/seeing-each-other-before-ceremony#comment-7210

    http://www.amazingdaysevents.com/wonderful-ideas-for-first-look

    http://ashleytheresephotography.com/blog.cfm?postID=47

    http://www.kristynhoganblog.com/for-my-brides-why-a-first-look

    https://fstoppers.com/opinion/first-look-do-or-not-do-2604#comment-form

    http://thebigfakewedding.com/guest-blog-to-look-or-not-to-look/

    http://www.bridalguide.com/planning/first-look-photos#141765

    http://www.theweddingcentral.com/what-is-a-first-look-wedding-photography/

    http://www.brides.com/wedding-ideas/real-weddings/2013/11/first-look-wedding-photos-real-weddings#slide=1

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