Thank Yous

View Quoted Comment Lol I agree! It’s like people really think a lot more highly of themselves than they actually are. I think there’s just a lot of people that can’t put themselves in other people shoes. I guess I’m just too laid-back? But I’m just the type of person that understands that a ride in a groom are scrambling. Even after the wedding. I realized this even before I had my own wedding. It’s almost like it’s not a business interaction, it’s friends and family who should be more understanding

View Quoted Comment LOL Absolutely! Just remember, no one had to attend your wedding. They chose to. If they can’t respect the fact that this is the one day that you get in your entire life to just at least try to relax and do what you want, then let the hate mail rain lol

Even if someone showed up uninvited and brought a gift - I would still send a thank you note. Some people like to write them, some people don't, but they still must be sent. If you want to get talked about for years, skip a thank you note to Aunt Shirley and Uncle Floyd who flew in to your wedding AND gave a gift, lol. We can't judge on "Well someone was forced to write one" as we don't know that. I liked writing mine. We had a few people not give a gift, fine, we were 52 and had no registry, we still sent a note to say thank you for attending and sharing our day with us. We joked we wanted to register to have people TAKE things from our house, lol.

View Quoted Comment Showed up uninvited and brought a gift?? Lol trust me that didn’t happen haha and not that we expected gifts from anyone, but the Rando’s definitely did not bring gifts. Some people even looked miserable like they didn’t want to be there but they had to. Lol. I’m certainly not thankful for that.

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Well I did have a guest badger me endlessly about bringing her adult son and DIL, I wonder if they would have brought a gift, lol? I am sorry people looked miserable - I want to tell people it is an invitation, not a summons, lol.

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Yessss the left handed ink smudge! It's the worst!! I also have terrible handwriting so I totally get that too.

Sure! I get it. It’s one extra thing after the wedding. I understand because I wrote a note on every postcard that we mailed with our save the date magnets and, yes, that was tiring (especially because I did them all in one sitting). But for FH and I…. Given that our guests showed so much support, they rolled with our postponement and also with our wedding changing from one state to another, and given that they’ll be attending a wedding amidst the covid pandemic simply to celebrate our marriage with us… I won’t be able to say “thank you” enough. I actually get excited thinking about thanking our guests during the reception and then writing heartfelt notes after we return from the honeymoon because. Out wedding is still 5 months away and (a few months ago)I already found cute thank you’s that I want to send. 😆


How many guests do you have? I just suggest only writing a few at a time and not all at once. That way it won’t feel so daunting.

View Quoted Comment 😂 100%!!!!

I read them! And I remember those who don’t send them! 😔 For example, we forgot our check and I had to stop at the ATM to withdraw cash for the gift for one wedding. The couple never wrote us a thank you card (that we received at least) or said anything about it to us, so I’ve always wondered if they ever got the cash and if not who did? Did the thank you card get lost in the mail? My husband never asked the couple (he is closer to them and they don’t live local to us) either because he thought it would be too awkward. 🙄

View Quoted Comment Wow that’s unfortunate that you had to go out of your way to put money in a card for someone’s wedding day... yes there’s a hint of sarcasm there. if you felt that obligated to give a gift and if it was such a hassle, you shouldn’t have given one. Especially if you’re now upset because they didn’t give you a thank you card for what appears to be a very impersonal last minute gift from what you’re saying. I’m sure they’re grateful that you had to run to the ATM really quick before the wedding. I wouldn’t worry about the thank you card too much.

Meow. Sorry that you mistook this?! It wasn’t an inconvenience, and I would only be upset if a vendor(!!) went home with a gift meant for the couple, this was simply an example that you do not have confirmation of receipt with cash as you would with a check (or with thank you card for that matter). We had the card written out months in advance, just forgot to insert the check before traveling to the wedding. Girl, you better get on to that honeymoon, you sound tense!!!

View Quoted Comment Sorry you mistook my honesty for being tense, but it just came off as you had to go through a lot of trouble running to that ATM.

I agree that it’s another obligation! I honestly read the card and toss in the recycling bin. I also wouldn’t be offended if someone didn’t send one and I probably wouldn’t notice. I do think it’s polite to thank guests for attending and any presents but writing a generic card doesn’t sound fun at all.

Oh man, I feel this SO MUCH!! I'm super grateful and honestly do want to express that, but I'm really busy and don't get enough down time as it is. The thought of having to sit down for one more obligation that will cut into my desperately-needed "me time" is honestly so anxiety-inducing. We've actually had our cards at the apartment and ready to be written for about a month now, but I break down crying whenever I think about starting on them. And I'll be the one writing all of them because my husband's writing is.... not good, to put it nicely. My "giving" love language is words of affirmation, so my thank you cards are much more than an generic thing. Like, my brain just will not recognize "Thank you so much for coming and for your generous gift! It was wonderful to celebrate with you and we look forward to seeing you again soon!" as a legitimate thing. If there's empty space, my brain wants to fill it with even more words. That said, these thank you cards aren't something I can just bang out in a few hours. If I'm honest with myself, it'll probably take about 12ish hours over the course of 1-2 weeks to get them done. It's a daunting and exhausting process for me. I'm still going to do them, but it will take a while and I'll need a good amount of recover time in terms of social energy.

View Quoted Comment Totally! And especially with certain people I would feel weird if I just put a generic thank you and I think they would feel weird reading my generic thank you because they know how we are. It just depends who it is, but we are pretty close with almost everyone that was there so it’s kind of hard lol

I always throw mine out right away too, but I think just a short and sweet message on them is fine. My mom, sister and I went in on a vacuum for my cousin and her Thank You card said "Thank you so much for the vacuum, we already put it to use!" and of course I read it, smiled and threw it in the garbage, but it's the thought that counts! I have spent a lot of money in the past on wedding/bridal shower gifts and when I don't get a thank you card, I'm a little offended! I think it's an expectation, but just make your message short and sweet

View Quoted Comment I guess… Maybe I’m just bitter

I am putting this "Thank you" card on each place set. Do I still need to send thank you cards after the wedding?

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I would still send a personalized thank you note to anyone who gave a gift, but that's just me. It's never occurred to me until reading this thread to actually send a note to thank people just for coming to an event where I will be paying for their entertainment for the night lol. But I do think you should acknowledge everyone who send gifts specifically.

View Quoted Comment I understand you’re paying for their entertainment for the night, but many guests also spend quite a bit of money to actually attend a wedding. If you’re only thankful if someone gave a gift and not thankful just because they simply attended that to me is a bit awkward. If someone couldn’t afford a wedding gift that doesn’t necessarily mean that they cared less about your wedding then someone who did bring a gift. What if someone only gifted you five dollars? Do they still get a thank you card, or are you not thankful for that so they don’t get one?