Thank you notes to those who didn't gift

Personally if they didn't give a gift I would just wait. As you did do a general thank you to them a the wedding. This way they don't feel pressured to still send a gift as well as if they are planning to send one late it's less weird for when you do have to send a thank you.

I don't think I would send thank yours for their presence at the reception. You already did that at the wedding!

Personally, I was raised to ALWAYS send a thank you, even it is just thanking people for sharing in the day with you...they did, after all, take time out of their schedules to spend it there and I think it should be acknowledged

I like to believe that any kind words are always welcome, so I'd write thank you cards to everyone.

To me, a thank you card is an expression of gratitude for sharing your day with you. Gift or not, everyone who comes gets a thank you. They chose not to bring a gift so I would doubt you'd make them feel bad.

My cousin sent thank you cards to everyone (even those who didn't gift). I agree with the three above me ^^^, it would be nice to thank those who came and celebrated with y'all

I would send thank you cards to everyone no matter if they gifted or not. just as a general thank you.

I didn't send a thank you card to people who didn't give me a gift but we thanked everyone personally at the reception for coming.

Yep send them thank yous a well. just as in normal thank yous with a gift with these touch on what you talked about our if you did not really get to talk that you wish you were able to talk more

At the wedding, we thanked everyone for coming. We sent cards, however, to only those who gifted or helped out (because in the card, we said, "Thank you for the _____________" since they weren't there when we opened it).

No, you don't send thank you notes to people just for attendance. You thank people for coming in person at the wedding (which you did) and the reception itself is also a thank you. Thank you notes are for gifts. Sending a note to people who didn't give a gift can be seen as a hint or "reminder" to send a gift or seen as pointing out that they didn't give anything, which is not polite.

$%^#$^#%&^@&%@!!!! NO NO NO!!! THE DINNER IS THE THANK YOU!!! If you hosted a dinner party, you would not send thank you notes to your guests for attending-- the onus would be on THEM to thank YOU!!!

Please don't send thank you notes for attendance alone unless the person came from across the country. Otherwise, yes, it is generally considered RUDE to do so! Furthermore, if some actually DOES gift you something afterwards, then sending a SECOND note will become very awkward!

I was also raised to send a Thank You card. Even without a gift. They spent the day with you and celebrated your big moment. No harm in saying thank you. Just don't mention a gift for those that didn't give one.

Sigh. There IS a harm in sending a thank you note when your note makes them feel badly that they couldn't / didn't send a gift. Barbara L is correct.

We only sent thank you notes to those who gave a gift, as the note was for the gift. We had a note in the program and the hotel bag thanking them for coming and thanked them all in person at the reception. At some point, it becomes too much.

What kind of "thank you for spending our special day with us" card makes someone feel bad for not giving a gift? I think that would only be done if you write a snarky thank you.

If you already had a Thank you at the wedding then don't send a card. It's up to you and how you feel about it and If you feel you already said thank you.

If I had gone to a wedding and not given the bride or groom a gift (which would never happen!) I don't think I would feel bad or as though I should NOW send them something in the mail. I would think that it was a very nice gesture on the part of the couple for taking the time to send me a thank you for spending my time with them. There is nothing wrong with being polite

I once read a post on weddingbee from a bride who was upset that more people didn't give gifts so she wrote them all "thank you for coming" notes after the wedding hoping that it would REMIND them that they neglected to give her anything. Sure enough, she received a couple of gifts shipped to her after that. She then recommended that other brides do the same thing to "give people a nudge to send a gift".

It does not have to be snarky. The note itself is like a little jab at someone's potentially guilty conscience that they didn't / couldn't give anything. You thank everyone for coming in person at the wedding. If they helped out in some way, then yes, send a note thanking them for whatever they did.

Even the OP acknowledged in her post that it could make the non-gifters feel bad.

I can honestly tell you I would feel gut wrenchingly bad if I couldn't afford a gift for a wedding, and then got a "thank you for coming" note.

It is also not a matter of "how you were raised". Growing up, I had a friend who used to come over a lot. When she left, we'd say "thank you for coming over" and her response was always "you're welcome" b/c she was "raised" to always say " you're welcome" if someone said "Thank you." Of course in this context, it came off as rude and it would have been more polite for her to respond with "thank you for having me." Just b/c she was doing what she was "raised" to do, doesn't mean it was the "right" thing to do!

We only sent thank-you notes to people who gave us gifts and/or helped us out in some way. We did thank everyone in person though at the reception.