Thank you notes for no card or gift at wedding?

I plan to send cards to everyone...though I think I'm in the minority...

@Amy, that is a very good point! Maybe I will change my mind for that reason alone, because it is a damn good one. Better than the whole, "you were too cheap for even a card, so I'll skip it too" attitude.

I still would, and I'd just send a second thank you card if I got a gift later.

I thought about this for awhile and for me personally- I think I'll send a card to each person. Ultimately, I want them to take time out of their day to celebrate my relationship and I think that deserves a thank you. Moreover, I don't want my poor college friends or lower SES family to feel obligated to get me a gift (or feel bad afterwards because they weren't able to). Maybe a follow-up phonecall or card for any after-the-fact gifts...?

Of course, it is all up to what fits you better! If you hate writing up cards- skip it!

You can't send too many thank you cards. We send out thank yous as we receive gifts and will send out thanks after the wedding and if gifts come in later, we will send out another thank you. Showing or communicating gratitude is just a little thing we can do. We want everyone to know we appreciate them and if they bless us with a gift....we appreciate the gift too.

Again....my opinion. ..

I am old fashion and an older bride.

The thank you is for celebrating with you....all guests should get one. Besides, with all of the talk lately about having gifts or cards stolen From weddings you never know if they brought a card and you never received it.

Our wedding shower was this past weekend and we had a cookout and we had about 30 people here. We got 3 gifts and FH and I was so pissed cause we ended up footing the food bill and he was the one too cook it. And it was complete caos later that night. Cause a lot of them stayed the night and they all was drinking and stuff and I totally went off on everyone of them. It was a nightmare.

I would. I had a small wedding and the people that I wanted to come were there. They travelled, they paid for hotel rooms, they gave my special occasion their time, I was thankful to celebrate with them. I mean if you have a party with 300 people and some are your mom and dads friends and they gave nothing then fuck-it. But if it's your relatives or friends your talking about, I'd thank them for coming. It only makes you look better in their eyes, and doesn't hurt at all to you, but by all means write theirs last and take your time.

I think a TY card is appropriate to all who attended. People are constantly saying that "gifts aren't required" for weddings, therefore shouldn't we thank those that decided to "enjoy" our days with us?

I'm sending them to everyone, but I had like 60 people show up in total, so no biggie. PLUS there were at least 3 gifts that had no card/name attached to them, so I figured best be safe than sorry - if someone gets offended I didn't mention "their gift" they can let me know what it was.

I understand Amy's point, however, my parents are from the south (Mississippi and Georgia) When you invite people to an event (birthday, anniversary, wedding, etc.) whether they bring a gift or not, they receive a thank you.

However, nowadays, people invite guests expecting gifts and when they don't receive one, they are upset. This is the wrong attitude and this custom needs to be stopped.

I'd do it.

I've never heard sending thank you cards for attending. Is this a new thing or just among certain circles?

We are going to send a thank you card whether they bring a gift or not.

I would not.

I sent a thank you to everyone. If they got us a gift, I thanked them specifically. If they didn't, I thanked them for being a part of our day. I feel that the people made an effort to be there, and so I thanked them for that.

I wouldn't. At our wedding everything is paid for from Bar to parking and food everything. All the guests have to do is show up. FH and I will say a thank you speech at the reception to thank guests for coming...thats enough. If they send a gift then I would send hem an additional card.

I know for me, if a guest didn't sign anything or give a card, even though I saw them at the wedding, I probably wouldn't remember they were there later on. That's their fault, not yours then, if they don't end up getting a card.

Any time someone shows up at an important event, it means that they care. Sometimes, people simply can't afford to give a gift, and leaving $20 in an envelope is too embarrassing. Perhaps those folks will send you something in the coming months.

I always appreciate the sentiment in thank you cards sent after funerals (not comparing the two events beyond the fact that they are both monumental, family events). They always cover all the bases ("perhaps you sent an arrangement, a card, a charity donation, offered prayers, or perhaps you sat silently in support..."). There's nothing improper about thanking someone for sharing a milestone event with you, and it doesn't cost much more than a postage stamp.

We are sending a thank you for everyone who comes. For many them coming IS their gift to us. We don't get to see many often and yes, if it meant I sent two that's fine too. In my experience if they didn't send a gift by the wedding they probably won't be sending one after.

Someone else mentioned they were raised to thank those who come same here. I mean even for the kids when they have parties everyone gets a thank you for coming gift or not. We have raised the kids to know that parties and events don't equal gifts it's about sharing your day with those you love not what you get.