Thank you note RANT

I sent out hand-written thank you notes within a week after my shower. I bought 100 thank you cards to send out after the wedding. I'm sending a card to every guest who comes to the wedding, whether they give me a gift or not. To me, it's just the right thing to do. There's just no excuse for bad manners.

So after reading the first page I had to wonder: if you don't get any gifts, do you still send thank you notes? My wedding shower was really small, and I requested that they not bring gifts (most of my friends couldn't afford it and I didn't want them put on the spot). I thanked his mom, my mom, and my bridesmaids in person for throwing me the shower. Do I still send thank you notes? I mean, I thanked everyone for coming day of, and spoke to each guest afterwards thanking them again for the great memories. I didn't think I'd need to send an actual card, but now I feel bad because I didn't.

This is precisely the reason I have stopped buying gifts for certain people and why I will likely not send Christmas cards this year. I didn't even know that 90% of the people got them because I never heard a peep from them!

This is probably one of my biggest pet peeves. I don't care what kind of party it is, wedding, birthday, shower, anything you send a personalized thank you. Take 30 seconds to write something. It drives me insane and is probably one of the most rude things you can do. I hate it. I guess I was just raised correctly?

While we are on the subject we got a thank you note from one of my cousins. It was a post card already written and signed on the computer. So they just printed them out. Even the address was a label and not hand written. My cousins wife is a stay at home mom and her daughter was already in school! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ALL DAY THAT YOU CANT WRITE THANK YOU NOTES?!?!?! Sorry, rant over.

D'Lisa if I were you I would send them thank you notes just based on the type of occasion. Not sure the actual etiquette in that situation but I definitely would.

Waitttt @Melissa is it rude to send Thank yous with printed address labels?? I have all my address online so I can pick and choose and just print them. I have terrible hand writing so I hand wrote personal Thank Yous but I printed my addresses.. I feel like that can't be too rude in this day and age.

Erica - Thanks! I'll get them sent out ASAP. I didn't think i was being rude or ungrateful, but I don't want to offend. I was raised to send thank you notes when you are unable to thank people in person. Bu I'll still send them. I don't think they'll be mad about getting a card.

Jess - no one has ever said you only have two weeks to send out wedding thank you notes. Some people are still on their honeymoon at that point! You actually have 3 months from the wedding date to get them all out.

D'Lisa - I'm surprised people came to a shower without any gifts, but no, you don't send "thank you for coming" notes. They were given a party and you thanked everyone in person for coming - that's perfect.

@DMN no not at all. I plan on using labels. It was a pre printed post card, with the same "thank you for coming/ the gift" to everyone. Not personalized at all. Even the signature was printed. And then for the address they did a label where you usually write it on a postcard. So everything was done on a computer and no effort whatsoever on their part. I just couldn't believe it when I know she doesn't work, her daughter is in school, she doesn't cook or clean, and she has no health issues. She is just LAZY but I guess they at least sent them. (and by they I found out my cousin did them, after cooking, cleaning and working. I also dislike her so its fine )

I complained about this same thing here last month. I still haven't received a thank you for a shower in january and a wedding in march. Not including travel we gave them over $500 in gifts and cash. I was taught to always say thank you and be polite (never forced to write thank you notes..but I guess I just started when I moved out on my own) and thank you notes is part of that. The fact that people are saying "no one sends thank yous anymore" is a huge problem in my opinion. The laziness and entitlement is taking over.

My FSIL hasnt sent out thank you cards and she got married in April. I think its extremely rude...

I DO NOT understand how people don't send thank you notes... Seriously

My DH never did them till I brought some of those little cards that just say 'Thank you' on the front. Somehow, having the space so severely limited makes it much easier for him. Now he's like a Nazi on the subject. When I went into labor *the night after his coworkers threw us a shower* he was on my case a week later. All I could say was, "Honey, we only brought the baby home three days ago-- I'm sure they understand." But more on-topic, my younger brother got married in August-- still no thank you note. I even outted him on Facebook, sent the "Did you get my present?" email, and ratted him out to his mom (we're half-siblings). Trying *really* hard not to hold it against my baby brother, who will be married this year.

@Zoe Right? That's how the topic came up! Since we will be going out east to see his side of the family for a wedding, his mom had wanted to throw me a shower that weekend - which I was like no, it's their weekend and I don't want to infringe on their weekend. But then I was like I guess since we are going out there maybe we could do a SMALL brunch on Sunday morning, if the couple didn't have anything (I'm not sure if gift-opening brunches the morning after the wedding are a mid-west thing or not?). My FH was like it won't be a big thing like my sisters because she didn't send thank you notes and I was like seriously she didn't send thank you's?!?!? Plus, I would send them, I don't get why they would think I would do the same thing I'm not related to her! My mom raised us to send thank you's or at least say thank you in person or call the sender to say thank you and chat.

I’m sitting here writing out thank you cards for my bridal shower (which was on the 6th so I’m further behind than I would like to be). It is taking me forever to do. Never mind the fact that I keep taking WW breaks... I have such a hard time expressing myself, especially through writing, and I know that my notes are not the most profound, but I would never think of not sending a personalized thank you card. Regardless of how difficult a task or how time consuming it may be for some people, it really is the least you can do for someone who cares enough about you to celebrate you and FH/FW. I don’t get why people don’t send them either.

I probably should close WW and get back to it!