Thank you letter to an ex best friend

Write the thank you as you would for anyone else who gave you a gift. Reach out to her separately to mend the fences, these are two different things.

I'm confused about why your husband would go to events without you, especially if you find it hurtful to not be invited. As far as the thank you note goes, either write a generic one that thanks her for the gift or have your husband write it.

The reconciliation is a separate issue and I wouldn't address it in the thank you note. Write it like you would any other, or have FH do it since it's his friend.

Reach out to her separately if you want to mend the relationship.

He’s not friends with her but friends with her husband. We all were really great friends but things happened and they boys remained friends and we did not. I think you are all correct with just sending a thank you card and mending things separate. Thanks for all the advice.

Unless your husbands are doing guys night or something, why would he be invited to anything without you? I can't image H and I inviting a friend in a relationship to anything and NOT inviting their SO. In our crowd an invitation to one is assumed to be an invite to both unless specifically noted otherwise. The way you phrased it indicates that the woman is involved on the get togethers, so I assume they aren't guys nights. That whole things seems odd.

Anyway, I agree with others. Thank you first, then decide about reconciling.