Thank you cards... no card or gift?

Our wedding is Sunday and we actually were in quite a bit of shock of those who didnt bring a card or a gift? *Is this a question or a statement

Not to mention receiving $105 from a wealthy family of 4. *Wealthy people have to give you more?

And not even a card from 2 bridesmaids with their husband or boyfriend, or a groomsmen with his girlfriend. *Why do they owe you a gift?

We were in shock because our bridal party said they and their partners would have something for us so it's surprising not to even receive a card. *Maybe it was a nice gesture that was overlooked

FH's aunts who both were readers, both with husbands and one with 2 kids, nothing at all. *They did readings for you--did you give them gifts?

Several guests came without anything when we went through things. Quite shocking. *So much shocking. Really? Shocking? Curious, strange, whatever but shocking not so much.

We are seeing his aunts this coming weekend so FH thinks they might have something for us at Thanksgiving. *Expectations lead to disapoinments

Preparing to write stuff out the next couple days but who gets a thank you card? *Those who gave a gift

If their "presence was supposed to be a gift" do you still send one? *No

I disagree with OP's greedy sounding post..... it's icky. But I just want to chime in that in my circle of family and friends, weddings are 100% a gift giving event. I would never fathom going to a wedding with nothing. What you can afford is fine, but to go empty handed is absurd.

I’m sorry that has happened. It’s tradition to bring a gift. However, send thank you cards to those who gave a gift to show them you appreciate them being thoughtful. Years ago, I myself have heard a groom complaining about not receiving enough money in cards to cover costs from out of state family members. I was appalled. You have to remember it’s your decision to get married and have a party for your guests, so I believe in not expecting Anything and being grateful for Anything. I even told my FH this so he’s not in shock when we don’t get gifts. He’s disappointed because we give every time. Just enjoy your marriage!

Gift giving does not come with instructions. You give what you can give. Traditional etiquette says you have a year to send a gift. I would be so upset with my daughter (or any of our kids) if they were vocally disappointed in a monetary gift. It doesn't matter their income bracket. Sometimes life happens. We are a family of seven.....I can tell you that we can't afford a $100 gift per person.

I am a bit shocked at this post... you expect people who worked at your wedding to give you a physical gift? Your aunt's who read for your wedding, you thought they would be so honored to have that role that they would give you a bigger and better gift because of it? Yikes! If I have a role in a wedding, I consider my service to be the gift, and I never give an additional amount the day of the wedding. You need to take into consideration all the other gifts these people have you besides money, and you should thank them heartily and sincerely for it!

We gave our readers a nice card and gorgeous necklace at the rehearsal. We told our parents because we all paid 1/4 so yeah we said something. Plus when they give a generous gift to their friends or family's child they expect a generous one back. Our readers were 3 aunts and one of my friends. My friend and aunt gave us something. We did readings to include close friends and family in the ceremony.

While I personally could never imagine not bringing a gift to a wedding, gifts are definitely not expected. You sound like you had the wedding for the expectation of all the gifts you were "supposed" to receive. I wrote a thank you card to everyone who came - gift or no gift. Many traveled, spent time out of their day, maybe spent money on their attire. We wanted to thank them for it.

The only comment I have about this is regarding the bridal party- I wouldn't and do not expect any of my bridal party to give us a gift and you shouldn't either. Them being in the wedding is enough, on top of them planning a bridal shower and Bach. Even if they didn't plan those things for you, being in a wedding can be quite expensive, no gift necessary.

ETA- typo x2

Ok... I'm gonna ignore 90% of the original post. The entitlement is amazing.

You send a card to those who gifted. The reception was the thank you for attending.

Plus when they give a generous gift to their friends or family's child they expect a generous one back.

Therein lies the problem.

Did you enjoy any part of your wedding? You have many complaints about the day.

Send them a bill, then.

(Sarcasm)

This post is gross.

OP you are not helping yourself here. The entitlement is outrageous! You told your parents who gave you what because they paid for 1/4 of the wedding? Your gift amounts should have stayed between your DH and yourself.

I was in a wedding 10 years ago where I totally forgot to get a gift for the couple, bc I had done so many effing wedding activities plus travel for all of them (I lived out of town) that it totally slipped my mind. Maybe your wedding party had something similar. (I was also barely 23 at the time so also broke and less aware of etiquette anyway.)

Thank you cards are only needed for those who gave gifts.

You told your parents because they paid for 1/4? Are you dividing up gifts with them?

105 from a wealthy family of 4? How do you know their finances or financial position? If I received 100 dollars from anyone id be overwhelmed with gratitude.

My DH and I laugh that my friends and family showed up but his people showed out. His friends lavished us with gifts and money. My friends lavished us with there presence and support. Guess who gets a thank you card?! Everyone! We were happy to have everyone come and support our love and union. You're supposed to send thank you cards to everyone, gift or not. I had a few close friends not give a gift but I still love them. @OP you're allowed to feel a little disappointed but don't let that take away from the great day you had.

Gifts should never be seen as mandatory!

Actually, Corrie, the reception is a thank you to your guests for witnessing your vows. Thank you cards are for the gifts.

We had several guests attend and bring no gift (or even just a card). I was surprised, as I've never attended a wedding empty handed and gift giving is customary at weddings in our area, but I said and did nothing about it. We sent thank you cards to those who were generous enough to give us gifts, and the reception was the thank you for attending. Sharing that info with people and/or doing anything about it is worse than them not bringing anything.