Tattoos on bridesmaids: What should I do?

Heather...I think anyone can wear anything they like and that goes for vintage, I don't think tatoos should stop someone from wearing vintage clothing and as a poster said above women did have tattos back to the 1800's.

Oh God not this topic again. Like I warned the last bride who posted this, you're going to get a lot of comments on this thread. I had to hide my own thread last summer because I had so many responses. The etiquette police and people with tattoos are going to attack me after this, but I completely disagree with what most people are saying. I don't want tattoos or any facial piercings on the day of my wedding either. I understand I'm in the minority because I don't have any "body art," but my friends know me well enough and respect my idea enough to know that I would like them covered on my wedding day. I have spoken with my FH's family and they have agreed to comply. If you know your bridal party well enough you will know if they will get offended by asking them to cover them. I gave my bridal party the choices of cover the tattoos, pick a dress that covers them, or choose to be a guest. I don't understand why it's so offensive and maybe because I choose not to get tattooed, but people understand that everything is not for everybody. Just because they choose to have tattoos doesn't mean that everyone likes them, and it doesn't mean that you love them any less. It's their bodies and their life decisions, that's why you give them the opportunity to either comply or opt out. Like my bridal party has told me, it's one day and they can deal with it.

Done with my rant...for now.

I think people had some valid suggestions, thoughts and opinions. I'm not going to take it personally, I put this topic up there to see what people thought, I already knew it was probably rude to ask the bridesmaids before I posted this, but I just wanted to see if my thinking was correct, my mom has been breathing down my back to bring it up to them and I just had a feeling I didn't want to " go there" with my bridesmaids and based on responses from people here I think I am right. The suggestions of the boleros/shawls are a good way to compromise to be polite and keep my mother and father happy.

Nicolette, sorry my post was sarcastic because someone (maybe even you) said their dresses were vintage and lady like and tattoos don't go with that.

If you want, I'll come to the wedding in a sundress with a cut out hole in the middle so my giant stomach tattoo will take away from the shock your parents have about your bridesmaids

You can still look classy even with tattoos. I have 23 (and counting) tattoos and I know I'm going to look amazing on my wedding day! All my bridesmaids, with the exception of my Maid of Honor, have tattoos and they are going to look amazing!

My parents were very conservative (they are no longer here with us) and I know it wouldn't have been an issue with either of them if my tattoos show when I get married or any of the girls have tattoos. Don't get me wrong, they freaked out when I first got a tattoo but they got over it really fast.

Tattoos aren't a problem, if its such an issue to you tell them to step down or get over it

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Not all tattoo's look good and dammit if you don't want them seen ask them to cover them up. I have two and have been in 4 wedding and if they had asked me to cover them up I would have. I wear a short natural and was in a wedding last summer. I asked if she wanted me to get a hairstyle no problem. While your friends/bridesmaids aren't props dammit I want nice pictures.

And another thing, how RUDE is it for you all to be so dismissive of her family's values. At some point we have all made concessions to fall in line with our family values and views.

@Nicoletta: If you do not want to see more responses or opinions, then I would recommend hiding your post.

My parents are the most conservative people in the world, and my sister is covered in tattoos from skulls to hello kitty eating a cupcake. She is getting married in a month (her Fh's parents are also very conservative) and isn't covering her tattoos. You know what? Everyone is going and accepted it. They will get over it it isn't even your tattoos so why do they care. P.s. shawls are ugly IMO

It's rude of people to be "dismissive" of her families values but she can expect her bridesmaids to conform for her & what her families beliefs are? Yeah that makes a lot of sense.

Her bridesmaids aren't going around committing mass murder or doing animal sacrifices. So how are would having a tattoo affect her family in any way? It won't.

@Nicoletta I just wanted to commend you on being open enough to hear everyone's responses. Often when people post on here and get a torrent of comments saying the way they've been perceiving things isn't great, the person gets super defensive, angry and hides the thread.

I also agree with others that there is no reason to ask your friends to cover their tattoos. Having conservative parents and being a people pleaser, I understand your desire to try and make everyone happy. But sometimes you need to let people be a bit uncomfortable. I don't see any reason to ask your friends to cover their tattoos.

Q: How do politely you ask a bridesmaid to cover her tattoos?

A: You don't.

Sorry, there's just no nice way to do it, so just don't. Nobody is going to be paying attention the BM's tats anyway. They'll be looking at YOU. Your photographer can photoshop tattoos out of a few of your favorite photos, if it's that important to you. But I really think you just need to let it go. I DO like the idea of buying them shawls, though. Just make sure you buy shawls for ALL the BMs, not just the ones with tattoos.

As tattoos dont bother me at all i have a few on my arms myself there is this kat von d makeup that is made to cover tattoos , im sure they would understand that these are life long photos and its just how you would prefer to have them look . Im having my girls flaunt theres but if someone asked me to cover mind i would totally understand

Shouldn't even have bothered asking them. I wish 2 of my maids would get tattoos to fit in with the rest of us.

Dismissive of her family's feelings? I think having a bridesmaid cover up her tattoos because you or your family would be offended is dismissive of their feelings. My tattoos are personal to me and they represent my struggles and my accomplishments. My friends understand that and love me for who I am not my tattoos, my eye color or my hair preference.

While your pictures not be the way "you" want them. I would find them ideal, surrounded by people that love me and care enough to be with me on my special day.

I really hope they don't find out why you are buying them wraps. That would hurt my feelings, even more that you felt you couldn't come to me and discuss my tattoos as two mature adults.

I second Carrie. It's really impressive that you took everyone's opinions and didn't get defensive/hide the thread. And I do understand trying to please everyone -- that's exactly what has made me lose my mind a few times with the wedding. Trying to please everyone is nearly impossible (especially stuck-up, rich, snobby in-laws ... I can't believe they raised my down-to-earth and practical FH ... lol sorry, going off on a tangent).

Talk to your photographer-if you have a really good/easy going one they may be able to edit your formal pictures AND at no additional charge I personally wouldn't ask them to do that. As a person with a few large tattoos I would find it rude UNLESS you made it clear to them when asking them to be bridesmaids that you expect that from them.

My sister from another mr's familty is 100% no tattoos and snotty conservative. She has tattoos everywhere and was a bridesmaid in a wedding for the family. The bride does not have tattoos, but refused to make the ladies who were tattooed to cover them up, she explained to her family that is a part of who they are and to have them cover them up is covering a part of there personality. She is 100000% CORRECT! I get the family issue, but it isnt there body, and they have absolutely no right to judge anyone. Wouldnt you rather look at wedding photos and see the natural beauty and uniqueness of each lady rather then them all covered up? I find this completely insane how weddings are getting that we are asking our bridesmaids to cover up there personality.... HOWEVER it is your wedding, so more power to you, and good luck with asking!

Michele, aren't you the one who didn't want your BMs to be pregnant during your wedding? How can you say OP should not have asked her BMs to be in her wedding at all if she want them to have tattoos when you were about to kick some BMs out for getting pregnant?

Nicoletta, you are one of the very few women on here who post something controversial (and you probably didn't even know it was a hot topic when you posted this), and don't get angry or upset at the feedback, even though some of it gets heated. I think you got the answers you were looking for, and good luck with whatever you choose!