tastefully collect money for Bachelorette party

Question. Are each of the guests required to spend the $100/person? Tell the bridesmaids ASAP. As for the guests, put it in the invitation - or at least, that's what I've seen.

I was invited to a co-worker's bachelorette party and the invite (which was an evite) said that the required cost would be about $100. It was a spa weekend and each guest was required to split the bride's spa services, meals and drinks, and the bride's hotel room. PLUS whatever food, hotel, and spa service we wanted. I promptly sent a "no" reply. Paying for the bride PLUS myself was out of my budget. Do your guests know in advance that it's going to be expensive? If not, then tell it in the invite because if they RSVP yes and then find out the price is above their budget, the conversation will turn awkward really fast.

I would put it in the invite. It might make a difference on if someone can go or not.

I think for my cousin's bachelorette party, her sister put it in the invitation what the approximate cost per person was going to be. I was a guest, not in the bridal party. Our cost included transportation and I can't remember but I think that we probably paid our "ticket price" (so to speak) in advance so the host wasn't out of pocket for everyone until the day of. We probably paid when we rsvp'd yes. It definitely can't be revealed after the rsvp because cost will determine whether or not some people can come.

I don't know anyone who would pay $100+ drinks, etc. to attend a party. You all must have some high-rolling friends. I would have an in person meeting with the bridesmaids and all plan together. Have three people go in on the hotel, have two people go in on the limo, etc. Each person pays for their own drinks and so-and-so pays for the bride. IDK, I would feel uncomfortable paying someone $200 and assuming it was going where it was supposed to.

For all the ones I've been to, it's a private FB group or message, and the costs are clearly laid out ahead of time so people can decide if they can afford it. It's also helpful to let people decide if they're coming to the whole thing or not, if you have that option. Let people pay you via PayPal, Venmo, etc ahead of time, as that's usually easiest. Cash or checks in person on the day of or waiting until the end is where it can get slightly awkward.

Every bachelorette party I've done/was invited to started out as a Facebook chat. No formal invite. The host of the party invites all who are invited into the chat with a low down of the details. If someone was game to go, they remained in the chat. Those who couldn't do it said "can't go" and exited out of the chat. It was the easiest way to get all of the details out and to keep track of who is still coming. Facebook may be tacky but man is it effective.

If I were invited I would tell you I skip the limo and id skip the hotel.

So Here's $25 for the bride

Be VERY upfront about the costs associated. The last bachelorette that I went to (besides my own), the MOH was very vague about the costs associated, but when a few of us pushed, she said we could keep our costs down by spending less at dinner, etc. The night of, she put everything on her AmEx card and then proceeded to tell us she would split the cost equally between everyone...which is not what we agreed on. During dinner, the bride and the MOH ordered 4 bottles of champagne, which was not shared with the whole table. Long story short, she asked us each to pony up $250 the next day via text, and included a breakdown of costs (dinner, hotel, spa). About five of us only went to dinner...so you can imagine how pissed we were. I'm not close to the MOH, she was the bride's childhood friend, but she made a lot of people very unhappy with that.

I've spent up to $400 to attend a bachelorette (I had to drive 8 hours to get there) and the least I've spent was $100 because the brides mom paid for our hotel and dinner and we stayed in the hotel (strippers came to us). So I think $100 for a limo, hotel and all that is a great deal.

My sister planned my bachelorette party, but I have been party of planning several bachelorette parties myself. A good way to start it is to get the email addresses of anyone the bride would like to invite. Figure out a good night/weekend for the bride and bridesmaids (its difficult to find a date that will fit EVERYONE'S schedules but do the best you can). From there, email anyone on the list about tentative plans for the bachelorette (vineyard hopping? brewery tour? dinner and dancing? weekend at the beach? weekend in Vegas? etc.). Do research ahead of time to figure out how much it will cost per person. If its something that the cost depends on how many people go, such as a weekend away, research hotel rooms/condos/ whatever and give the total cost, and explain the cost would be split among those attending. Ask people to let you know by a certain date if they would be interested in coming. Right off the bat, there may be people who are busy on that date, have young kids and can't come, can't afford it, whatever. Once you have a firm guest list, you can send out formal invitations. For my bachelorette party, we did a weekend away at the beach. Once we knew for sure who was coming, my sister collected the money from everyone and THEN sent out formal invitations once she had everyone's money.

Note: when I say "you" I mean your MOH lol

Personally, I think bachelorette parries are out of control.

But that's now what you asked.

Get their emails, send them an invite with your address to send you a check or paypal you.

I really think bachelorette/bachelor parties are changing because we are in a generation where people don't stay home after high school anymore. People my age end up living all over the country and world. They meet their spouse in places other than their hometown. The reason I had mine in New Orleans was because I was in NE and my girls were within driving distance of it. Either way, it would have been a weekend long thing if I wanted a bachelorette of any kind. When people are all spread out and someone is required to travel, it's bound to turn into something more than local bar hopping. I don't know many people my age who's situation was much different than ours when getting married.

It still adds to the overall cost of being an attendant, which is already crazy.

Please tell them prior to rsvps. I was in a friends wedding earlier this year. She flew into where I live along with another BM. All I knew was the date and that we were probably going downtown in a major city and it was going to be a weekend deal. A few days before the deal I find out a $450 per night hotel room was booked for us for two nights to be split between 3 bridesmaids. We were going for $100 massages, to dinner at an expensive sushi restaurant one night. The next night we racked up a $350 dinner bill. I love this friend and would have gone regardless but what I spent on the hotel was my weekend budget, it would have been nice to get a heads up

I'm hoping that my bridemaids went the cheap route...I actually suggested old-school slumber party with trashy chick flicks, popcorn, makeover parties, etc. (and maybe wine, now that we're not 11). $100 is reasonable, though. I was super thankful that I attended ones a few weeks ago that ended up being less than $150.

Um.......decline without regret.....sorry.

I would recommend doing a group message with everyone that will be invited either on facebook, email or group text. Make sure everyone is comfortable with what you will be spending and what you will be doing. Then together agree how it will be split. I think it would be easiest to have one person pay for everything then have everyone else give her cash or check, but some people may not be comfortable with that. Personally I don't think$100 is that crazy for a night out. A nice dinner and a few rounds of drinks alone could be a large portion of that. But not everyone can spend that.

Celia is right...these bachelorette parties are out of control. Tell the bridal party and other guests that this weekend will cost them hundreds of dollars per person in the form of hotel rooms, drinks, destination cities, splitting the cost for penis decor, limos, and the possibility of personal entertainment (in the form of strippers requiring a fee and a tip) and prepare for some declines. You'll get a better response if you realize that a local Friday or Saturday night out with the ladies will cut 75% off of that bill.

Geez, when I think back, we had fantastic ladies' nights without needing several thousands of dollars to mark the event. I'd be focused on those other guests the bride wants to attend her bachelorette party. You've got a bank roll currently funded by 10 BMs and a MOH totaling $2,200 . I don't know where you're going or how far you think $2,200 will go towards a limo, several hotel rooms, a bar tab, food, entertainment, breakfast/brunch, dinner, and the next day's entertainment for 12 women (plus other guests the bride wants to invite), but if the bride expresses her desire that other guests attend her bachelorette party (not in the bridal party), those ladies need to know that there is a price tag attached to this event. You need to let them know, as politely as possible, that without cash or a check,they should decline the wild weekend invitation. Sorry...I can't get behind this expense for anyone (especially after they've purchased a BM dress, shoes, and funded a shower).

Put it all in writing very early on and round UP!! Otherwise, if the girls find out at the last minute that it will be more expensive than they thought, they will drop like FLIES and the rest of you devoted friends will REALLY get stuck with a large bill!! I've seen it happen a million times. You're much better off over estimating than under estimating.

I think these Bachelorette extravaganzas are ridiculous.

I agree Celia, out of control! The last one I went to cost us just what we spent at dinner, plus cover at a bar, and we all knew that via the Facebook event in advance. I don't get the need for a whole weekend and making people spend a crap ton of money. We did crafts (decorated sunglasses) at the house, then went out for dinner and a piano bar. It was an amazing time! Some girls stayed over, we used Uber to get around, and everyone chipped in on snacks at the house. Personally, I would decline (and have) expensive festivities. As others have said, just be SUPER clear about the expenses from the get-go, you don't want to put anyone in an uncomfortable situation.