Tacky or Ok?

All of this sounds 100% fine to me!

I think your plan is completely fine. If you are not requiring something then you are not required to pay for it.

I think your plan sounds great! It is very similar to mine. My girls are paying for their makeup but doing their own hair. Also, same as you I will be paying for their nails in return for them paying for their own makeup.

I think you're mostly fine, but like others I think the nail polish is a little much. If you're having gel colors done, that color is going to (hopefully) last for a few weeks and I would be annoyed if I had to walk around with my nails a color I didn't like or have to pay to have the gel removed after the wedding.

I also am not a fan of trying to tell people what to do with their hair, just because hair can be such a personal thing for a lot of people. A lot of my self esteem is tied into how my hair looks, however odd that may seem. So if I was told to get a certain hair style and it made me self-conscious, I'd be really upset and so I'd probably pay for my own hair so I could get it done myself.

I totally agree with you, I'm paying for the hair and they're all having updos ... now they can pick whatever updo they want, but I want them to look coordinated and let's face it ... down hairstyles for a long event almost always end up looking a hot mess halfway through! It's very difficult to get a down style to last. Don't feel bad at all for choosing the style, that's something i've had to do as a bridesmaid for every wedding and totally normal!

If your paying for it I don't see it being tacky. If you made them pay for it and it had to be the color then probably.

I have never been to or in a wedding were all the girls had the same color nail polish though.

I dont think its tacky at all. I think you are being very generous and I am sure you brought gifts for them for the day of the wedding. I am also requiring that each of my ladies have the same nail color, hair style, and makeup. For makeup I am covering the deposit which is half of the price as a gift to them. Being a bridesmaid is costly. I was a first time bridesmaid last year and would have never thought it would cost that much but it was so worth.

Nope, not tacky at all. In fact, it is perfect, etiquette-wise. If you are requiring a service, you should pay for it. But if it's optional, then your BMs can still have that service, just pay for it themselves. I'm doing a similar thing with my girls.

I think what you are doing is very generous, actually.

I have never heard of requiring a certain nail polish. When both of my friends got married the bridesmaids asked if I wanted to go to the salon and I said no because I am fully capable of painting my own nails and have a bajillion colors! They didn't care what color I used. But since you're paying for it and offering the color to them I guess that's fine. Still kinda strange. It's not tacky if the makeup is optional! Both hair and makeup will be optional for my girls. My sister is doing her own makeup.

I don't think you should get a say in their hair or nails even if you are paying for them. I absolutely despise updos on myself and dont' care for the look of most on other people either. As much as I might love you, I'm not going to wear my hair like that. It will be done, and look polished and nice, but sorry - I dont' think you have the right to tell me how it should be done. Same with nails, that's just a silly thing that I guarantee you won't notice on the day of your wedding.

Nope your approach is more than reasonable! The rule of thumb is if it required then it should be paid for, since you are keeping it optional its on them if they want it