Tacky etiquette

I never thought giving bridesmaids the same gifts was tacky. In fact, I was under the impression that it was what most people did. I never heard the sweetheart table was tacky either. We're very happy we're having a sweetheart table.

And with sweetheart tables it just means the bride and groom have their own separate table but guests should sit with their spouses.

I don't necessarily think the same gift is tacky, but it is the fact of giving them wedding day "props" as gifts that is tacky (like giving them robes that you are making them wear for photos the morning of). If they all WANTED robes (outside of getting ready), that is different. Usually, personalized gifts (shopping like it is their birthday) is what is recommended.

You're thinking of a head table. I just think it's pretty rude to ask someone to support my marriage while not respecting their relationship. People should sit with their partners/dates.

It's not so much the fact that you're giving them all the same thing. However, it's frowned upon if it is a gift you're giving for the sole purpose of it being a prop (i.e. wearing the robes to take pictures for the wedding, a necklace you are requiring they wear on the wedding day, etc.)

Sweetheart tables are popular because it gives the bride/groom alone time and allows couples in your bridal party to sit together. You should never separate couples.

Everyone has always called the "head table" a sweetheart table I didn't know there was a difference. Lol

Robes and jewelry to wear at your wedding aren't gifts. Those are props.

I would not want to go to a wedding where I was separated from my SO.

Hello! I agree with everyone else, I think you meant a "head table" where the WP all sits with the bride and groom but not with their plus ones/SO's. I was a bridesmaid for a wedding recently and I was very sad for the whole dinner that I didn't get to sit with my FH. Besides that the bride and groom did NOT leave the table during the dinner so all of the other bridesmaids and groomsmen didn't know whether or not we could get up and walk around. We almost felt like we were being held hostage. Fun wedding, but just stunk that I didn't even see my own date the whole day/night.

I feel like if you have bridesmaids that really think that something you bought for them is "tacky" (tacky, gross, and rude are used way to loosely in this forum) that they could use after the wedding (that they like) prop or not, you have some pretty entitled bridesmaids!

Traditions are really getting out of hand

Sucks that happened to you Melissa. That was really rude of the couple to do that to you and your SO. It does kind of "tie" your attention solely onto the wedding couple, doesn't it?

@OP Every wedding I have been to has also had a head table. I have been separated from my SO a few times and it never bothered me. I never heard of it being frowned upon until I came to this forum.

As for the gifts, the only reason it would be considered tacky is if you are requiring your BM to wear these items for photos and during the wedding. Shop for them like you would their birthday or if you do get them the same gifts consider doing smaller items that they might use everyday. For example, I am giving a bottle of wine, candles, bath bombs, perfume, and gift cards to their favorite restaurants along with the robe and a monogrammed tote bag.

@Jacks I didn't mind sitting at the head table at first, I just thought that is how weddings worked and I was fine with it. But we got done eating and we all just..sat there. I didn't know what to do, I thought it would be rude to get up even though we all were done eating. The bride kept on looking where her dad was (talking to my dad) and saying over and over, "Dad! Why don't you come over here? Why doesn't he come over here?" under her breath, but still loud enough for just the head table to hear. That is why we thought we couldn't leave. The Bride wanted to talk to her father so bad, but was trying to tell him telepathically instead to getting up and chatting with him. ALL guests were walking around except for us, dinner was over for 20 more minutes until we finally got up. My dad even asked me the next day, "Why the heck didn't you guys get up? Everyone was talking that you guys wouldn't move." And I was shocked saying I didn't think I was allowed to move.

Sorry for the storybook, just a learning experience for me and for anyone reading this. If you plan on having a head table that is 100% completely fine. But maybe let first time bridesmaids know that when they are done eating it is okay to get up and mingle before the DJ starts the dances. lol! It was my mistake too, I could have walked up at anytime, but I really honestly thought I would have been rude.

It's not tacky to give jewelry as long as it's not specifically for the wedding. I got my girls pendant necklaces, (all different patterns) and it was just for them to wear. Not necessarily for the wedding. A few of them actually did wear them though, which I thought was cool!

I highly doubt they all contacted you and said, please purchase me a robe. Sorry, not buying it.

Shop for them like its their birthday.

Kate- I think Christy is saying, she would prefer something generic since she hates the "shop for them like its their birthday" line. lol

Cheap robes for everyone!!!

I shopped for my BM like it was their birthday, and honestly it was a helluva lot more fun. I tried the whole matching bags/robes thing and it was making me miserable. I just couldn't see any of them actually liking that stuff... I can't wait to give them their presents!

As for my FH - he got everyone in his party the same thing, but at the very least it's not a prop. Sterling silver money clips with their last names engraved in them. I'm sure they'll all like them. For the record, I spent between 30-50 for each person.

I'm also giving them the jewelry to wear for the wedding - I like to spoil my friends, so I figured I'd just go ahead and buy their jewelry. They'll probably wear it again (very simple, cute stuff).

I think it's best to shop like it's their birthday, but if you come across something that you think they all would like, there's nothing wrong with getting everyone the same thing if you can add some personal touches to them. My BMs and I all love wine, so I made them each a personalized wine glass, and I got them jewelry that wasn't for the wedding. I bought jewelry that was to each of their preferences, and I wrote them each a heartfelt letter.

I got both of mine jewellery sets they were both different but went with thier dresses, I told them if they wanted to ware them it was up to them, they loved them and did. As for head table, I have never been to a wedding that didn't have one and the SOs of BP always sat with other family /friends. It was the same every time I've been bridesmaid never bothered me, or my DH has been groomsman as I don't mind chatting to other people while eating. The bridal party aren't tied to thier chairs and can walk around between courses. At mine we even had MOHs daughter wander up yjoin us at the head table for desert. Nobody batted an eyelid, it's just dinner. I know we often do things differently in Ireland to US, but I know pleanty of people on here have said they have always been to weddings that were done the same way. I would say though if you decide to have a head table perhaps talk to your bridal party if you think they might have issues with it and might be uncomfortable.

Yes I've learned a lot about what people find tacky and rude from this forum lol. im trying really hard to not do anything tacky or have bad etiquette at my wedding, we will see.