Surprise bachelorette party - am I wrong?

A spinoff from all of the surprise talk- didn't you think your shower was last weekend? Was it?

Yea, I really hate surprises, but my MOH wanted the Bachelorette to be a surprise. We just compromised, she told me what I'd need to wear (it's a Friday night through Saturday night affair) and what weekend to take off from work. But I don't know any details, which is really what she wanted to hide. Just talk to your MOH. She should understand.

I would hate that too - I have to know things like that...so I know the basics of what we are doing, and my sister knows I don't like suprises so I know just about everything, it's next week so I am prepared....I'd really talk to her about your concerns

Although I don't think its something to get upset about, I think you should be grateful that you have and MOH that is taking this on, and maybe she hasn't planned it yet (you still have plenty of time before your wedding) or maybe she hasn't finalized any details yet...the party may be for you, but right now, this is her show and let her run with it. I would stop asking her and just tell her that all you are looking for, information wise, is what she would or suggest (or maybe ask what she is wearing) on that night. If she doesn't tell you then, just let her know that all you want is to know what to go shopping to wear that night for and leave it that.

I'm trying not to bug her but it has been made clear to me that it is planned, I just can't know anything. I honestly do like surprises and don't need a ton of detail. I just wish they would give me a timeframe and an idea of what to wear/bring.

I'm not concerned that I won't like it - I'm pretty easy going and would be happy with just about anything - MOH is amazing and knows my no strippers rule. I trust her to doña fantastic job, I just want to be prepared.

I'm in the same boat, they won't tell me anything! My bridesmaids and MOH are ALSO keeping my bridal shower a surprise! I am not the type of person who likes surprises either, so I'm feeling anxious.. I asked my mom about the bridal shower and she doesn't know the details either..

Saying this from a different point of view: when you ask you MOH for details do you do it kind if jokingly, or have you let her know that it is stressing you out and you would really prefer to know at least the date?

When I was MOH last and planned the bachelorette party, I put in a lot if effort to plan a really special event. One of those things was keeping all of the details as a surprise for the bride, because that's how I thought it was suppose to go.

I'm going to guess this girl is not married herself and hasn't gone through the planning process. Now that I'm planning, I feel like such a jerk for not giving my friend details, but at the time, that's teally what I thought would make the event special for her.

I think your MOH has planned an event and is trying to make this something special for you. If you want to know details talk with her levelly and let her know that you are feeling stressed and would really appreciate knowing x and y.

Secondly, have you asked your FH if he knows anything? She may have checked things through with him.

Sorry for all the typos- on my phone

Yes the date & what to wear is a good idea

To me, it sounds like you don't trust her ability to throw you a party you would be comfortable with. If she is going to keep a surprise and you have tried to snag details from Bridesmaids, and no one is budging, try to let it go. There are so many other things to put your energy towards. Worrying about a party that someone who loves you is planning to celebrate shouldn't be one of them.

edited: to complete sentence

I'm planning mine(general activities) because I just hate surprises. I also have to mentally prepare for a night out and I like to control my portions for the day so I can drink and not feel totally gross. Perhaps the bridesmaids can give you some info once they find out?

I definitely think she should give you a date and how to appropriately dress. It would irritate me not knowing bc I have little furbabies to take care of and FH and I work opposite schedules so whenever either is gone for any days we have to enlist people to help us with our boys. Also knowing what to wear is essential. I am guessing she will give you little details the closer it gets, maybe she doesnt want you to think about the possibilities and spoil the surprise if she gives you clues now... keep us updated!

I kept my sisters a surprise but I did tell her to have a party dress ready. Maybe keep asking about what go wear.

My bridemaids did this to me. I was completely frustrated. We ended up going to atlantic city and going to a nightclub in the casino. And I hated it. But grateful that they put time into planning everything.

Why don't you talk to her about your clothing concerns & go shopping together. Pick out 3-4 outfits that could work with different scenarios that she might plan. Then figure out an approximate amount it should cost & give it to her to go purchase the right outfit for w/e she planned, or have her go up to the register with all of them & ur card & you go outside & she can tell the lady at the register to keep the unwanted items. This way you know you'll be wearing something you like regardless of what the plans are, but the other outfits throw you off. MOH can have the outfit so you can change once you're surprised.

Great idea Vicky!!!! Going to take your advice for my similar situation too!

Honestly, if it were me, I would have a serious conversation with her. It would go something like this "tell me the date and and idea of what to wear or cancel the whole damn thing!"

I am a C word yes, but what if you had something else planned? Or if the bought you an outfit that didn't fit. I have some elements of surprise with mine, but I know the date, location, and what to wear. My BM even let me pick the restaurant since I am a picky eater.