Sudden family death.. wedding Sat

Wow that is so weird, I am going through almost the exact same thing (the story's up on the forum if you want details). I am actually the bridesmaid though. I can't really help you, since we are confused about what to do too! I am sorry the DIL is giving you a hard time, everyone needs to stick together at a time like this! Like you said, your Aunt would have wanted you to celebrate your wedding.

I know this is tough but you have to do what is right for you and FH. You know in heart that you paid your respects to her and heck you can honor her at the wedding! Peace and blessings to you my dear.

Try and focus on celebrating her life along with your marriage instead of focusing on the fact she is no longer with you. i'm sorry for your loss.

I think you answered your own question when you said your Aunt Rosemary would be mad if you canceled your wedding plans. I'm sure you can find a way to honor her memory as well.

Oh my goodness, what a nightmare. Ignore the daughter-in-law, she's not in the position that you are in, unless someone also died around her wedding. Go forward with your day as you would have, just be sensitive to those who may be grieving. I feel for you!

I'm sorry she's giving you a hard time, but I know that if I died and something was scheduled, I would definitely be upset if it DIDN'T go on! Sorry, DS just signed his most recent will yesterday. LOL. So all this stuff is on my brain. You are doing what you KNOW is best, so go forward.

Thank you all. I guess just hearing others opinions helps me alot. We are going ahead with our wedding for sure. I am going to be respectful at the viewing and funeral and not mention Sat, unless asked. Of course I will be crying and grieving to, its going to be hard, but I have a feeling the sun will be shinning down and everything will be perfect cause Aunt Rosemary will be watching over us

My condolences to you and your family. But death is a part of life and like you said, your aunt would be mad if the wedding didn't go on. I think if you did something special at the ceremony, like a memory candle, and then maybe said a few words at the reception that would be very fitting. Your aunt's life will be remembered and celebrated at her funeral, and you and your fiance's wedding should be celebrated on your day. Don't get sucked into the other relative's drama. Unfortunately some people do not handle their grief very well and behave very badly. And by all means, don't feel guilty for being happy. It's your wedding day and I'm sure she would have wanted you be to be happy on your wedding day.

I'm so sorry to hear that. Would honoring her in a way on your wedding day help soften the blow to the person causing a tiff right now? Something as simple as a hurricane vase with a candle burning in it either at the alter or in her seat?

I am so very sorry for your loss. In 1998, I had an Aunt that was catering to her husband's step-mom's funeral luncheon at her home for their family. She had bent down to get the casserole out of the oven and fell over. After being rushed to the ER they told us is was a burst brain aneurysm and that she wouldn't survive unless on life support forever. The same day, my uncle had the machines turned off and her good organs were donated and we actually received a letter from two people, 1 got her eyes and 1 got her liver. There were others but only 2 chose to write. It was a hard lose, sudden deaths I think are the worse to have to manage. I hope that you have a wonderful wedding and I am sure you'll honor her there and have her spirit with you

I have had clients whose parent died the week of (one bride's mother died two days before). they had the wedding anyway. Realistically, how would anyone expect you to cancel the wedding?? so---you lose all the money you spent and then have to start over?? I am extreeeemely sympathetic, but I am also realistic. as Karen suggested, choose to do something at either the ceremony or reception, but not both...and make it very brief..it is not the funeral.

I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly what you are going through. My husbands best friend was killed in a car accident the day before our wedding, 6 weeks ago. It was the hardest thing i have ever been through in my entire life and still is. Every day is so hard, i still cry every day. He was 24 and a huge part of my husband and my life. We went on with the wedding because thats what Cody would have wanted. He was looking soooo forward to our wedding day, had a speech planned, was our "backup" bestman we called him. Justins brother was his best man for the "right" reason, but we both wanted cody as the bestman It will be tough to celebrate for the right reason, but make sure you enjoy YOUR day! I hope everyone is able to put what happened behind them for you guys and help you celebrate your marriage! Everyone was able to do that for us, and we were able to have a good time. Remember her and remember that she wants you to have an amazing time on your day!

I am so SORRY for your loss. I have lost my father, his sister, my uncle and another aunt since the planning stages (last 9 months) of my wedding and this is so hard. I can't imagine the loss being so close to the wedding date. I think it would be simply amazing and loving to honor her at your wedding. You can keep a seat for her and place a picture of her there or a photo at the sign in table. I sure hope that this will be a time you can all relish in the joy of living and moving forward while holding/honoring the past that gets us all where we are. Good luck to you and your family!!!!

I know if I were to pass and some one were to get married shortly after, I would want their wedding to continue. I would feel terrible if a couple delayed their happiness over my death.

With that said, you have already discussed this with family, and they have agreed. Granted, it seems as though your wedding may have a bit of a somber tone, but if the majority of family is in agreement the wedding should continue, what is one person's (DIL) opinion? I would imagine guilt may be part of it - I might feel the same. But your wedding is about starting a new life with your husband, and that is probably something this aunt would have been very, very happy for!