Subs/sandwiches for Reception??

Hi Megan,

Personally, I wouldn't advise making your own food. Not for etiquette sake (although people do feel strongly about that), but because it is likely going to put a lot of extra stress on you and your family to try and get it prepared in time. If you want to do subs, Publix has deli catering options that might work for you. I don't know your budget, but in terms of catering it's pretty affordable and the most work your family would have to do would be pick-up and plating. Just a suggestion. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Hey Megan! I would say so subs or wraps already made this way people can grab and go. I did turkey and ham for a family gathering using the Hawaiian rolls and it turned out fine. I can see the sandwich layout getting too messy. Unless your budget allows Italian food go for it. Are you wanting everyone to get full or is it just a ‘pre snack’ before the actual meal at 5pm?

I'm not sure why your future mom-in-law subs/sandwiches would not be “wedding food”,or “not good enough for a wedding”, unless she shows you a proof they are not, such as a bill/law issued by a state or the federal government 🙂. They are not traditional but it's not uncommon nowadays. I've been to weddings in the last decade with non- traditional food: 3-4 with pizza, 2 with BBQ and one with a food truck.
If she feels that strongly, could you provide a separate meal for her so she can have a more traditional meal and you, your fiancé and your mom can still have the sandwiches for everyone else?

How will you be keeping all of that at food safe temperatures? There are standards that need to be followed for storage and preparation of food. Does your venue know and approve of the self-catering? Those are all valid concerns when it comes to self-catering.

Your FMIL sounds like she's concerned about good hosting. What was your plan re: italian food?

The menu choice should fit the formality of the wedding and the time of day. Your planned menu would suit a casual venue at lunch time. Is there any way you could order pre-made sandwiches from a restaurant to be delivered and served at your location?

Hi, Megan! I really like your idea of serving subs/sandwiches! The inspiration display looks great. As a guest, I would not have a problem with this kind of food. Best wishes to you and your SO!

Honestly those inspo photos look pretty nice. but i do think it might be faster or easier just buying pre made wraps and rolls and sandwiches as some PPs have mentioned

View Quoted Comment

This would be my concern too. The formality of the event may have some bearing on the menu. I'd also be hesitant about self-catering due to prep time, storage, set-up time, etc. Another idea would be to get catering trays from an Olive Garden or GFS or something and serve them buffet style.

That being said, if the sandwich trays fit the formality and you have somewhere to store them, someone to help with the prep work, etc. then I don't think it would be a problem to have them.

I totally get concerns about wanting to make it easy on your family! And I also understand that budgets are real!

I'd definitely look into catering options from your local grocery stores. Many stores, or even some family restaurants, have great options for sandwich trays, or pasta trays or other various things that are easy to keep in the fridge, and pop in the oven (in the case of pasta) and serve to feed a lot of hungry people. And they are usually pretty affordable, perhaps not quite as inexpensive if you are just buying all the ingredients, but it will also save you a lot of time and some of your sanity!

While the photos look nice, I think it is important to realize that the amount of food in the photos would feed approximately 15 people. You will need at least 5 times the amount for your wedding. That is a lot of food to keep hot OR cold to ensure it is safe to eat, along with a lot of refilling trays, etc.

View Quoted Comment

I agree with this. 80 people is actually *a lot* of people to cater for, even casually. Not to mention 80 people going through a buffet line of sandwich fixings (rather than pre-made sandwiches), will take *a long* time, and it will get messy fast. The same family members who have to prepare/store/keep cold/package/transport/set up all of that food will also have to stay on hand to keep the buffet stocked/refilled and tidy. And then of course, there's all that clean up.

I think a lot more thinking need to go into this before you decide how to feed your guests.

Personally, I would not advise you to prepare your own food. Not for etiquette's sake (though some people strongly disagree), but because it will likely add a lot of stress to you and your family to get it ready on time.

You do you. This can all be put together 1-2 days before with one empty fridge to keep the trays cool.

I just don't get why so many people think that people can't pull this off in a safe and fun way.

As far as family "having to help"... if you have a family like mine, this is part of the fun! A few hours the day before getting together to gossip/chat/gab/laugh/socialize???? Fun!!!!

Tip: Do check Cosco /Bjs or whatever wholesale place is near you. I recently hosted a housewarming event and right now I couldn't beat the price of buying their deli platters opposed to putting together my own.

Lasagna is a simple way add on if you feel it necessary.

Good luck with everything!!

So many things go wrong with cooking and setting up your own food. Food safety is the main one and the reason for licensing. Also you won’t have time or space to cook/prep. Many venues don’t allow homemade food, and while they may allow outside catering, it must be from a licensed caterer. Meaning, you can have food from Costco deli or Subway brought in but you can’t cook anything yourselves.


Many weddings have sandwiches. Maybe not subs but tea sandwiches. And the layout similar to the photos is plentiful enough that it will tides guests over before going out to eat a full meal after the reception has ended. Because this type of reception is very light and is either served in place of lunch or between meal times. A full meal is not required in general and many receptions in church fellowship halls and local community centers have deli catering and finger sandwiches and everyone is happy with it. If someone doesn’t like it, they have the option to decline the invitation. However because your reception is at 5pm which is considered meal time in some circles, you need much more substantial food, unless you are located in an area where it gets too hot to eat a full meal. If cost is a concern, ask a favorite local restaurant to provide drop off catering. Make sure that they or a local rental company provide chafing dishes and burners to keep food at the proper temperatures for safety.

View Quoted Comment

Agreed, 80 people is not a small wedding and probably needs a genuine caterer unless the whole family agrees to chip in potluck style or something. A close family only wedding is more like 30-40 people.

Definitely look into some wholesale stores where you could get large amounts of food.

My parents did mine and my siblings graduation parties on their own with 150+ people at each of them. It is possible, it's just a lot of work. If you have the support of people to help you, let them help. Just make sure you have the fridge space to store things once they are prepared. I think the idea is fine. If anyone has an issue, that's on them. This is your decision, especially if you are the one paying for it. Just make sure that you have some extra sides if you are doing a sub bar. Make it more of a picnic style with different salads and sides. It will work if you're willing to put the work in

View Quoted Comment

All of this. It's not as simple as just laying out all the fixings for the sandwiches.

View Quoted Comment

I will definitely search at Costco! I live close to one. I have lots of family members willing to help me out, too. There are 2 industrial sized refrigerators at the venue (which is a private family farm that my fiancé's family owns). Thank you for the picnic style idea!

View Quoted Comment

I love non-traditional foods. A pizza or barbeque wedding sounds like so much fun! Thank you for the input.

View Quoted Comment

Hi! So our venue is actually a family farm which my fiancé's family owns. Our reception will be inside an air conditioned building, which has an attached full-sized kitchen with industrial sized refrigerators! They also have a couple of chafing dishes since they do lots of parties, reunions, and church services there. Part of the reason we are getting married at that location is to be able to use whichever vendors we choose, rather than being constricted to certain rules. Thank you for your suggestions!

View Quoted Comment

Yes, thank you! My thoughts exactly. My family is eager to help me and we all agree that it's fun to plan and make food together. I've had at least half a dozen family members already offer to help prepare food.

Our reception will be inside an air conditioned building, which has an attached full-sized kitchen with industrial sized refrigerators! They also have a couple of chafing dishes since they do lots of parties, reunions, and church services there. Part of the reason we are getting married at that location is to be able to use whichever vendors we choose, rather than being constricted to certain rules.

I will definitely check Costco too! Thank you!