Step sister using same colors

HA! I don't want to be rude, and I hate to burst ur bubble here, but do u seriously believe that any one of your guests actually cares what ur colors are?I can barely remember the colors of any wedding I've been to. People will go to your wedding to share the joy of you starting a new life with the love of your life, not to find out which unique color combo u chose. Get some perspective, colors, flowers, etc are all just decoration. They are NOT the end all be all of ur life. Choose the colors that u love and that reflect u, as ur wedding should be. I guarantee u that someone, somewhere has used the colors that u will be using, but they will still be special in YOUR wedding because they are YOURS. U have a long time until your wedding, if you start getting this tripped up by the tiniest details already it will be a LONG year! You will not "look like the bad guy" for not changing your wedding colors, trust me! enjoy this time in your life, don't let petty stuff mess that up! Good Luck

I don't really share Laura's "No One Cares" Attitude, I get what she's saying. But I think it's important for you to be happy. I would be pissed if I were you. My Hubby's step-sister was supposed to get married May 2008 & we had our date set for Valentine's Day '09 since Nov. '06 (when we got engaged). Then, she postponed her wedding to 3 weeks before mine!! I was so pissed. I knew it wouldn't change anything with my wedding, but it still made me mad because everyone, including her, knew our date and she still made it for that close to mine! She ended up postponing it again, so it worked out. But I just know how you're feeling. Since your wedding is in a year, you have a lot of time to plan and her wedding is coming up soon. If it were me... I'd take notes. =) go to her wedding and think of all the things you can do to 1-up her. People might not remember your colors, and you might have the same colors... but your wedding will be better!! Don't change your colors! You're not a bad guy!

The idea of trying to 1-up your step sister sounds like a lame romantic comedy... or Bride Wars. I agree with Laura. Do whatever makes you happy, and it shouldn't be about trying to "out do" your step sister. Obviously your family knows you decided on your colors first, and his family won't be at her wedding so they will never know anyways. Turning it into a competition will just make you look silly and childish.

Yeah, trying to "one-up" your sister may be childish...but it was childish of her to pick your colors.

I agree that no one would remember if you do it a little differently. And by the way, don't share anymore details with her. I actually don't share any details with other women that are getting married (that I know) because I don't want my ideas to be stolen.

I also think you should take mental notes and "build upon" her ideas to make them better =)

I would personally just stick with your colors if that is what you wanted originally... Your wedding is a year after hers so I dont think it would be a huge deal and who knows, by then you also may change your mind as well... I wouldnt get too upset about it though, colors dont make the wedding, your future husband and you do

I understand you being upset about her choosing your exact same colors, that kinda sucks. But just look at it this way...unless the two of you have the EXACT same style, the liklihood of the two weddings looking alike is slight. Think of all the other elements that play into the overall feeling and ambiance of a wedding...time of day, venue, attire, decor, formality...the same color can look completely different in an alternate context. Don't sweat it! Keep planning the way you have been, try not to share ideas with her that are really special to you, and just make it as much your own as you would have had she not chosen those colors. ENJOY your planning process and don't let this get to you! Chances are the two celebrations will look COMPLETELY different. Good luck!

I have 16 cousins, 15 of which were married. In the 80's the big color was teal. I think I went to about 5 teal weddings within about 2 years. But they were all unique because the couples were unique. Don't worry, just come up with details that are totally personal. That's what makes it your wedding and not hers. OWN IT!

I can see you being upset that it seems like she changed the color to match yours on purpose, but...maybe she looks up to you and wants to be like you!

Did you talk to her and tell her it bothers you?

Dont get me wrong, but who cares!! I started off wanting cream and pale green with bright purple and because of the date I got (fall) ended up going to burnt orange and cream with brick accents and then changed them again when none of the BM's looked good in any of those so now I am at dark apple red, dark chocolate and burnt orange accents. Colors change, the wedding itself does not. Don't let the fact that someone close to you is using the same colors you are, just try to do something different with them. Maybe make what was your accent color your main color and what was your main color your accent color. Switch up the decor and use different flowers. The same color and look so different when used different ways. And I agree with laura on the fact that you shouldn't let yourself get this upset this early over something as simple as colors.

Yes! LadyVet... you worded it way better than I did. I didn't mean for it to sound like a childish thing, and for you to tell people "Mine is better..." I just meant, doing that would be something that would make ME feel better, in my own head. You should think of something that might make you feel better (besides her not taking your colors!!) And I can't stand when someone is on here asking for help and people say "Who Cares..." obviously, Jane, YOU CARE, and that is what's MOST important. I know how much work and time and how many emotions go into planning a wedding, and I know some people don't care about what colors they pick or what their dress looks like, but for those of us who do... I think saying who cares is like a slap in the face. I think if you are gonna say Who Cares? that means you obviously don't care... so why even answer the question? Just my opinion! =) I hope everything works our girlie, and I hope you have a FABULOUS wedding!! Good Luck!

It's very easy for us all to lose perspective at times when getting swept up in the million details involved in planning a wedding. I don't think that reminding someone not to stress over the small stuff is a bad thing. I think that's is part of helping on here. I have certainly had to be reminded of that myself when freaking out over something I shouldn't be and I was grateful for people on here telling me it wasn't as big a deal as I thought it was. The poster saying "who cares" was not meant the way you are taking it at all. I also don't agree with being afraid of your wedding ideas being "Stolen", one of us are inventing the wheel here, it's all been done before. To be so insecure that you're afraid that by sharing ideas with others and helping them make their day special will lesson the importance of your own day is the pettiest thing I've ever heard. I am flattered when someone else uses my ideas and I'm happy I helped someone. Each wedding is unique, and not because of color

I think when people say "who cares" they mean to say that most people, aside from the bride, do not care about the colors at a wedding. They may notice how beautiful the colors are on the day of the wedding, but they will not remember it later. Other than my sister's wedding (which I was in, and still have the BM dress!) I cannot remember the color scheme of ANY wedding that I have attended. Since Jane's wedding is a year after her sister's, most people will not even remember that she had the same colors, except perhaps close family members. And, like others have said, it's so easy to do the same colors in a completely different way that the weddings will seem totally different even with similar colors.

Perhaps saying "who cares" is not the most tactful way of putting it, but I think their point is valid!

I know what you are going through ... and the who care comments are obviously not coming from people that are going through the same thing. My FH's brother got engaged a few weeks ago and is planning his wedding only a month after ours ... then when he had his e-party got angry at me when people were asking me about my wedding ...

you can't win!! you are not the bad guy if you do not change your colors ... do what you want! Feel free to email me if you want to talk

I understand where you are coming from Jane. Try to look at it this way, if you end up keeping the colors you have chosen, you could use left overs from your step sisters wedding. And I know your thinking "No Way" but think about it. At first I had chosen colors that one of my FSIL had used, and she offered everything she had left over to help save on money, and I would be able to tweek and change whatever I disliked, and make it my own. (I ended up choosing totally dif. colors) Who knows, you may end up liking totally dif. colors after her wedding. You'll see those colors side by side, and you may not like the way they look. I would try and not to get worked up by this matter. I dont see how you could be the bad guy if you dont change your colors. I mean, you did have them first but dont belittle yourself but arguing that. Take it as flattery that she found your colors so pretty!! Just take it in strides and try to enjoy your planning! Good luck!

Ok, I see I need to correct what MY idea of what "who cares" means. I know you care about your colors, but should not be upset because someone else is using them. Maybe they are in the same boat I was, had colors you loved but because of outside forces had to change them. And even if she is doing it to be mean, ingnore it. If you get upset, she has won. And to the last poster, No im not going through the same exact issues, but have had my own issues with family and friends making plans for me, getting pissy when they dont like mine, inviting people I dont even know and telling me I have to cut my friends from the list and some just down right rude. You cant let yourself get upset over these little things or you will not even enjoy the day.