Spin Off: How do you handle a friend cheating in their marriage?

I have been in both situations, being cheated on and having friends that cheated on their partners. When I was the one who was cheated on, I used the info I received, confronted my ex and still got upset with my friends… (so crazy, I know). I didn’t want to believe them fully. If I could go back, I would have changed that part and still continued to be friends with those people because they were only looking out for me. I think I was just so embarrassed that I chose to still stay with that guy because 1. He was so abusive 2. I was homeless and it was his fault, so I depended on him 3. I was pregnant and miscarried his child so I was guilty as well. The crazy part is, I have never cheated nor will I ever. I don’t believe in it. I think if you have feelings outside the relationship, break it off honestly so you don’t cheat..

As far as having friends who cheat, I stayed true to my friend, while also telling her “you’re an idiot and being horrible”. She didn’t listen and I distanced myself but not before I figured out why she was cheating as well as seeing if my advice would be a benefit. Since she got mad etc. I distanced myself.

I think that if stuff is none of my business I should stay out of it aside from the normal friend boundaries of honest opinions and advice.

I've been cheated on before. It sucks, it hurts, it messes with your self-esteem and faith in people for years. Infidelity is a terrible, horrible thing.

That being said, I don't ever pretend to know that I know what my friends are going through at home. I don't know what their relationships are like behind closed doors. I don't know if their wives are bitches or if their husbands hit them. I cannot honestly say that I will immediately cut ties with a friend because they're finding joy outside of their marriages. That has nothing to do with their relationship with me. Yeah, I'll very likely tell them I don't agree with what they're doing (if they ask for my opinion, because I don't readily give those out without being asked either), but to drop a friend without question and indiscriminately? Not in me to do that, despite my opinions on fidelity.

I'm currently pretending like it never happened. My best friend slept with another one of my best friends, who has been in a relationship for years. We've all been one big group since freshman year. When she told me what happened, I told her she's a horrible person. He, on the other hand, doesn't know that I know, and I'm going to keep it that way. He just told me recently that he's about to propose to his girlfriend (who obviously still doesn't know that she's been cheated on). Not my story to tell. Can't wait for that wedding! This all happened over year ago

If my best friend was cheating, I wouldn't tell on her but if her husband came and asked me, I would tell him the truth. If I caught him cheating I would tell him he has X amount of time to tell her himself or I will. My best friend knows what I would do.

To be honest, and it might sound terrible, but I would probably just mind my own business and just be their friend and likely not even judge them. I don't really like to meddle in my friends' lives even if what they are doing is wrong. Cheating is just awful though, I can't imagine ever doing it to a partner and feeling okay about myself, especially because I wouldn't want it done to me.

ETA: Wow, I just noticed how old this post is. Weird, it was within the first few pages. Maybe some sort of error?

I suspect my bestfriend my be entertaining other guys / cheating on her husband. I just mind my own business

I still have too much baggage from being cheated on in such a way that everyone knew but me. I forgave the first time, the second time he left us for her.
A am pretty sure any friend of mine would not take me into their confidence - they would know it would cause pain and that I would have to distance myself.
I know that cheating is often complicated and would not hate them or think they were evil, but I could not support cheating.

There is no excuse for cheating and I would tell them that if I found myself in that situation with a friend. There is absolutely no reason you can't get the balls to tell them the truth before you want to go to someone else. It's the most disrespectful thing a person can do to another person in my opinion and I wouldn't be able to be friends with that person anymore until they did the right thing which is to tell the truth.

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