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Snarky
Master September 2014

Spin Off: How do you handle a friend cheating in their marriage?

Snarky, on August 6, 2015 at 4:00 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 49

Emma & Aaron: I don't know why you hid your post, I was just typing something that came off more supportive. I didn't mean to be offensive. Your post brought up an interesting point for discussion: What does one do when their friend/someone close cheats in their marriage? I haven't experienced this,...

Emma & Aaron: I don't know why you hid your post, I was just typing something that came off more supportive. I didn't mean to be offensive.

Your post brought up an interesting point for discussion: What does one do when their friend/someone close cheats in their marriage? I haven't experienced this, but I think if a married friend cheated the only thing you can do is be supportive. I think some people would probably end the friendship though. What would you do? What have you done?

49 Comments

  • Finally Mrs Gee
    Master April 2015
    Finally Mrs Gee ·
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    I have been in both situations, being cheated on and having friends that cheated on their partners. When I was the one who was cheated on, I used the info I received, confronted my ex and still got upset with my friends… (so crazy, I know). I didn’t want to believe them fully. If I could go back, I would have changed that part and still continued to be friends with those people because they were only looking out for me. I think I was just so embarrassed that I chose to still stay with that guy because 1. He was so abusive 2. I was homeless and it was his fault, so I depended on him 3. I was pregnant and miscarried his child so I was guilty as well. The crazy part is, I have never cheated nor will I ever. I don’t believe in it. I think if you have feelings outside the relationship, break it off honestly so you don’t cheat..

    As far as having friends who cheat, I stayed true to my friend, while also telling her “you’re an idiot and being horrible”. She didn’t listen and I distanced myself but not before I figured out why she was cheating as well as seeing if my advice would be a benefit. Since she got mad etc. I distanced myself.

    I think that if stuff is none of my business I should stay out of it aside from the normal friend boundaries of honest opinions and advice.

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  • P
    Savvy January 2016
    Private User ·
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    I've been cheated on before. It sucks, it hurts, it messes with your self-esteem and faith in people for years. Infidelity is a terrible, horrible thing.

    That being said, I don't ever pretend to know that I know what my friends are going through at home. I don't know what their relationships are like behind closed doors. I don't know if their wives are bitches or if their husbands hit them. I cannot honestly say that I will immediately cut ties with a friend because they're finding joy outside of their marriages. That has nothing to do with their relationship with me. Yeah, I'll very likely tell them I don't agree with what they're doing (if they ask for my opinion, because I don't readily give those out without being asked either), but to drop a friend without question and indiscriminately? Not in me to do that, despite my opinions on fidelity.

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  • KM
    Master March 2015
    KM ·
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    I'm currently pretending like it never happened. My best friend slept with another one of my best friends, who has been in a relationship for years. We've all been one big group since freshman year. When she told me what happened, I told her she's a horrible person. He, on the other hand, doesn't know that I know, and I'm going to keep it that way. He just told me recently that he's about to propose to his girlfriend (who obviously still doesn't know that she's been cheated on). Not my story to tell. Can't wait for that wedding! This all happened over year ago

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  • MrsA
    Master October 2015
    MrsA ·
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    If my best friend was cheating, I wouldn't tell on her but if her husband came and asked me, I would tell him the truth. If I caught him cheating I would tell him he has X amount of time to tell her himself or I will. My best friend knows what I would do.

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  • K&M
    Dedicated August 2018
    K&M ·
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    To be honest, and it might sound terrible, but I would probably just mind my own business and just be their friend and likely not even judge them. I don't really like to meddle in my friends' lives even if what they are doing is wrong. Cheating is just awful though, I can't imagine ever doing it to a partner and feeling okay about myself, especially because I wouldn't want it done to me.

    ETA: Wow, I just noticed how old this post is. Weird, it was within the first few pages. Maybe some sort of error?

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  • MIWM
    VIP June 2019
    MIWM ·
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    I suspect my bestfriend my be entertaining other guys / cheating on her husband. I just mind my own business

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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    I still have too much baggage from being cheated on in such a way that everyone knew but me. I forgave the first time, the second time he left us for her.
    A am pretty sure any friend of mine would not take me into their confidence - they would know it would cause pain and that I would have to distance myself.
    I know that cheating is often complicated and would not hate them or think they were evil, but I could not support cheating.
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  • Ariel
    Dedicated August 2021
    Ariel ·
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    There is no excuse for cheating and I would tell them that if I found myself in that situation with a friend. There is absolutely no reason you can't get the balls to tell them the truth before you want to go to someone else. It's the most disrespectful thing a person can do to another person in my opinion and I wouldn't be able to be friends with that person anymore until they did the right thing which is to tell the truth.

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  • J
    Just Said Yes February 2016
    Jan ·
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    I had the believe that my wife was cheating on me but I couldn’t get to state the obvious because I had no proof and I wouldn’t want to lose it all at the court… So I got in touch with Mr Gary who is a pro tech expert. Within weeks of reach out , I was inside my wife’s phone… I could see all what she did with it, from exchanging pictures to her mails her social medias account, I mean Everything!! Even her Bank statements, she was sending money to this dude. I’m just so Grateful for this kind of people we have amongst us who could go far and render this kind of golden help. If you are in this kind of situation and you need help, don’t hesitate to contact Mr Gary. Cyberexpositors at gmail dot com


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