Someone invited their children. What to do?

I'd call or send a note. That although you love children and would love to have theirs at the wedding, there just isn't room at the venue. You apologize for the inconvenience this may cause.

Just be as polite as possible (kid gloves)

I would call them up and ask who is attending. When they say, "Oh, me, my spouse, our three kids and some rando neighbor's child," politely explain that due to space/budget limitations, you will unfortunately not be able to accommodate children. Act like it was an innocent mistake on their part, vs. an effort to wedge in uninvited guests.

I know it's tempting to just roll over on this sort of thing, but if you make an exception for one family, other families will cause a stink, and then you'll either have drama or 20 extra guests.

I second Brian's reply. The kids were not listed and people really need to learn proper etiquette not just for weddings but for anything. If it doesn't say "and Family" the kids aren't included!

Brian C. ....love that reply

OMG i found out someone was bringing their child throug a conversation i was having and i thought wow when was i going to get that memo, people are absolutely crazy and inconsiderate WTH

I see this posted a lot on this site. I don't know the cultures or traditions of everyone's families and friends on this site but I know in my neck of the woods, for many families it is automatically assumed that their children are included in the invite because of the customs laid out in the past by their families. From my experience since so many of our family members are scattered across the nation. The only time families come together are for weddings and funerals so the children are naturally included. I would always proceed with "kid gloves" in this type of situations. They may have a different understanding of an invite to a wedding.

I'd stay away from claiming budget, but you can claim space limitations, or rules of the venue- because alcohol will be served, etc.

It's nto a comfortable conversation to have, but you are going to have to call them and apologize for their mistake and say that their children cannot be accomodated.

I agree with Serena that many people see weddings as a family event, and, as such, the whole family is invited.

That's why it's best to proceed as if the parents made an innocent mistake, vs getting all het up about them trying to wedge in extra guests (which, let's face it, is generally more common than an innocent mistake).

I concur with Brian's reply, but would omit the explanation. Instead saying:

"Hi, I noticed you penned in ________'s names. We're having an adults-only reception. I really wish we could let _________ attend, but we simply can't. Thanks so much for your understanding."

I work as a Customer service trainer, sometimes it's better to give no excuses. It might just make you look cheap. It is your choice as a couple to have an adults-only receptions and that is perfectly awesome! You don't need to justify it.

I agree with Rebecca T. and I dont know why it is becoming normal for people to not understand etiquette....so frustrating! If their names are not on the invite...they aren't invited, why is this so hard for people to understand? ugh!

I would totally put this one on the parents! Haha maybe I am a wimp but if it is your side or your FH side, have yours or his parents handle this one. They can explain the situation just as Rebecca T says.

Will you all please to explain to me why the parents should handle this? It isn't their wedding! If it's their cousin who just got a courtesy invite because you have similar DNA, have the parents do it. But this is their wedding. As much as it sucks, they have to make this phone call.

I have to agree with Meghan, it would make you look very immature to not just call them yourself....it actually may add fuel to the fire to have someone else call and tell them. Although if they are from the groom's side, I would have him call. Yes, it sucks and is uncomfortable, but this is something that either you or the groom need to handle.

I just had to do this... With the exception of very close family members (my brothers and sisters children), we are having no kids. I had a friend RSVP with their kids. This is what I wrote to them:

Hey, I saw that you RSVP'd! Thank you so much! We are looking forward to having you there to celebrate with us. However, we are having an adults only wedding and reception. The only exception is some my nieces and nephews. I apologize for the inconvenience. Thank you so much for understanding and we hope you can still attend.

They responded that it was not a problem and that it actually sounded more fun! Win!

Yeek! We are having an adults-only wedding and I feel you. I honestly do not know why anyone wants to bring kids to a wedding! I remember the weddings I attended as a kid to be BORING, the food too fancy for my picky little self, and the outfit uncomfortable. And I'm sure my parents had a blast listening to me whine all night!

Apart from that, I think whoever added the guest to the list can be responsible for letting them know the wee ones are a no-go. FH and I made our lists first - our friends and close family. Then the parents got to add anyone else they wanted; their friends, distant family I've never met or haven't seen in 10 years but they still talk to on facebook, whoever. I'm not about to call FMIL's friend from college who I have never met and my fiance has met once and tell her "hey girl, no rug rats." That's totes on her.

Last thought, don't feel like you need to make any excuse for not inviting kids. Its your choice and you don't have to explain it.