Social Media: Is this rude??

"Should I just tell her straight up that this stuff is rude? Or should I just let it be?"

Just let it be.

And if other people will see it and realize they are not invited - so what? They will realize sooner or later they weren't invited when they find out this person got married, won't they? It's not a secret.

Just let it be. Especially since you don't have a great relationship with her and she didn't ask for advice...just let it be.

I dont see an issue with the post at all. Im sure her friends know who is invited and who isnt.

Unnecessary. Puts her in bad spot when people don't get them makes it feel like competition.

I agree with WWJo, posting to all of her FB friends could result in someone (who won't be invited) asking where's their invite.

Since your relationship is already strained, I don't think you should say anything about it. It's her issue to deal with. Just lead by example.

Also, one of my classmates invited his entire list of Facebook friends to his wedding. I didn't accept or decline. I assumed it was a mistake.

Super tacky!

Wow @LoveLoveLove did your classmate have a lot of random guests there?

What my mom suggested I do is send a followup EMAIL to our guests, in case invites got lost in the mail. Some people didn't get their STDs in our case.

We didn't post anything about our engagement/wedding until we posted a selfie ON our wedding night. Needless to say, we surprised a shit ton of people. After the wedding, two of H's friends said they were taken aback about not getting an invite. THAT is exactly why we chose not to post anything on social media.

Not smart.

Is she inviting everyone on Facebook? Wow I haven't mentioned much about our wedding bc it is small and out of town so we have kept it quiet except when asked the date face to face with others . Let it be she will realize what she has stirred up

Yes! @GymRat Our engagement happened in public. Then we announced our engagement "officially" in the newspaper and everyone knew about it because one of my friends posted about how excited he was, but from that point on we haven't discussed planning or details with anyone outside of immediate family. We've been especially careful about social media. We posted e-pics in an album but we have no details about STDs, invites or anything! I think it should be kept that way.

@OP, I don't know. I didn't go. I don't remember seeing pics afterwards either. I can only hope most people felt like I did and just ignored it - thinking he was really excited and didn't mean to invite everyone.

I think this is more stupid than rude.

A friend of mine made a closed page/group on FB with only the people they were inviting. I dont know of that was any better but I thought, Hey. At least all of facebook doesn't see it.

Yikes! My mom sent me a picture of my bridal shower invite and wedding invite (we sent ours early because everyone is traveling) and she asked me when she could post the picture to her Facebook!! She is one of those literally post every single little thing and detail. I about died. I told her absolutely not! There's people on there that aren't invited and probably think they should have been and I don't want people seeing all of the information!

I don't think posting that much information on facebook is a good idea. It just invites awkwardness. My FH put up a status when we found a venue. It wasn't specific, it was just: "We finally found a venue and set a date!" But I told him that should expect a ton of questions, oh, where's the venue? when's the big day? Some of which will just be curiosity but others will be vying for an invite. I always get uneasy when someone who I know we won't be inviting asks us about our date or our venue. It gets uncomfortable, fast! He ended up deleting the status and texting some close family and friends instead.

@RachelT Yes, that is one of my peeves. At my little sister's graduation party last month we had a lot of extended friends and family there who aren't invited to my wedding but know we're engaged. They would ask the date and venue and that stuff makes me so nervous. I told them the date and instead of saying where it is, I just said "A Chapel in Tennesee". We had a situation where one of my extended family members responded with "wow, how exciting! We'll have to fly down once you give me the details". I just said "it's a more intimate wedding and we're really excited. Glad you're excited for us too." So awkward!!!!

It doesn't bother me as much as it seems to bother other people. I never assume I'm invited or want to be invited. I did do posts on facebook (just because people are CONSTANTLY on their phones, but for some reason can't call or text back), HOWEVER, you have the option to make a list of people that will see the post, and so I made a list of only those who would be invited. So it was never displayed to my entire facebook friends list.

I would let it be. UO It may not be awkward for her. Although I wouldnt post this, Personally we will be inviting everyone we want to be there. So a random fb friend seeing it and thinking hey where's my invite wouldnt bother me in the least bit. I also find it very strange that people automatically assume that they are invited to things and i find it SUPER strange that people ASK can they come to things. I have never asked to go to an event in my life. Super creepy. If people want you somewhere they invite you. I can understand those who have a limited/intimate event but that may not apply to her?

It does apply to her though, and she's even written posts and shared memes about how expensive and taxing wedding planning is. She absolutely cannot accommodate our family in addition to her 645 Facebook friends.