Social Media: Is this rude??

Um is she inviting all her fb friends?

No, it's extremely tacky. Also if you didn't invite someone, and they see it on Facebook, that can lead to drama. Social media isn't for everything.

No, she's not inviting all her fb friends. That's why this rubbed me the wrong way.

Well yep. Extremely rude. She's also opening herself up for random fb friends to ask for an invite.

I see people doing that all the time! It drives me crazy!

I saw something like this recently, too. It was to remind *everyone* that the RSVP deadline was coming up. I thought it was incredibly rude.

She also posted this a while ago and my family was encouraging me to post a shower "flyer". I was like "no"! I get my family gets sooo excited about weddings, but it's rude to share that with people who won't be there. I just had one shower from FH's side, and I have one more that my side decided to host. Why announce to people over FB like this?

Oh really? @RaeGin wow...

I would say maaaaybe just maybe she changed the privacy settings so only those being invited saw the post? Wishful thinking.

Ugh.

I would not recommend this, doing this is like asking for distant friends and relatives to ask you if they are invited. It is always awkward when someone who is not invited asks if they can come or where their invitation is, and even though this type of FB post isn't the same as a verbal invite, I would have a hard time blaming someone who saw this for asking you where their invitation is "because I saw y our FB post but then I didn't get my invitation in the mail, did it get lost?"

I think everyone saw it. I want to pull her aside and correct her on this stuff, but we have a kind of strained relationship and I don't want to stress her out. I was engaged before her and she had been with her FH longer at the time, and she wasn't happy about that. I just don't want to drive a wedge between us. Should I just keep my mouth shut?

Why would you tell all your social media friends that you are sending out an invitation to a wedding knowing that many/most will not be invited?

Yuck

Umm they know when they get their actual invites. The only thing a post like this does is create drama when your non invited friends realize they're not invited.

The entire FB Population will be there.

I don't like it but then also, I don't care much what others do, it's their problem.

So, I am with you: don't do the same.

Should I just tell her straight up that this stuff is rude? Or should I just let it be?

If you can couch it more in "Think how bad the people who aren't invited" vs "How rude are you?"....

I had a situation where my FH best man took a photo of our save the date and tagged us in an event that was just my future in-laws and groomsmen. But, they are Japanese and don't do many of the traditional western wedding things (like BP) so I just hid the post from my wall and let it go.

This is one of the things that actually don't bother me as much as others, but I'm used to people posting things on Facebook that don't necessarily involve me. Perhaps it's a generational thing; if I got upset over every time someone posted something on social media that left me out, I'd be chronically bummed out.

ETA: Not that I'd ever do it, just that it doesn't come off as rude to me any more than 90 percent of other social media posts do