Sober weddings?

If you provide alcohol for those who want it, you and the others who don't can choose not to drink any? That seems like a win-win to me.

View Quoted Comment It's not really that simple. I understand that it seems simple but some people don't feel comfortable around alcoholic beverages. It can be really triggering for many folks and some people don't like being around drunk people.

Just be prepared for people to leave early or sneak their own alcohol in.

I like a good cocktail as much as the next person. However, I've also been to a mocktail wedding and honestly it's not the end of the world since I'm only a social drinker. If your family tries to fight you on it, just offer a cash bar vs an open bar.

View Quoted Comment I was thinking I was going to maybe have a cash bar for some of the time. I just really don't want to pay for heavy drinkers to problem drink. My family is like drink and cause drama people so I just don't want to fund that.

View Quoted Comment I assume most people know the bride is sober (congrats btw!) And it would be really jerkey for them to sneak alcohol into a celebration meant to honor her. I hope I have enough faith in people to think the wouldn't do that, but you never know.

View Quoted Comment If her family expects alcohol at parties, and is willing to fight her on this, knowing she’s sober, I don’t see why they would honor her request and not bring their own.

I really relate valuing human beings over drinking. Family groups are going to be so valuable during this time. I really appreciate your feedback 💚

My husband and I are doing a sober wedding. My half of the family doesn't have a good reputation with alcohol and social events, or family in general. I've told all of my guests, if you want alcohol at my wedding you don't need to be there. You don't need alcohol to have a good time and if you do I don't want you in my life in the first place. Made it clear to everyone involved in my wedding that if they have a problem with something I do then they won't be coming. Guests don't pay for the wedding, parents and couples do, and the end of the day it is completely your choice what happens on the day meant to celebrate YOUR happiness.

View Quoted Comment Thanks so much best choice I've ever made.

View Quoted Comment Rock on Mama! I was thinking of just not saying anything and let it be a surprise. 😋

View Quoted Comment I figured they don't know we won't have booze they won't think to sneak it in.

I am tired of proper hosting ettiquette to seemingly be in disregard to the emotional and financial health of the couple. Honestly, if I had friends and family who cared so little for me and my union that alcohol is a must for them to attend, I wouldn't even want them there, and especially not on my dime.

Plus, why should you pay for something that you don't want there and don't want around you? It's terrible.

View Quoted Comment In this case, your mental health is the most important. I think that's a fair reason not to serve alcohol.

View Quoted Comment I think it's important to tell the couple what to expect with a dry wedding. If you host an event, especially a thank you to your guests, and there is no alcohol, people tend to leave early or they sneak in unwanted alcohol and get wasted leaving you liable for whatever damage they cause.

Honestly we had sober guests choose to attend our wedding, one of which was a VIP. They enjoyed themselves perfectly well.

I have an honest, not meant to be insulting question, but what do you do out in public (restaurants, parks, concerts) to manage being triggered? Is that something you would be willing to implement for your reception?

Any particular reason you need to insult others on here by calling us “snitches”, and “to heck with them”?? I mean wow, way to offer support, while insulting others... 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

OP, I have a few people in various levels of recovery attending our wedding. I asked each of them regarding their comfort around alcohol. They all told me pretty much the same thing, they need to learn to be around it... it’s true. Nearly every restaurant sells alcohol, it’s nearly impossible to NOT be around it at some point. I understand wanting to support them, but again, it’s extremely difficult to have a dry wedding, when some guests do drink. We’re hosting an open bar, that’s our choice, for our guests, for our wedding. Again, we checked with those in recovery prior to making this decision.

I'm uncomfortable around drunk people, extremely so, but I TRUST my venue and bartenders to do their job and not allow guests to become stupidly drunk. The triggering? I’m assuming from a traumatic experience, not everyone has experienced such. Again, I understand being supportive, but it’s also nearly impossible to isolate from alcohol forever.

View Quoted Comment Not one person on here would EVER suggest you do something emotionally or financially harmful to yourselves for your wedding. Not one...

I can tell you that I don't go to places where the main event is drinking or the reason to be there is to drink.

View Quoted Comment Wait I thought you said being around alcohol was for your own mental health and to avoid a trigger? Wouldn't a cash bar be just as bad then?

View Quoted Comment I think that's kinda already happened 🤷‍♂️