So Upset

Is this really the hill you want to die on?

View Quoted Comment I guess I feel like he should have taken my side from day one when I said I didn't want her making the dresses.

I think you have a few options here..

1. You could just make the decision and purchases new dresses yourself. If you are looking at $20 or so off of Amazon, then I don't think you need to "ask for permission" because you aren't breaking your budget.

2. You could have you FSIL take the girls to a seamstress and Facetime you. Tell the seamstress all of your concerns. They are more than capable of fixing every issue you have identified.

I think the dresses are cute! Yes, I see your issues with them, but they are not nearly as bad as what I was mentally picturing. Don't stress. Don't settle. But don't not take photos becuase you aren't a fan of the dress.. it seems like you FMIL meant well.. it just didn't work out right. EVERYTHING is fixable!

View Quoted Comment Thanks! My fiance will throw a fit if I order other dresses. It has been extremely stressful even getting her to finish the dresses.

This is seriously not that big of a deal - you'll take a couple pics with them, and they walk down the aisle for 30 seconds. Literally no one will think anything about the dresses or the girls other than "aw cute.....flower girls". I think those dresses are adorable and with petticoats underneath they will be poofier. I understand being a little disappointed by them not being exactly what you pictured, but fighting with your FI about something this inconsequential is pretty silly. Just let it go - I promise you this is not the hill you want to die on with your FI and your MIL.

I would let this go. I had a similar issue with my flower girl dresses. Their grandmother made them and they weren't what I wanted. But as others have said, no one even cares about this except you. I was so happy that the girls were in my wedding (my best friend's daughters) and they were so happy to be included that I didn't even give it a second thought. And I had a $50,000 black tie wedding. So yeah, let this go or risk ruining your relationship with his family over something so small.

View Quoted Comment I just think it is funny because in the beginning he said if I didn't like them we could get something else.

View Quoted Comment I actually think their dresses are cute and once you add a petticoat under them you will get the desired poof you want. As for my flower girls, I actually offered to buy the dresses and the ones I picked out were around $150-200 each and were super adorable. But my best friend and her mom were so excited to make these dresses that I couldn't take that away from them. I'm close to her family so it touched my heart they wanted to contribute in this way. In the end, I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful wedding and this was such a minor thing. The girls were adorable and happy and it's one of those quirky memories I'll have from my wedding.

The dresses really do not look as bad as expected. I think a seamstress could definitely fix them and the girls will both look beautiful. I agree with pp's this is not something to continue to stress over. This can be fixed and it will all be fine.

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I would like them a lot more if the hearts actually looked the same. My fsil/bridesmaid suggested using small safety pins to move the fabric down on the heart to make it actually look like a heart. The other part that is upsetting is that at the time of her offering to make them I already had dresses picked out that I loved and my fiance told me I had to let her make them.

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I would definitely take them to a seamstress if I could, but since they live 8 hours away from us (and 10+ hours from our venue) and aren't coming up until the night before the wedding I cannot. Their mom wants to take them to her friend to try to take them in. They are way too big on them. I would gladly take them to the seamstress that is doing my dress, my mom's, sister, and sister-in-law because she is truly amazing and doesn't charge a lot. The heart is what bothers me. The mom is having the girls wear petticoats so they will be more poofy and I don't know how the friend is going to take them in on the side without messing up the red.

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My fmil doesn't know I am upset.

Not that I would do this but what if they wore the homemade dresses to the rehearsal and you bought the $20 dresses anyway if you are spending 25K already what is another $40. Your FH and FMIL will be upset if the girls are not in the dresses for the wedding but it sounds like you will be more upset if they are. I'm sure it will cause a big fight but by the sound of it one will be created regardless.

I think you are really lucky to have a FMIL that loves you enough to contribute to your wedding. Sewing is tedious work and you should write her a sincere thank you note. The girls look beautiful in those dresses. Who are you trying to impress with fancy flower girl dresses and posed photos anyways?

View Quoted Comment I'm not trying to impress anyone. I just want to like what they are wearing. When it came to picking out bridal party's outfits he got to pick put what his side wore so shouldn't I have gotten to pick out what mine wears. I had to change what my dad wore because he was upset because I wanted my dad to wear a black tux, but my fiance wanted him not to look like his groomsmen so I picked something else out to please him. I don't feel he is giving me the same courtesy.

View Quoted Comment Also when she offered to make them it had nothing to do with wanting to save us money or because bshe wanted to be included. On the day she offered to make them she literally said to me she was using the dresses as an excuse to drive 10+ hours to visit the girls. It had nothing to do with me and my fiance.

View Quoted Comment Fmil already told me if I didn't like them that was too bad because that's what they are wearing because she apparently gets to make that decision.

View Quoted Comment Is she paying for anything? If not then she doesn't get that final say. With that information f her dictating I would get the other dresses out of spite 😂

View Quoted Comment She paid for some of the material but we paid for most of it.

View Quoted Comment Oh I know. I had unfortunately lost my job and my mom kept offering to help anyway she could but he refused to accept her help. I have also given in our a bunch of stuff. I wanted a certain container for our sand ceremony, but he hated so I went with something else, I wanted my dad to wear a black tux, but he didn't want my dad in the same color as his groomsmen so my dad is now wearing a gray tux, I wanted the groomswoman to wear black to match the groomsmen tuxes but he wanted her to match the bridesmaids, I wanted no alcohol at the wedding because my dad is a recovering alcoholic and most of my family don't drink including myself but we are having alcohol, I wanted a taco bar during dinner, but he wanted it as a late night snack, I wanted plain white place cards, but he wanted them to look like hockey tickets and the list goes on and on. The only thing I have really gotten my way on was having my brother walk my mom down the aisle rather than his mom and my mom walk together. I literally had to agree to a first look in order to get him to agree to let my mom walk down the aisle with my brother. I hate the idea of a first look but it was the only way I was going to get him to agree to what I wanted. He is used to having his way.