So Rude

Money or gift is a whole different story but at least get a fuckin' card! geebus...they been living under a rock?

They weren't being rude on purpose, I just think they didn't realize that other's would be bringing a card. They might be clueless, but I wouldn't say rude. It sounds like they honestly didn't know. They might send one after the wedding if they realize that's the thing to do. If not so be it. I don't think its any of your business.

UO, but yes I think it's rude. At least bring a card.

I know you don't HAVE to give a gift, but omg, I think that is messed up. And keep in mind, these friends are well off, they just literally didn't even THINK to get a gift.

Then A was like, oh, well I'll just venmo them. I was like, yeah, you could, whatever, it's something. He tells his husband to vemno the couple. He husband B says, oh yeah I'll do it later (which he hasn't done cause he probably forgot).

Then, A and B start saying to me that me and my FW should have a email on our card box so people could venmo us. I was like, umm, no, I'm sure people will know what to do, however they want to "gift" us.

I just thought it was hella rude, as an attendee, for them not to bring a card to our mutual friends wedding. They didn't even have to put money in it, just a card or a well wishing note or something. So this post isn't so much about not giving "money" or a "gift" or whatever. It's more the clear lack of not even writing a note on a card to wish them well.

Ok, end of rant lol.

I find it strange that they had absolutely no idea to give a gift at a wedding, but maybe it was their first one? I think it would be rude if they knew they were supposed to, but it didn't sound like they had any clue!

I dont think they were being rude on purpose. Some people really do not know etiquette.

Yeah, I would have never asked or anything, but A literally had asked me what the wishing well was for, and that's how this convo got started.

OMG - we were getting ready for my nephew's wedding on the 9th and I was signing the card and writing a check when my step-mom, who was going to be traveling with us, said she didn't even think to get a card. What??? At first I thought she just forgot to buy one, no biggie, but then I realized she had no intention to give a wedding gift because we had gone in together on a shower gift. I let her sign our card and upped the amount of the check. I guess some people really do live under a rock, LOL!

Not everyone gives a gift at the wedding itself. We received two gifts (one was cash in a card and one was a gift card in a card) after the wedding from guests who attended the wedding. Though it sounds like this couple did not even think about a giving a gift. Personally, I would feel really rude if I went to a wedding and did not give a gift to the couple. However, gifts are not mandatory. If the couple did not have the means to attend the wedding AND give a gift, I think that is their business. ETA - just realized that they did not bring a card either. Some people are just clueless or don't have their shit together to plan ahead (like me!). I have often had to rush out to get a card last minute for a wedding because I am a procrastinator and just forget until I am looking for somewhere to put my cash gift for the couple.

I hate when people do this. I don't even go for a friend's birthday without bringing a card!! How hard is it to stop by the 99 cent store and pick one up? Or the grocery store on your way to the event?

Yeah and keep in mind, they didn't have a shower and they didn't have a registry. obvious gift was cash. i don't know, i just would NEVER EVER EVER show up to a wedding without a gift. doesn't matter what the amount, even if it's a $10 gift, that's fine, or just a card if you really can't afford anything, totally fine, but show your appreciation.

haha i know it's really none of my business and obviously the convo is done, it was more not being able to believe they didn't bring anything. and then the whole venmo conversation. yes, let's put my email address on my card box so people can venmo me. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? ugh!

The wedding was local, they didn't stay at a hotel. they literally spent $0 to go to the wedding. it wasn't about money, it was about lack of caring/knowledge. i am definitely not judging anyone financially.

This is my FH, so rude. We went to his step brothers wedding.. for a week before I reminded him everyday to stop and get a card, I got the "OK, I will"

As we are getting ready to leave for the wedding (we were already late) I said where's the card so I can sign it? He says "oh I forgot to get one" LIKE I REMINDED YOU EVERYDAY! YOU ARE NOT A CHILD!

So he literally just stuck money in an envelope, signed his name and stuck it in the box *eye roll* His only response was "it's my brother he knows I forget things." I was so embarrassed.

I get the cards now.

@Cassie local wedding with no showers and no card? Oh that is tacky as all get out!!

ETA: That is almost as tacky as giving a gift/cash and never getting a thank you card......

Probably just weren't thinking of it - I personally wouldn't think it was rude because I'd just be happy they were there to celebrate!

I would never show up without a gift. Who in their right mind doesn't know to at least bring a card to a wedding? I thought it was common knowledge.

Agreed, I thought it was common knowledge as well!

I know so many people who will not bring even a card to mine and FH wedding.

Is it a generation thing?

Surprisingly we had a few of these at our wedding also.

I'm not sure how old these people in your story are, but in my case they were single men in their early twenties. I honestly just assumed that they didn't know they were supposed to bring something (maybe haven't been to a lot of weddings, or normally go with their parents who take care of the gift, so it's not something they ever even thought of).

I didn't take it personally (I did notice, though).

@CoolKat, maybe? Though all of the other friends (in our age group - mid 30's) brought a card/gift so maybe it's just certain people not knowing? I don't know. I know they always say gift/card not required at a wedding, but I just think it's the rudest thing ever to show up literally empty handed.