So I'm going to a wedding planning party on Saturday

I mean, I think she needs a reality check with that budget business. To not explain to her why that isn't realistic is doing her a disservice, in my opinion.

Shoot them down... tactfully.

I would focus on the things that would most affect how guests are treated if you end up needing to pick your battles. This is just my opinion, but cash bars/potluck/not enough seats or anything like that are the worst offenses since they take away from a guest's actual experience at a wedding.

I think that is a wise idea Rebecca. If she wants to use fake flowers that I think look tacky, let her be. But if she tries to pull anything major, such as the things you mentioned, she's getting the honest truth! I'm definitely going to show her WW and all the awesome planning tools.

Go armed with info. Especially about how much things cost, because if she's planning to host that many people with that small of a budget it seems that she needs to be educated. Maybe print out a few WW threads with good advice on some key topics.

I agree with Rebecca about picking your battles, but I would be honestly when it comes to potlucks, what's realistic with her budget, cash bars, honeyfunds, etc. I would also suggest to her to join WW.

If you're going to show her WW, I'd make sure to hide this topic...just in case she searches your username.

But yeah, shoot down the really bad stuff, but I wouldn't comment on decor or anything. That's each bride and groom's own business.

Is there a way to give her some positive ideas, so she doesn't feel like you're just shooting things down? For example:

* If you want a $5,000 wedding for 250 people, you might want to think about an afternoon cake and punch reception in the church hall.

* You can't have a potluck, but you can put on your registry that you'd love to have people volunteer to make some food for the reception as their gift to you.

* You can't have a honeyfund, but if you have a small registry, people will get the idea.

If you can give her positive ideas, instead of just shooting down hers, the advice will likely go down better.

Show her www.costofwedding.com so she has some idea of costs in her area.

Give her the checklist from WW that says determine budget first.

Have her prioritize their needs/wants for the wedding.

I would be pretty honest in a nice way! She invited you to her wedding planning party and trusts your opinion. Obviously she is looking for advice. Why else have a planning party? Maybe you can bring some articles or something with you. Good luck!

Tactful suggestions. Like 2nd Bride said, offer a positive idea if you're shooting down an idea. That way it comes across more helpful and not just a barrage of holes shot through her dreams. It sounds like she just doesn't really understand etiquette yet. Hell, I'm 31 and still don't understand most of it.. Your heart is in the right place, I'm sure it will be fine.

You were invited to give your opinion/advice because she respects you. I think you should be honest, but as other's have said be nice about it and offer suggestions. Is her wedding this February or next? Hopefully 2017 or this will be quite the challenge.

Nope February 2016! Thanks for the advice ladies! I'll definitely make sure to be tactful with my words.

Given that its in front of other ppl i would probably tell her in a private way. The B&G shouldn't be told: you're a tacky, inconsiderate, broke fool in front of others. LOL