So I went to a potluck wedding

Um, Wendy C, the mention of the sappy Hallmark movie was SARCASM. Guess you didn't get that.

@Bellamae I gave them a card with cash Fh said we should subtract the 20 dollars that we spent at the bar from the envelope lol I think he actually did!

Gag. This wedding takes the cake. Oh wait, there wasn't one because no one had time to bake it.

I would have left after the ceremony.

Updates! I've been so busy so haven't gotten a chance to write the updates. So the bride was apparently a little upset that she didn't get as many gifts or cards. She, her new husband, wedding party along with family members had to be the ones to clean up the venue after. Initially she wanted to have the wedding party to be the ones serving the food.

Oh dear. Having the wedding party serve the food? Oh hell no; I'd be stepping down so quick!

I just want to share an example of a wedding that can be done inexpensively but without self-catering/potluck so that people also know that there's other options.

Friends of ours got married under a picnic pavilion at a state park. It was casual, but gorgeous and perfectly them. They had their favorite mexican place come by and drop off a taco bar buffet for the reception. (You could also do italian, bbq, several other inexpensive options.) It was all hot, properly cooked and most importantly safe. Plus, the bridal party & family could actually enjoy the day that was such a big day for the bride & groom.

It was by far one of the best weddings we went to and they barely spent anything on it. It suited them and their personalities so well and everyone was able to enjoy themselves and focus on the reason for the celebration/gathering (aka the wedding/marriage part). Food is never the area to cut corners if it means compromising safety. Never. Guest count. Flowers. Entertainment. Attire. Invites. Favors. All of these are good places to cut things and save money.

This needs to be at the top of all threads great POV from the guests

I've been to one potluck wedding and it was not a disaster. No one got sick. It was fun and relaxed. It was actually once of the nicer weddings I've been to and with some of the best food. I realize and accept this is NOT the norm. I would NEVER risk doing this myself. (Although I have considered something similar for an engagement party at some point.)

Everyone was asked to make a family or favorite recipe dish. People picked ahead of time what category of food they would bring (snack, main dish, side dish, dessert) that way there was no overwhelming amount of anything. We were asked to tell the hosts what they were bringing and email a recipe. We were told to prepare a dish that could serve at least 10 people.

The wedding at at the bride's house. I found out after the fact that the parents had been eating takeout and canned soup so they could clear their fridge out to make room for stuff people brought. There were about 30-40 people in total. They intentionally kept it small. All food was inside. Ceremony was in the back yard. People wandered in and out of the yard for the reception.

The bride's mom printed out little booklets with all the recipes as a favor for everyone to take home. They were presented to the bride and groom in a nice binder along with photos and some hand written notes from relatives so they could start their marriage with the recipes of their loved ones. I thought that was super cute and loved it. They also placed a little card in front of every dish so people knew what was in it.

In addition to asking guests to bring food they supplied food themselves. Food they had: a cheese and fruit table with crackers and salami, mixed olives, mixed nuts, a whole roast turkey, honey-glazed ham, couscous salad, Italian wedding soup (in a crock pot), wedding cake.

There was soda, water, and lemonade.

They also provided alcohol: a few brands of beer, bottles of wine, hot apple cider (in a crock pot), pitchers of mojitos.

A grandfather with mobility issues brought/was given whiskey and guests went and sat and talked with him and did shots with him. This was really nice because otherwise he might have been left at a table by himself. Also that man could drink!

There was leftover food and the had bought takeout containers for guests to bring food home in.

It *is* possible to have a potluck wedding where no one gets sick. I think the main problem is people have a gust list too big and want to have all the food sitting outside.

@caitlin 30 to 40 people is doable and what you described sounds like they put thought and organization into it and made it more of a family affair. What I went to Saturday was a shit show. She was trying to have a formal wedding and it was just no

Oh I wasn't arguing your point! That sounds terrible and I'm so surprised more people didn't leave early or get sick! I just saw someone else mention it can be done in a nice manner and wanted to throw my experience out there. I'm well aware most people who intend to do a potluck don't handle it this way.

I think people just don't realize how much work it is. Like when someone says they will DIY their wedding and three months later have a house full of craft paper and tulle and have gone over budget and are begging friends to please come over make wire flowers. It can be hard to be realistic about something you've never done before.

Caitlin, what if people had become ill and missed work or needed medical attention? Was there insurance in place for that? Just wondering.

I recently went to a potluck baby shower (had no idea prior to getting there so of course I was hungry), Nothing went together. Some things were just terrible. This is just a bad idea.

Ugh, gross

I have no idea. It's not something I thought to ask or even thought of at all.

Maybe their homeowner's insurance covered it? Or they could have taken out extra insurance for the event? Or they could have been blindsided if someone had gotten sick.

But, no one got sick. And honestly someone can get sick in any setting. I'll gotten food poisoning from restaurants. I understand it's more likely to occur in a self-catered affair. And clearly as evidenced by the main story of this thread it does happen. I don't want to diminish that at all. Any event involving food has a chance to go either way.

I think if it's small enough it can resemble a holiday family gathering. What do you do if someone gets sick at that?

I'm not pro-potluck weddings but I'm not entirely opposed to them either. It can be done. Unfortunately it's usually not done very well.

Lmao wow!!

Right. That's my point. No, I would not expect homeowners insurance to cover it. Caterers are licensed and insured. So potluck may come off ok or could be a financial strain if people become ill. Quite the gamble.

I'm not fan of potlucks in general but I think with a small amount of people they can be done right. Like for dinner parties, small family bbqs, and little parties. Just definitely not a formal event. I'm big on proper food storage. I'm the person that throws out food the day before the sell by date. I've gotten food poison before and it is not fun.

I'm not fan of potlucks in general but I think with a small amount of people they can be done right. Like for dinner parties, small family bbqs, and little parties. Just definitely not a formal event. I'm big on proper food storage. I'm the person that throws out food the day before the sell by date. I've gotten food poison before and it is not fun.

Jacks, with 30-40 people and the way they did it with food indoors and having room in their refrigerator, I don't see why there's any risk for people getting sick. Do you take out special insurance when you invite people over for a dinner party? I think it's totally fine to do what they did, granted it sounds like the exception to the potluck wedding rule of disaster. I definitely am not in support of a potluck wedding since it is in general tacky for most weddings (since they are providing food, you are not really hosting) and most people aren't prepared to pull it off. I don't think they are a good idea. But you can definitely throw family parties without insurance for the party. My mom's family hosts Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve parties/dinners for over 50 people every year. Plenty of families do this. There is one family I know who hosts a Passover Seder for about 70 guests every year, we used to go to and it was wonderful, without any hired professionals. Both of these scenarios require a lot of work ahead of time, and planning, but they aren't intrinsically dangerous. I still wouldn't do this at my wedding and wouldn't recommend it (sounds like way too much work), but you can totally have a big party/dinner without professional caterers if you know what you're doing.