So I went to a dry wedding

Ew. all kinds of ew.

Laura, you have fulfilled a public service of particular relevance on this site. Your post really inspired me. Usually, when this subject comes up, we talk about what might happen at a dry wedding (that's also poorly hosted). Today, we are hearing, first hand, what did happen at a poorly hosted wedding, and it was a failure of epic proportion. You KNEW this was a dry wedding and for that, and other hosting reasons, it was horrible -- even to the VIPs and family members. What about those guests who came and didn't know how shameful the hosting would be?

If you changed one bride's mind today, your post has saved a couple a healthy dose of humiliation, a lot of wasted money, and many guests a night of asking the event manager to point them in the direction of the nearest bar.

You also hit on something that I've often thought about -- why in the world would a couple spend thousands on a venue, catering, a DJ, and a wedding cake if a third of the guests (if not more) are going to leave after dinner because a few hours of sitting crossed legged at a coffee/soda reception are more than enough for most of us who have to wear our game faces during the week? Do bridal couples even consider those evacuated tables and chairs and think about the visual impact these "we left your party" monuments might have on them? I guarantee, it will be significant.

I know that there have been more than a handful of responses to your OP with comments saying that they could handle the dry wedding part, but what was inexcusable was the tap water, the lack of food, etc. Yes, the water and lack of food is startling, but let's not overlook the importance of alcohol. Mocktails are not a substitute for alcohol, and neither is a ice cream bar, a mashed potato bar, an espresso bar, or any other kind of bar (unless it's serving to the over 21 crowd exclusively). But, but, but...

But what? Realize that the guests Laura spoke about went, in shifts (long before the wedding was over), to a bar -- not Chuck E. Cheese, not a fast food restaurant that would have served them a cheaper meal, and not a dry establishment. They went to a bar because they wanted an adult beverage to add to the grilled food, the music, and the company. Ladies, you cannot change human nature. Celebrations and alcohol have gone together since the first fermented beverage was discovered (even the Bible says "wine maketh the heart merry" -- and you can't claim to believe the good book is inspired unless you take every word as inspired -- and let's not forget Jesus' first miracle. He was even asked a rather practical question -- paraphrased, "Why are you bringing out the best wine at the end of the wedding? When everyone is well drunk, tthe cheaper stuff is usually pulled out because nobody notices the lower quality". It was a fermented beverage. That's just a fact). None of us -- not a single one -- relish the thought of a bride contemplating her disappointment after it became clear to her that her guests left after dinner -- or hours before the event ended. Please, for those of you considering a dry wedding for reasons of budget (and telling yourselves it's for a different reason), rethink it. Start here -- unless you live the devout lifestyle 365 days a year, NOBODY is buying it anyway. They know it's about getting as many guests there are cheaply as possible. Is that how you want your wedding to be remembered?

I don't buy wine, rarely drink it, and never order it at a restaurant -- although, if I am entertaining and having a dinner party, I will ask the man at the liquor store to help me pick a wine that goes with the dish I'm serving. Why? Because I know a proper host offers an adult beverage to their dinner guests. Even I, someone who goes for liquor at a wedding, would be happy with wine.

I know there was a poster who said she's having a dry reception at her church; she intends to put sparkling grape juice in a champagne fountain. Why would you do that? Don't remind your guests of what you're not serving them.

As for the wedding you wrote about, Laura, these words jumped out at me, and they came out of the mouth of the bride: regarding her guests, she said she wasn't going to pay for them to "get shit faced and feed their greedy asses". To begin with, her language is deplorable. That woman was talking about her guests, and that, whether the guests gave her an hour of their time or three hours, tells us all we need to know about her. She is rotten at the core -- rotten. She is cheap, selfish, and self-absorbed. She had no qualms about accepting gifts from "their greedy asses", but she sure as hell had a big issue with treating them with an iota of respect. If greed was on display, she was the one displaying it. She, not her guests, was the one getting "shit faced" in her bridal suite -- and the fact that she wouldn't even share that minimal amount of liquor with her bridal party tells me all I need to know about her. She was thinking, "This is my wedding. This is a milestone celebration. It requires alcohol...but only for me. My guests can f off". She is greedy, and so is her ass, lol. She couldn't even spring for adult sized burgers because, well, sliders are cheaper. Tap water? She went beyond rude and went straight to antagonistic. If anyone displayed greed in neon lights, it was the bride.

And for what it's worth, there is no pass for her groom. He's a creep, as well. Nice. Blame her (publicly, and take a "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" approach to addressing what obviously became a public issue) and apologize to each guest for the lack of food and alcohol (or even soft drinks). What kind of man (or woman) doesn't say -- pre-wedding -- "Honey, what are we going to do about food and booze?". If she said, "I'm handling that", he could have said, "Great. So what are we doing?" I don't believe for a moment that he didn't know, but I do believe he turned a blind eye to her absolutely classless, greedy, hideous behavior.

Rethink the dry weddings. The majority of people find them offensive, and, if you care about your guests, the last feeling you want them to have as they head to their cars is "offended".

My family doesn't drink, but even we think this is horrifying! My Dad just laughed and said that the jars the water was served in were a real nice touch to the party.

Drip goes the sarcasm... xP

Well, that's appalling. Congrats, all your friends and family think less of you as a person.

Omg. That is beyond a dry wedding!! Glad you still had fun

Omg. It just kept getting worse. Thanks for taking one for the team!

Jeeze she sounds like a very mean person too! At the very least serve beer, wine and soda. I actually went to a beautiful wedding this weekend and it was just beer and wine free and cash bar liquor. I enjoyed myself and had a wonderful time!!! I really don't think it's much of a cost savings to go dry. My venue only wanted an extra 10 per head.

Ouch, pretty bad when the reception comes with apologies...

How is this even real life? What kind of person would do this?

I'm doing the exact opposite, as the bride don't really drink and either does my fh, but we are doing a country rustic meets class and sass type of theme, shots are the seating, and there will be tables upon tables of mini pies and mini rolls and jams and cake pops and candy corn and pop corn, and a free standing buffet of fried chicken and pulled pork veggie on kabobs kinda all mic and match laid out, and easy to eat even on the go or while standing. And since we are doing an out door wedding (in an actual feild) I have begin to buy 3 bottles of alcohol a week so I can stock a bar that is being made. We will end the night after dinner and dancing with a bon fire and smores. With an acoustic guitar. We have had alot of friends and family come together to make our day special not only for us but for all those coming to celebrate with us. I want a laid back fun and inviting ceremony and reception more of a fun weekend in a gorgeous gown!!!!

Bump goes the thread...

Where I live in NY the venue we went with doesn't even have a dry opinion lmfao! That would never go over well here in NY!

Now that I think of it I've never been to anything dry in my life!

^^^^^ this times a 1000

Wow that has got to be the worse wedding I've ever heard of....why did she even have a reception?! So people could look at her in her dress?! Isn't the whole point of a reception to thank your guests by coming? She needs an attitude adjustment! Poor groom but I find it odd that he "didn't know". My fiancé told me to do whatever I want (except when I told him his mom suggested a dry wedding, he said hell no to that!), yet I still update him on everything I'm doing lol

I was telling my coworkers about this wedding and they're in complete disbelief. They thought I was making it up. I wish I was.

FH just asked to make sure I let him see our final dinner menu before I email it to caterers and we should add more apps lol

I don't know the groom well enough I've only hung out with him when they first started dating. I just have trouble believing he didn't have any idea. I think she just convinced him it would be ok, and he went along with it, but when he witnessed how bad it was he had to apologize. Idk but it sure made my fh want to be more involved.

I'm reminded of that episode of Four Weddings where the bride at all the other bride's weddings didn't dance or drink because it "just isn't who she is as a person" and then at her wedding there was no alcohol, dancing or DINNER. There was just a dessert bar and a game show type game about the bride and groom... the guest brides ordered a pizza and ate it in the parking lot and it's the most exciting thing that happens. I'm pretty sure she lost that episode.

Wow I have never been to a dry wedding before never really heard of it until I joined WW but this sounds horrible.

I've been to kids birthday parties that were hosted better than that.

Holy moly. That's one amazing story... How to make a wedding suck, 101. The food and booze makes it bearable to go at all for most folks, btw. Don't cheap out completely!! Wow. Wow. Wow.