If anyone knows about the enneagram, I’m a type 9 (peacemaker), so conflict is not my thing, while people-pleasing is.
We just got engaged on New Years Eve. My fiancé wants to get married this summer and wants a wedding of 200+. My family is concerned about covid and being in gatherings of 200+. My concern is also covid but also budget and finances. Our budget is probably 7k. (Probably being because my dad won’t give me an estimate because he put my fiancé at an ultimatum saying “either a small wedding this summer OR large wedding next spring”) I just feel like there’s no compromise between my parents and my fiancé, because of his wants (not to have to make cuts and wants to get married this summer to “move on with our lives”) and what my financial situation is and concerns about covid. Plus, his brother is getting married in August and is having ~230 (most of which are his family), so my fiancé doesn’t want to have to explain to people why they weren’t invited to our wedding, but got invited to his brother’s. My fiancé doesn’t think the number of guest has anything significant to do with the budget and cost. But also what I NEED is for my grandmother to be there, and I can’t risk exposing her when she lives in an assisted living facility. I just don’t know how to get it through his head that a small budget like that is really difficult to have that large of a wedding without it being a “barbecue in the back yard” and covid concerns. My fiancé’s argument is basically “let’s invite everyone and if they come, great. If not, oh well, that was their choice.” And my mom doesn’t think cutting people in the summer is a good idea if covid is still a big deal. My parent suggested a small wedding then a bigger party and reception later on, but that’s a hard no for my fiancé. So I’m literally just in the middle of everything not knowing what to do with my stress level at 100 24/7. My parents suggested sitting down/calling us for all of us to talk, but I don’t want to do that and make my fiancé feel like we/I are/am ganging up on him.