Slight Future sister in law agitation

Is this her 1st child?

FSIL can't make the wedding then. No one is allowed to demand you invite someone to the wedding unless they are footing the bill.

This princess is being FUCKING RIDICULOUS. So entitled. So rude. She needs to be shut down. Its not her fucking wedding and she doesn't get to choose the guest list!! (Okay. Done yelling.)

So, I'm a mom, and it doesn't take more than one person to take care of a baby. Seriously. If dad is busy, there will be plenty of people around who will love to help her hold the baby for a moment, hand her a pacifier or a burp cloth, etc. She will live. I don't know why she thinks she needs a personal assistant. There will likely be lots of other family there too that could help out.

If she is worried about carrying all of her baby gear in... well, what I would have done is bring in my big stroller. I could put the diaper bag and other necessities in/on it and then I also have a place to lay my baby (flatten the stroller to a bassinet, or put the carseat clicked onto it) while I ate, used the restroom, or while the baby was sleeping.

She needs to be told no. Otherwise her unreasonable entitled demands will continue.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Nope, she's being unreasonable. I'd just give the ol' "we wish we could include everyone, but it just isn't possible. If FSIL isn't up for it, we understand."

I think she's being very demanding and you should not have to accommodate her request.

I would not invite your FSIL's mother. If she is known to be demanding, it's only a matter of time before she demands other ridiculous things that she needs at your wedding

My FHs brother in law and sister made a similar request asking if his parents could attend and then leave with the girls early so they could stay longer. We told them sure, as long as they paid for the extra plates. Granted we've met these people a few times but not enough to warrant an invite. They wound up declining due to other things but FHs siblings were willing to pay for the extra mouths to feed.

There's also a huge difference between asking and demanding. If I were you I'd tell her no. Just because she demanded. Rewarding bad behavior is a no no. And I can only hope she learns this before your neice or nephew makes their entry because entitled raising entitled spells disaster.

I realize I have an unpopular opinion here. Personally I would be a little bit more sensitive to FSIL, especially if this is her first child. I understand that she tends to make demands of you but unless this is going to put you over with your venue, it doesn't seem like it's that big of a deal to have someone there to help her with the baby. Yes your FH's brother can help, but he won't be with her the entire time and if she would feel more comfortable with an extra pair of hands around then I would give her that extra pair of hands. If you refuse to invite her mother, have you taken into consideration that she might refuse to come and also refuse to let your FH's be involved? She may not, but if she acts the way you make it sound, that seems like a very real possibility to me and to avoid it you may end up having to invite her mother anyway. I don't think it's worth the drama to put your foot down in this instance.

If your FSIL is not in the wedding party, then why does she need someone to care for the baby? Can't she do that herself? Did I miss something? I'm not a parent yet, but it would seem presumptuous of me to ask a bride to invite someone she has never met to her wedding. Some of my mom-friends have had this situation. Their husbands either went solo, or they left baby with grandma for a nice adult evening out.

I'm pretty sure that blatantly shows that she thinks your FH's parents aren't good enough/trustworthy enough to take care of the baby

And not to sound awful, but not all pregnancies actually result in childbirth. Maybe give it some time before a decision is made.

They are due in August, and you are getting married in October, which means the baby will be 2.5 or 3 months old by the wedding. She will really not be a "new mom" by then, we tend to catch on pretty quickly! I would not invite the mother, that's so silly. FSIL is being ridiculous. It does not take three people to care for a three month old.

@mack my 3 month old is my first child. I would never in my life think to demand that someone allow me to bring my mother to their event because I don't think I'll be capable of caring for my child in public on my own (which I am). I take my son to the mall alone all the time. I've taken him to the museum as well.

If she doesn't have the hang of the mom thing by the time the wedding rolls around, then she needs to decline and stay at home where her mother can give her all the help she needs. Homegirl is being hella rude by making this request. As a new parent, you have to accept the fact that you can't always make every event.