Slight Future sister in law agitation

I don't know....I've been engaged twice but never married. One day I will pull my head out of my ass and get serious about the dating scene again. If and when my own wedding comes, I won't invite anyone I don't want there. Certainly not if feeling coerced because of another person. Life is too short.

@Libby- very true! The baby isn't even born yet so theirs no way of knowing. A lot of woman can't breastfeed for one reason or another. Or maybe she'll choose not to breastfeed and the baby will have to take a bottle.

I agree with Erin. It does not take three people to take care of a baby.

It takes one. Yes, one person is perfectly capable of taking care of a newborn.

Sounds like SIL is being demanding. She can either stay home or leave the baby with her mother for a few hours at home.

As a mother, I speak from experience.

Oh darn, looks like FSIL won't be making it.

I agree with pps - she seems like a demanding princess. I would not be entertaining her demands. She can take care of her own kid or stay home.

I don't think you should have to invite her. That's a little ridiculous. She should be able to handle her kid for the time that her husband is doing pictures/standing up during the ceremony.

I wouldn't invite her. For sure.

I wouldn't invite her. This is extremely demanding and non-nonsensical of your FSIL. Part of being a parent is *gasp* caring for your own child. If she is unable to do that, she should stay home (or go take some parenting classes).

I understand she may be breastfeeding so okay bring the baby, but why does she need her mother there?? It's not like she's going to be slammed at the bar (or at least we hope not). It's s few hours long.

I wouldn't invite, because that's a boundary that needs to be set & I'm not about people giving ultimatums. Since it's your FSIL I'm assuming her husband, your FH's brother, will have a lot of family at the wedding- not just a set of grandparents but aunts, uncles, etc. That's plenty of people to lend a hand. Even if your FBIL is in the wedding party, FSIL should be able to manage with her newborn for the ceremony & while FBIL is taking pictures.

I wouldn't invite her, but that's because I refuse to invite people FH and I don't care about.

I wouldn't invite her. She's being rude and demanding. And like another said, your FHs parents will also be there, correct? There's two extra hands that would gladly help with their grandbaby, I'm assuming. She doesn't need her mom there. She also has her husband. She can take care of her own baby for the duration of the ceremony. The reception, I'm sure she can get a few minutes to herself by, oh I don't know, having the father of her baby help her out.

I just feel like you are going to be starting a war with your fiance and his sibling. If your FH thinks this is an invitation you should make, this is not a hill to die on.

I'd say no. It doesn't take 3 people to care for a newborn I mean come on. She wants to be demanding, then fine don't go. She shouldn't be making it that big of a deal herself.

ALC, if this starts a war within the family then that is entirely the fault of the FSIL. She does not get to make demands about the guest list for someone else's wedding. She is not entitled to bring her mother along just because she demands it. A mother should be able to handle her own kid. Sometimes entitled people need to be told no.

The "or else" attitude does chafe a bit but I think it's a reasonable request. I have no idea what it's like to have a newborn, but it sounds immeasurably difficult. Be the better person and invite her mom.

She sounds a little too demanding. If she needs someone there besides her husband to help her, why can't the other grandma (your FMILs/her husband's mom) help?

A.L, I don't agree with that. Just because someone is family does not mean you have to cater to their demands. Maybe if the brother and sister offered to pay for her mother and there was space left in their venue it would be workable. I hate when people use the excuse "but faaammmillly".

What other things has she been demanding about OP? She sounds like she gets her way a lot because people give into her demands and letting this behavior continue.

I wouldn't invite the mom. She can't handle being out with her child for a couple of hours...with her husband present? All my kid does is eat, sleep, and piss/poop. He's only awake when he gets hungry or needs to fart. Seriously.

She's going to need to figure out how to not rely on her mom. Mom won't be around forever and can't raise her kid for her.