Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

J
Just Said Yes October 2021

Sister pulled herself out of my wedding, should i still invite her to the wedding?

Jill, on August 12, 2021 at 4:19 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8
Saved
Reply
I got in to an argument with my older sister about our father. Things were already weird between us because she had recently got engaged to a guy that isn't the best for her. (She isn't even divorced yet from first marriage) I'm trying to plan my wedding and she is very M.I.A and then expects me to be happy for her when her bf asks our father for her hand in marriage at a dinner gathering for our uncle who just passed away. (Fathers favorite brother) We got in to an argument, she blocked me on Facebook, then two weeks later left the wedding group. She didn't have the respect to message me letting me know so that I could tell her to stop being a drama queen, it was an argument, thats it. I still wanted her apart of my wedding. Fast forward, its been 6 months. I haven't heard a word from her. No apology, explaination, nothing.. she didn't go to my wedding shower, and she didn't invite me to my nieces graduation or graduation party. She keeps telling people lies, saying I said she wasn't my sister so that they feel bad for her. And now my mother is pressuring me to invite her still to the wedding and be the bigger person. I know I'm tired of it always being about my sister and how she feels. No one ever thinks she is the one at fault because she's a very emotional person and they all cater to her and walk on egg shells so they don't upset her. Her walking out of my wedding party pretty much did it for me. I don't see her as my sister anymore. This is one of the most important times of my life and I needed my big sister and she made it about her. This fight and her doing this is going to be something I will always look back on and hate her for. There is a 9 year difference. She always admitted that she hated when I was born. The attention wasn't on her anymore. And our entire relationship has been her not wanting me in her life much and me always chasing her to be close. I see more now then I ever did before. Should I still invite her and make my mother and mutal family friends happy? Because in my eyes my sister doesn't deserve an invite. Please help. To still invite her or no? I'm getting sick of feeling like I'm the one at fault and that I need to fix our relationship. If it's truly me then I will make it right but I need an outsiders view. Thank you.

8 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on August 13, 2021 at 2:21 PM
  • AJ
    Super October 2022
    AJ ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I want to say extend the invite and if she doesn't show up that is on her, not you - but at the same time that is a whole level of toxic and crazy you don't need to be surrounded by on your wedding day! She didn't invite you to recent big events so if she wants to be petty then you be petty - two can play that game. My FH and I are in a similar situation where he does not want to invite his half brother for similar reasons (though not as extreme as your sister) his family (mom and grandparents) want us to extend the invite but my FH does not want him there, so they are trying to get me to talk to my FH about it which I will not do because I am being supportive of his decision. His grandparents have threatened not to come but we are still extending invites to the grandparents and if they chose not to come that is on them, and if we ever have kids they will not be apart of that child's life and we will be limiting contact with them. Its sad but they do not deserve to be apart of our happiness after the fact if they would not support their grandson no matter what.

    The big question is, do you think she would show up anyways?

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    The biggest question to ask yourself is if you’re going to be okay with not having a relationship with her or your niece (or any other children she may have in the future). If you’re okay with that, I wouldn’t invite her. If you still want the opportunity there to put this behind you and try again, I’d invite her and put the ball in her court. Either way, I think it’s important to set boundaries with your mom about your relationship with your sister. Let her know that you’ll be making a decision but it’s yours to make and you won’t be discussing it with her.
    • Reply
  • Jasmine S.
    VIP May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    She sounds very jealous and toxic. If you did invite her, do you think she would decline, or would she show up and make a scene? You definitely don't want any drama on your day.
    • Reply
  • J
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Jill ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    So my sister doesn't have any kids. Her foster daughter, she has had since she was 5. I tried to get close to my "niece" but every time I did, I would take her to the movies or mall or spend the day with her, I wouldnt see her again for almost a year. It's a very weird relationship. I ways felt my sister didn't like that my niece loved being around me. My sister was very close to my son when he was born. She loved being around him and was close to him. As he's gotten older and is 10 now she got less interested in being his life. And he calls her "that lady who's your sister lol" Which is normal for me because I know my sister well so I don't expect much from her. I honestly haven't been close to her in what feels like centuries.
    If I invited her I feel like that's giving her the satisfaction that she still got invited after everything she did. It would be like sweeping everything that happened under the rug and letting her know it's okay to act like that and it's okay that she has done this. But then if I don't invite her, I'm more worried about the family giving me issues then her. I have grieved the loss of my sister for the past year, I don't have much feeling for her anymore. I honestly don't know if she would show. I don't know, it's very toxic and I'm just realizing it for the first time in my life. It's alot to handle
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Dedicated February 2022
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    So as someone who has a sister who acts EXACTLY like yours I wouldn't invite her. I'm not inviting mine because she has decided to disrespect me and talk bad about me at every turn and I don't want nor need that kind of negativity on one of the biggest days of my life and you don't either!

    • Reply
  • Sylvana
    Devoted August 2021
    Sylvana ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    No. I would not extend an invitation. I didn't invite my brother. My mom asked me to multiple times and I said no each time. You're entitled to be around only those who truly love and appreciate you on your wedding day. You are under no obligation to invite people just because they are related by blood. I'd only invite people I actually want to see and spend time with on your wedding day.
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Super May 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    This is a tough one. I think weddings are not the time to try to mend relationships due to the risk of drama. Maybe before the wedding (if you have any interest), ask to get together to see if things can be patched up. If you are really okay with not having any future relationship with her, then its totally ok to put your foot down with your family and not invite her.

    • Reply
  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Sorry this is happening. I think it depends on whether you ever want a relationship with her again. If you do, then you need to invite her. Not inviting her will definitely provide the reason for her to remove herself from your life. Also it's the perfect way to scapegoat you into being at fault for that. I don't think inviting her will fix anything, but it might prevent further damage to the relationship.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

Who Should You Invite to the Bachelorette Party?
Bachelor & Bachelorette Parties Who Should You Invite to the Bachelorette Party? As you compile the bachelorette party guest list, it’s normal to have questions...
7 Signs You Should Hire a Wedding Planner
Trends & Tips 7 Signs You Should Hire a Wedding Planner Wedding planners can be total lifesavers. Not quite sure you need one? Check out...
The Best Black Friday and Cyber Monday Deals for Your Wedding
Wedding Services The Best Black Friday and Cyber Monday Deals for Your... The holiday season is the perfect time to score wedding deals. These Cyber...
Read more articles
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire article topics