Sister in law drama!!!!

Oh hell fucking no! I would not be throwing a shower for someone who is already married, f that!! In fact, I wouldn't even stand up in her "wedding" which isn't a wedding. It's a vow renewal or celebration of marriage! Is she trying to portray to her guests that her november event is her actual wedding? If so, I would even go so far as to tell guests she is already married and to not waste their time! This whole thing is a mess, and I would want zero part of it.

I want to be apart of this to not cause any drama but dont wanna spend so much money on a 'wedding' thats 9 months old lol

Part of me wants to say why don't you just call it a vow renewal but the other part of me is just saying "stay in your lane maybe things will change by the time they get to November". I just feeling like when you elope your giving up the right to not have everything that you hoped and dreamed of. To me it is childish to want to make everyone fork out a lot of money for someone who is already married. now I don't get me wrong I get if your doing a quick marriage because a family member could pass that you wanted to be there, but to just get married in a rush because you cant wait that is childish. You can't have your cake and eat it too!!!

How did she communicate that she expects all those shower/parties?

That would be what bothered me. Even if it was her true wedding and they weren't eloping , someone telling me I was expected to throw parties would make me then not want to throw parties .

I would pay particular attention to your own financial needs and decline all of the extras. If you want to stand up, then do that. All you need to do is get the dress and show up.

Personally, I'd throw her a small bach party (no destinations, just a karakoe night or a Sip n Stroke or something with just bridesmaids in Nov to keep the peace. If I had the money I'd wear the dress to keep the peace too. It's definitely odd and you certainly don't have to but it's really up to you on how much you want to start off on a good foot with her for life.

This is all very helpful thanks you guys!

It's not your place to judge. What's wrong with having a little more parties and bringing a little more happiness into the world? Why would it matter what you call it if you're going to the party anyways and it's the same outcome?

Not judging! I think your reading these comments wrong. I was never judging anyone, we are just speaking our opinion on this topic. I also thanked everyone for they comments weather they thought I was being crazy or if they agreed with me. I just think it little crazy to be married then still make everyone want to jump through hoops and make you throw parties that are meant for people who are married yet. I am sorry if anyone took it as me judging, but I wasn't. trying to see what other people thought.