Sister in law drama!!!!

Her November thing isn't a wedding it's a vow renewal by that point; seeing has they are already married and stuff.

That just sounds bizarre to me. I don't understand why she can't just elope in November right before. That's so weird

Bach and shower are weird, dresses aren't

She's doing a celebration of marriage by that point in November. So, no ceremony, shower or bachlorette party. It's really just the reception part.

A bachelorette party?! For a married woman! Oh this is deep!!!

Thank you everyone for yall comments glad im not the only thinking im crazy on this topic! Lol

She sounds kind of immature. Sometimes I'd love to run off and elope right away but I don't, because I am an adult and know how to wait. I would also know that it means forfeiting some big to-do later, not to say she can't do a dinner or something to celebrate but having a wedding after a wedding just because she couldn't wait? No.

Oops, I didn't read that she isn't doing the ceremony. Okay, but no bachelorette party because.... she's not a bachelorette? Lol. Seriously, I'd just say it.. tell her to wait. He's not getting deployed, no one is dying.

My sister did this a few years ago. She was married secretly for a year before I knew and the "wedding" was a year after I found out. I was pissed that she didn't tell me. She also had a huge BP and wanted every type of party thrown for her. The total amount for the parties, the dress, and gifts would have been over $1500, probably closer to $2000. She told me I was being unreasonable for trying explain why what she was doing wasn't right and for not wanting to pay all that money for "her 1 big day". I ended up backing out of the BP and then she uninvited me to the wedding. So I saved a lot. Lol

If you feel that what she's doing isn't right then either tell her or don't be part of the bridal party.

(Side note: if someone elopes and then has a "wedding" after for a reason like failing health issues then I 100% get that. I would support them and their decision any way I could). eta: missing words

My friend is doing this. Marrying in April with just their parents in another country, then throwing a party in dec..

I think she planned the 'elopement' thing and then realised how much she would be missing out on (in terms of standard bridal things) and wants those as well. She's asked me and a few other to be bridesmaids, and we are throwing her a bach party before she goes in april.

Most of us do think its strange. In particular the time between the marriage and party, but shes our friend so we're doing it.

If the money is the issue, tell her you can afford it and step down. If you can afford it, I would buy the dress to keep the peace. If you can do the parties before her elopement I would do that. But I wouldn't do them after, because she's no longer a bride.

Eloping and then having a big wedding where not everyone knows is kinda shady and she sounds a little gift grabby. If she is gonna elope she should call the wedding a vow renewal because that is what it is and I don't think officiants can use the same language in ceremony or pretend that they aren't already married when she does the big thing.

I agree with Miranda ^

My sister is going to do something like this with her wedding, but only because she's Mormon and their wedding ceremonies are different (my family and I can't attend). She's going to do two ceremonies (her real one and then a ring ceremony for everyone who isn't allowed to attend her real one) on the same day and then do a reception that night. I think hers is justified, but definitely not your SIL's. Sounds very very gift-grabby.

Im glad everyone else thinks tbis its crazy and shady as well!! Not my cup of tea but im going woth the flow to not cause any drama!!

Let me share my cousins similar story to give you all a good laugh. My cousin did the same thing, she had a secret courthouse marriage (her father was in bad health so I get getting married sooner) but then she wanted to keep her marriage secret and have a wedding on their first anniversary. She also posted on FB that she was married, so everyone knew but no one was allowed to talk about it (she's not bright). She went through with the whole thing but a lot of our family side-eyed it all - on top of the fact that she had us all work the wedding (serving food, photography, ushers, etc.), used plastic pot drip pans with sand and plastic toys for centerpieces and got married barefoot because she couldn't pick shoes!!! Her ceremony also lasted LITERALLY 8 minutes, processional and recessional included. My parents got her an anniversary card, I'm not sure that they put anything in it, and I didn't even do that. Needless to say she was the talk of the family through the whole year and not in a good way, especially considering her brother got married months before her and had a REAL wedding.

Wow thats a crazy story lol

Is it normal? No.

Is it worth causing drama over? Definite NO. She's your new sister in law. Buy the dress, do a small bachelorette party, enjoy the free drink and food. What's the real harm? Just have a good time.

Thank everyone for the comments!! Some of yall habe given me way worse story then what i have going on

She doesn't get to tell you you have to throw her any parties. Just collectively decide not to.

If you don't want to be part of it, then don't. Many, many people get married earlier; it's their prerogative.

And it's your choice to say no to it.

Why elope then have a ceremony? Just wait and get married. Odd deal.