U
Just Said Yes March 2012

Single and Planning My Wedding!!

Uril, on September 7, 2010 at 1:40 AM Posted in Planning 0 50
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Hi y'all. Sooo..I am a single 25 year old christian women with no prospects...lol, but i felt compelled to go ahead and plan my wedding. Everything that I have planned (nothing booked at all) I have loved for years and my mind will def not change on them. Do you ladies or guys think that there is a such thing as too early? I personally feel that every young adult women should be mentally, physically and spiritually always preparing herself for marriage, for we never know when God may place that man in our lives who is the one!!

50 Comments

Latest activity by Christie, on October 17, 2019 at 11:15 PM
  • Kali [Mrs. Able]
    Super September 2010
    Kali [Mrs. Able] ·
    • Flag

    Welcome.

    I don't really know what else to say. :-/

    • Reply
  • W
    Master June 2010
    wowjunkie ·
    • Flag

    The best part of planning my wedding was sitting with my husband and creating something together. This also is a great way to "practice" marriage, in the sense that husbands and wives need to come together and create a home and family, and have the ability to come together and solve problems. I feel that when women pre-plan their weddings it sends the message of "Insert groom here" which transfers into "Insert husband here" - I, for one, expect my husband to be an active participant in our marriage and have always encouraged and demanded his participation in all aspects of our relationship. Planning a wedding is easy. Focus on planning a marriage.

    • Reply
  • tram
    Super November 2010
    tram ·
    • Flag

    @wowjunkie--- agreed 110%

    • Reply
  • Panda Bride
    Master June 2011
    Panda Bride ·
    • Flag

    It depends on what you have planned so far. just from my planning experience, I thought I knew what I wanted for years, but my mind has changed 10-15 different times in the past 6 months. Also, what you want in a wedding might not be what your future husband envisioned. A wedding should be planned with both people and their ideas I think.

    • Reply
  • Kathy
    Master July 2010
    Kathy ·
    • Flag

    While you can have dreams of what you want, you truly need to wait until you find Mr. Right. You will be amazed how much you will share, in the planning.

    Truly, you cannot plan, until you find your mate.

    • Reply
  • U
    Just Said Yes March 2012
    Uril ·
    • Flag

    I thank you guys for your insight. I actually feel that God has put married and separated women in my path who minster to me about marriage so I really feel blessed that I am getting the edge up on many singles who do not get to hear what the actual "working" part of a marriage is about. I am also reading christian books about marriage and what it entails, but i do know that I won't know nearly as much until I am actually married and in that atmosphere. I never really thought of me planning my wedding as just inserting my future groom, because I am just doing that "planning" and I'm sure some things will change. Thanks for the advice !!

    • Reply
  • U
    Just Said Yes March 2012
    Uril ·
    • Flag

    Hmmm...it's nice to see everyone's opinions. i must say, that i don't believe in women finding men nor approaching them, so as the bible says, when he find's me, it will def be a God ordained union, and not something that we just slapped together like most couples. I never really looked at it as psycho in a way either...lol but I can see how it may "appear" controlling in a sense. I def don't think that it would hinder him from marrying me, because both of us will know through God telling us first that we are meant to be. I do understand that his input is def wanted, needed and desired however, I don't think its crazy to start having ideas that on my side I can bring up and let him have his as well.

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  • W
    Master June 2010
    wowjunkie ·
    • Flag

    Also, one of my favorite quotes is "Comparison is the thief of joy." I think it's really easy to get caught up in looking at everyone elses' lives, homes, children, ect. and spend your life coveting those things. I am still in school and find myself coveting those with regular full-time jobs. But if I spent all of my time thinking about how I wish I was out of school, then I'll never actually get there, and further more, even if I do get there I wouldn't have enjoyed myself in the process. Enjoy the journey - God has already mapped it out for you, so you might as well enjoy the sites along the way!

    • Reply
  • U
    Just Said Yes March 2012
    Uril ·
    • Flag

    Thank you! Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Rachel W. de L.
    VIP June 2011
    Rachel W. de L. ·
    • Flag

    You know, in the bible... the parents of the bride do all the planning for their daughter's wedding. That's why the tradition is that the bride's parents pay for the entire wedding. With that in mind, perhaps you should also consult your parents?

    • Reply
  • Nicci
    Master July 2010
    Nicci ·
    • Flag

    Umm...is this for real? To each their own but you can't really "plan" anything because it's not just YOUR day it involves another person. Who isn't around yet. You can think and dream but planning is a little out there.

    • Reply
  • Deirdre
    VIP November 2010
    Deirdre ·
    • Flag

    I am confused what this thread is about? You are planning a party to celebrate the union between youself and no one? I think you should go on a date with someone, create a relationship, do all the hard work and get to know them first before putting the pressure on someone to marry you. I understand you have a goal of being a wife and mother someday but what you are doing (planning a party all about what You like and what You want putting only You as the center- not urself and your fh) is nothing compared to the emotional and spiritual changing that someone goes through when preparing for a Marriage. So I guess yay for picking out colors and dresses but you are wasting your time. That will not fulfill the desires you have deep down inside. It's just a distraction. Put your efforts into finding someone that shares the same goals as you, without the pressures of a deadline.

    • Reply
  • Ruby
    Super August 2011
    Ruby ·
    • Flag

    Wow.

    If I had not approached my incredibly shy fiance (at the time), then we would not be where we are 6.5 years later. You're going to be very lonely waiting and dreaming instead of getting out there and meeting someone.

    I love planning with him and he keeps me grounded with all my ideas.

    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Expert May 2011
    Kristen ·
    • Flag

    I say, do whatever makes you happy! There is no reason why you can't pick out and "plan" the things you want for your wedding. Just keep in mind that your future husband may want something a little different and some of those plans may have to be tweaked a bit. I know my FH would be perfectly happy with me doing all the planning and him just showing up Smiley smile I'm doing all of the research and planning and contacting people and I just give him choices and ask his opinions but he's been fine with whatever because he just wants me to be happy and enjoy the day. Good luck to you and keep praying for God to send you that special someone Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Courtney's mom
    VIP September 2011
    Courtney's mom ·
    • Flag

    How old are you? Perhaps your time would be better spent on 'planning' YOUR future, as in what college you would like to put yourself thru and what you want to be when you grow up that will fulfill YOUR destiny here on earth, that God has planned for you. How will YOU contribute to the betterment of man-kind, as God would like you to?

    • Reply
  • Sara
    Super February 2012
    Sara ·
    • Flag

    I don't see anything wrong with it at all. Wedding planning is fun, and can be a way to escape. Plus it will help you be way more focused when the day come. However, speaking from experience, don't throw all your ideas at the guy before they propose. They tend to freak out lol

    • Reply
  • STB Mrs.Caissie
    Devoted October 2010
    STB Mrs.Caissie ·
    • Flag

    I was a girl who planned HER wedding many years before meeting my FH. Looking back, my original ideas, thoughts, etc. changed over time... but I had been planning MY wedding for years - collecting ideas of hairstyles, dresses, centerpieces, favours, etc that I liked.

    When FH proposed, I started planning OUR wedding. Some of my ideas we kept, some we modified and some FH's didn't agree with. FH hasn't been super involved in the planning process however we have made all of the important decisions together - food, venue, guest lists, etc. He left those finer details for me to decide and is looking forward to see the complete picture/vision the day of the wedding.

    From a girl who's been in your shoes before, it's great to know what you like & what you don't but there's a lot of other important details to figure out together before you start planning your wedding details. And be prepared to have YOUR ideas change into "OUR" ideas - marriage is all about communication and compromise!

    • Reply
  • Raptor Bride
    Master May 2011
    Raptor Bride ·
    • Flag

    I hated the idea of getting married until a few months before my FH proposed. I'm not a girly girl by any means and I was worried I'd end up in the 50% population of divorcees, but once you find your soulmate, you know it.. so, good luck.

    • Reply
  • ladylee
    Master June 2010
    ladylee ·
    • Flag

    I haven't read the responses but it sounds like you're not preparing yourself for "marriage" but you're preparing for a wedding. IMO a wedding is a celebration of the joining of two lives. How do you plan that "celebration" without first knowing who you're joining with? A wedding is not just the bride's day - contrary to popular belief. The way you're approaching it, your groom will stand with you at a "celebration" that is nothing at all about him. Not good. Not good.

    • Reply
  • The Awesome Thief
    Master February 2010
    The Awesome Thief ·
    • Flag

    I agree with most of the women here. I don't think that you're doing something good at all. You're wasting your time if you don't have a boyfriend or fiancee and you're already planning YOUR wedding. I think you should stop planning things or looking at things. You're just setting yourself up for disappointment or a fight if your FH doesn't like the things you've planned for years before you met him. Part of planning a wedding is communication, learning how to disagree and compromise and building your wedding around the two of you.

    • Reply

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