Should I ask my future sister-in-law to be a bridesmaid?

Can you only pick one? That's a tough decision. FSIL will for sure be your family, your brother's girlfriend may not. I think I would be tempted to ask FSIL first. If she does end up declining you can go to your brother's girlfriend.

My sister asked an older friend to be a BM and she declined and offered to be my sister's personal attendant. That mat be an option for whoever you don't choose. That way they're still closely involved with the wedding.

My FSIL is one of my BM's, but thats because her and I have spent many wine filled christmas's together, along with lots of other fun times. She is wonderful and I consider her a distant friend. Plus, she's with me for life now so it doesn't hurt to have her in my wedding! If you like her then you should, if you don't know her well, maybe not. Its a personal choice.

Ask your FSIL, she's gonna be family. I asked mine and she's really excited about it!

I think you should ask fsil but not your brothers girl friend. Fsil seems very sweet for throwing you a bridal shower. If she declines that's ok but at least your inviting her into your wedding party. Many of my friends has their fsil as bridesmaids.

Definitely think of FSIL first, just offer it to her but let her know there will be absolutely no hard feelings if she declines so she doesnt feel pushed into it.

I asked mine and she declined. I haven't gone around making a point about talking about it but it has come up in conversation with my family. The reaction is one of disgust. I think they feel it was very rude of her to say no. I don't know how I feel about it. I'm a little put off and disappointed. I worry that she might be representing a lack of enthusiasm on the in-law side. We'll see....

I don't think it's necessary to ask either of them if you aren't super close. It's a nice gesture but you don't have to. I have a friend who asked her then-FSIL (now SIL) to be a BM because she thought it would be nice and bring them a little closer. The exact opposite happened. She was a royal PITA to my friend and was a complete ass about all the planning stuff. Not saying this would happen to you, but don't feel obligated to ask either of them "just because".

I would definitely ask FSIL. I would be devastated if my brother didn't have my in his wedding whenever he decides to get married, I know not everyone agrees on this but I always think family should be included...unless they've done something terrible to you.

FSIL yes, brother's gf no.

Is FH close to FSIL? Does he want her? I asked my FSIL Cuz FH wanted her In the wedding. I have one of my guy friends as his groomsman. I prob wouldn't ask the gf.

On your FSIL, does it mean a lot to your FH? As in is he close to her? If yes, then I'd ask her. I'm not close to my FSIL, just met her recently but she's still a bridesmaid. I don't agree with the making FSIL a "grooms woman " thing if FH is close to her, and more with girls on your side and guys on his..even if guys come from you and girls come from him (we chose two mutual friends that I was friends with first for groomsmen ... I would never have someone FH didn't like as a groomsman though , I would just incorporate them as an usher )

And as far as your brother's gf, is she friendly or your friend??? Big difference, even if they are engaged by your wedding you don't have to choose her.

And lastly, I think you should be waiting on picking your bridal party , as you still have a year and relationships can change. Avoid the "I want to fire bm drama" and just wait to pick them ...

If you would enjoy having them both as part of your prewedding festivities and introducing them to your friends, ask both! They're going to be family and they will absolutely appreciate the gesture. Asking is in no way pressure to accept, so don't worry about that being awkward!

I'm the only girl in the family and have 4 brothers. The only 2 times that I was a BM was when 2 of my brothers got married (so I was the FSIL). Both brides had at least 1 sister, so I was honored to be asked.

My FH has 2 sisters, I like them, but I'm not that close with them (neither is my FH) and we're keeping our bridal party really small (3 BM, 2 GM). Don't feel pressured or obligated unless your FH really wants her in it. As for your brother's GF, I would treat it as more of a friend or not. If they break up, will you regret having her in your wedding? If you're answer is no, than by all means ask. Again--don't feel obligated.

I asked my FSIL (she's younger than us by a few years) and she said yes and is super excited, but I'm close to her(FH and I have been dating going on 8 years so we've had time to get close), she's like the little sister I never had!! I wouldn't ask brother's gf if for no other reason than what if they break up before the wedding, wouldn't that be a tad awkward of a situation?

A lot of people will encourage you not to make someone your BM that you are not super close to, so that would suggest no to your fiance's sister but possibly a yes to your brother's girlfriend. I personally took the wedding to be a good opportunity to try to get closer with my fiance's sisters, so i asked all four of them (yes, four!) to be in my bridal party. Obviously it means having a lot of BMs (I totaled out at 9, with four of them being FSILs) but it has also been wonderful including them in our wedding plans and it has definitely made us all closer.

My FSIL is one of my bridesmaids. She is younger than me (all of my maids), but she and I have a good relationship, and I don't have any sisters, so I want us to do more bonding and get a little closer. Plus, she really looks up to her big brother (FH), so I know it means a lot to her to be a part of our day.

I asked my FSIL and my Fh brothers fiancé because they have been together just as long as us and we are pretty close and my kids call Her auntie so it seemed only right. do what makes you happy and comfortable and don't worry about what others think

I personally wouldn't ask either. I'm only having 2 of my bestest friends stand up for me. One, I've been friends with for going on 30 yrs now! (She was my first friend at age 3 and we've been friends through life). The other I've known since u was 13, so, almost 20 yrs. my moh is my sister. Fh suggested I ask his sis, and, although I like her and see her often enough, I don't see her as my BFF and wouldn't want her at my side. Maybe I'm just a jerk lol

I asked both of my FSILs, however I am close with both of them. If not, it's kind of silly for her to expect it. Brother's girlfriend though, is tricky.