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Just Said Yes September 2015

Should I ask my future sister-in-law to be a bridesmaid?

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Private User, on February 28, 2015 at 2:32 AM

So there is actually two people in question, the first one is my Fiancé's sister. She is older than us, and married. She is really sweet and I like her but we are not super close, but she has made is clear she is going to throw me a bridal shower. She is super sweet and I don't want to hurt her...

The second one is my brothers girlfriend. She is my age and is very friendly with me. They live together and will most likely be engaged by the time of the wedding. I don't know about asking her either!!

Thank you all for your advice in advance!

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26 Comments

Master May 2016
RJmargo · on March 1, 2015 at 9:27 AM
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I would ask your FSIL. When my brother got married, I was asked even though the bride had two sisters and it was an honor.

As far as your brother's girlfriend, if there is no ring then I wouldn't ask.
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Dedicated January 2016
Kelly · on March 1, 2015 at 9:31 AM
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It was never a question whether or not to ask FHs sisters to be BMs. They're family.
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Master July 2015
annakay511 · on March 1, 2015 at 11:22 AM
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Are there any other siblings in the bridal party? My sister and FSIL are BM, and my brother (fiance's FBIL) and his brother are GM. I would ask your fiance's sister, for sure. Your brother's girlfriend is iffy because she is not actually a fiancee or wife yet, and you don't know what might happen to that relationship even if you *think* you know where its headed. My brother has a serious girlfriend who he lives with, and he plans to marry some day, but I did not ask her because she's not family yet!
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Ruth Hauslein · on March 1, 2015 at 10:01 PM
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I'm wondering if you are asking someone because you feel that you need to have the same number of ladies & gents? You don't have to! If you know who you want in your wedding party, don't feel like you have to ask someone just so the guy doesn't have to walk down the isle alone. I'm sure he wouldn't mind just sitting in the front waiting for the rest of the guys to join him!
If you really want your fiance's sister, then ask her, if she doesn't want to, you don't have to ask anyone else to fill the spot! This is something you should not be stressing so much over. Try some meditation.
Ruth Hauslein - Wedding Planner (22 yrs)
Elegant Wedding & Event Planning
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Ruth Hauslein · on March 1, 2015 at 10:12 PM
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LOL! Man do I sound harsh! Sorry, I didn't mean it that way! I'm just saying, try to relax, meditation seriously will help, I think that you do have your mind made up, just follow your heart! Maybe rather than being in the wedding party, you could ask her to be in charge of the guys! She could make sure that they are all prim and proper, help them with their boutonnieres, ties, cufflinks etc...!
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Expert July 2015
Claudia · on March 1, 2015 at 11:15 PM
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Definitely ask your FSIL. I'm not super close to mine [yet] because she lives a few hours away and is five years younger, but she is my sister's age and is super sweet and I'd love for her to a part of the bridesmaid fun! If anything, this is when we can become close, and she's really excited, too!
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